I Thought Terrible Two's Was Over?

Have you heard of time-out. you have to stick with it . Have you tried pre-k. inter acting with other kids usually helps. just remember school is around the corner and they will not keep them if they are like that.

My daughter doesnt do those things but my advice for this is (and i have come to realize im guilty too) is she is picking up behavior from me. Sometimes i raise my voice and she will even tell me " mommy dont yell at me" and i take a deep breath and say" im sorry, but you are getting me mad, you aren't doing what i tell you to do" or something.. But still am i telling her its ok to yell if she is mad? NO! But she thinks becuases i do it to her, she can do it back ot me or give me attitude. I have put her in time out if she doesn' apologize or if she is disrespectful and it has worked, but she has done none of the things that you are going thru or how ADHD worsens it. Deep breaths and YOU might need a time out too, lock yourself in the bathroom if you must. as long as she is safe, walk away for 2 minutes. :)

Hi A.!

Good for you for taking classes and seeking advise. You're daughter is blessed to have a loving, caring mom. Have you tried showing her an acceptable response to "no"? I teach my children that is okay to feel angry and okay to say, "Mommy, I'm angry!" (or frustrated, or sad, etc) but is NOT okay to hit or bite or kick. When they do act out, I hold their hands or feet, look them in the eye and say, "We don't hit in this family. Use your words, tell me how you feel." Then they sit in time-out for a few minutes to calm down and when it is over we talk about what happened and what to do the next time they feel that emotion.

It won't be pretty at first...but if you can keep your sense of humor in the midst of being assaulted ;-)...maybe you can defuse her anger and frustration enough to capture her attention. Just hold her hands and sing something like, "I'm so angry, I'm so angry, I am Mad, Mad, Mad!" Let her pound her fist on her OWN knee and sing with you. My kids usually can't stay mad if there is singing involved!

Hope this helps, keep us all posted on your progress.

Warmly,
J.

Hi A.,

I was a pre-k teacher, and I had some special needs children in my class,I would give them 2 options, for example, say I told them to pick up the toys after play time, if they told me No, I would say to them, "ok you have 2 choices, you can either pick up the toys or sit in time out, that is your choices, so you pick one or the other which one will it be"? "pick up the toys or time out"? That way they fell like they're making the choice, you want to get her one choice to do what you say ( go take your bath or time out), (brush your teeth or time out). 99.9% of the time in my classroom it worked. but alway say to her "you have 2 choices"! That's what I learn in my early childhood classes.
R. B

Staying home and loving it
The Future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams..... Eleanor Roosevelt
http://www.stayinhomeandlovinit.com/cgi-bin/team.cgi?id=R...
http://www.cbc.ca/MRL/clips/rm-lo/mesley_cleaner030311.rm

Has your daughter ever been screened for a sleeping disorder? I feel that too many children are being labeled as ADHD, when they are really just not getting enough good sleep at night. My husband was labeled as ADHD as a child and as an adult had been diagnosed with sleep apnea. After doing some research on sleep disorders I found that alot was linked with bad behavior in children during the day b/c they are so tired. Maybe this could be somthing to look into and best of luck to you.

Have you tried a behavior therapist that can work with you. They can help in ways that a parenting class will probably not. Are you the member of a local parent network? This may be of help to you.

God Bless,

Pam

A., I empathize with you about your daughter. My Son 19, Daughter 10 and Myself ALL have ADHD. I've been dealing with these scenario's for years. Without knowing your entire situation it is extremely difficult if not impossible to provide you with an answer of how to help. Those of us with ADHD can be "very" complicated at times. For example, it could be that your daughter is hyper-sensitive to sound of certain things that drives her crazy and she does not know how to express it. I do know one thing for certain. ADHD children are born with a gift called "brilliance". We are natural born leaders... which tend to explain the "strong-willed child", "bossy", etc.

I do have information I can provide you it would be better though to contact you via phone or you can call me. My mobile number is ###-###-#### or my email address is ____@____.com tip I will share that I feel is a must... please purchase the book "Attention Please".... that book will become somewhat like a bible to you and assist you in many ways throughout your years of raising your daughter til Adulthood. It's been most helpful to me personally and for my children.

Please feel free to contact me. I look forward to it.

Respectfully your Sane New Friend,

L.

