You are married to my ex husband. It was awful and when it got to be that I couldn't take one more second of it, I kicked him out (it was my house).
My advice is to get a plan in place. Make sure you have a place to go with the kids, get copies of all bank statements and legal documents, including life insurance policies and 401k, etc. This way if he wipes out accounts, you have proof of the last balances in there. Also set up your own bank account and put your paychecks in it.
THEN, once this is done, have a talk with him. Tell him you are putting your own income in your own account and you want to come to an agreement. Have the things written down of what you want him to do/not do. See if he will agree. If he does agree, then give it 30 days to see if he's serious. If he doesn't agree, or nothing changes in the 30 days, then you are all ready to move out. You get your clothes and basic things and put in place Plan B.
You don't want you kid to be raised in a home with a dad who treats his wife like that. YOU do not want to be married to a man who acts like that. I moved in with my mom at age 40 with my 2 kids and immediately filed for divorce. I did not plan on marrying again but shortly after my divorce I met my now husband through businesses that we owned. My life is a million times better than it was with my ex. And my kids also. So just make sure YOU make every attempt possible to save your marriage. If it's not important for him to do the same then at least you can sleep easy knowing you did everything you could. Good luck.