A.,
As your daughter has already been diagnosed with ADHD, I would try to find someone in that field who can advise you. I work with a student with ADD and his parents have him treated by a Dr who is into holistic medicine - no prescriptions. You may want to look into that. Also, there are child psychologists who can help with a behavior plan which may help you in the home with the behaviors that you are seeing.
If I can be of assistance, let me know.
A.

Hi , A. ...

http://product.half.ebay.com/Nanny-911_W0QQprZ46475707QQt...

The above link is to Half.com ... they sell new and used books and for this one , I saw them as cheap as $7.00 ; it's where I got mine.
I am not a believer in medicating kids for ADHD ... I believe it can be controlled , susally through diet ; sugar is a MAIN culprit in hyper-activity , etc. Anyway , the book shows GREAT techniques for disciplining kids... and it stresses that parents actually have sit-down talks with their kids to find out what's going on , and it's important to let the child know that you understand how they feel ... for example , if you tell her she can't have milk and she gets upset and hits you , that's an automatic time out for 4 minutes ( one minute per each year of age ) , and after the time out , tell her " I know you want milk and you're upset about it , but that isn't the way to show that you're upset. " etc ..
The book can explain it MUCH better than me , of course. Hope this helps ! :0)
~ A.

My daughter used to have the same sort of issues. I had one doctor tell me early on that she was "borderline ADHD". What exactly does that mean? Anyhow, I couldnt accept that. I searched for other things that could explain why my daughter who was normally so bright, creative, and sweet would have these god awful anger trips. No sort of discipline worked. It was as if she was a different child. I would cry at night wishing to have my sweet little girl back. Finally I found one book that absolutely changed our lives. It's called Raising Your Spirited Child.

http://www.parentchildhelp.com/SpiritedChild/tabid/59/Def...

another great book, also with the same sort of thought, is The Highly Sensitive Child.

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/child.htm

Go to these web sites, and see if what they describe sounds like you daughter. If so... go pick these books up now! :)
Good luck to you.

S.

how about taking her for some therapy with you?
you can learn hands-on parenting techniques, not just parenting classes (congratulations, by the way for taking the classes you have taken already!)

it sounds like she needs a strict schedule (make a visual schedule with her- she can help by cutting out pictures or drawing them- like of food for dinner time, etc)& reward chart
a good therapist or counselor can also help you with this...

My daughter had a huge change in personality and lost her speech after her 12 month shots. After a year of the Dr telling me nothing is wrong I went to the internet. The best book I found was Unraveling the Mystery of Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorder by Karyn Seroussi. ADHD is on the PDD spectrum. Another great book is Special Diets for Special Kids by Lisa Lewis. I put my daughter on the gluten and dairy free diet aka GFCF diet, and she changed in a matter of weeks. Her behaviors were aggressive and bizarre at times. She was only 2 when I started it with her, with your child being older it may take longer than 3 weeks to see results. You will have to get most of your foods from a Health Food store to do this diet. Don't trust the grocery as many foods have hidden ingredients that are wheat/gluten and dairy derivitives that you won't be able to identify in the beginning. If it is to be successful it has to be done 100%. It really isn't that hard though if you are committed. My daughter was on the diet for a little over a year. Her body healed or maybe developed immunities to the once aggravating foods. But she is now a very bright 6 yo and ahead of the average 1st grader. eail me if you want more info ____@____.com

I don't have direct experience with ADD/ADHD but I'm a member of some homeschooling groups with kids with those disorders. It seems to me that all of those mothers have put their affected children on a similar diets to those with Celiac Disease. Not to such a great extent but they have noticed that many of the products containing Gluten seem to worsen the symptoms of ADD/ADHD. I'm not sure exactly which foods they removed from their children's diet but I can research it from my groups for you if you'd think it would help in your situation. Feel free to pm me if your interested.

Good luck.

I am actually concerned with the fact that a doctor diagnosed your daughter so young! My brother has ADHD and wasn't diagnosed until age 5, but it was even stressed to my parents at that point that it is wise to wait until at least age 6 to diagnose a child with ADHD.

But, that said- if the diagnosis was correct, what helped my brother a lot was coffee. That calmed him down because my mom also did NOT like the effect of the medicine on my brother either.

I would also suggest ignoring (if it's possbile!).