I Need a Better Homework Routine?

My kids (8th, 5th and 4th grades) do homework the minute they walk in the door, while their brains are still in "school" mode. If they spent any time unwinding or relaxing right after school, it's all over - dragging them back into "school mode" to do homework is next to impossible. Then, once they're done, they have the ENTIRE late afternoon and evening to enjoy without having the "I have to do homework" thought at the back of their minds. It's what we've always done and will continue to do because for us, it's what works best.

The first thing that I want to say is that it is not your homework to do. If they do not finish by bedtime, they go into school with it incomplete and get the consequence from the teacher. Feel free to let the teacher know your plan. Having to miss recess or free time can be the consequence to get your kids to buckle down.
If having downtime does not work for your kids then nix it. Let them come home, have a snack and then start homework. If they want to get to fun time they need to finish their work. They can mess around if they want but they will not get to play and have free time. No need to keep nagging them to do their work. If they want to have fun they need to get it done. Let them know once, "You can play (watch tv, go outside..) when you have finished you homework. If you choose to take all night to do it then you will not get any free time. It is your choice how your evening goes." They can stop for dinner, but that is it.
Why does separating not work? It seems like that needs to be done.

Have a good day,
B. Davis
Child And Family Coaching
http://www.ChildAndFamilyCoaching.com
Because nothing is more important than family

We have them go straight to the homeowrk after school. Our theory is that the info is still fresh in the mind and they are still in school mode, even though they still will kid around a bit.

We had to separate the younger child in order to keep her focus. It works really well for us this way.

Implement a straight to business homework plan and allow them to understand the free/wind down time will come after the work is done because right now they a playing hard before working hard & you will want to change that focus around.

What is YOUR afternoon like? If you have the time, maybe you could schedule a one-on-one check in with each kid at a certain time and stagger their start and end times.

For example:

1. everyone relaxes for 30 minutes then
2. son joins you at HW table. You go through his homework folder with him. Make sure he knows what he needs to do. Answer any questions and get him started.
3. daughter 1 joins you at HW table. Do the same routine with her.
4. daughter 2 joins at table. Same routine.

5. By then son might be finished with his work. Check over his work with him. Pack his bag and have him LEAVE the room to go play or whatever.

6. Since by then the girls are already into their work, they might be better able to focus with you away from the table.

Another idea might be to set a "due time." Have some kind of incentive to be done on time and be on task while working. Have them earn points/marbles whatever. Have a five minute timer and check on them each time it goes off. If they are on task they each get a marble in the jar. (even if they're getting off task a bit in between check times, it'll at least refocus them every 5 minutes). When the jar is full they get some fun family thing (trip to the movies or mini-golf of whatever you guys like).

Hope you find something that works :)

Sounds like separating them is what you need to do. Put one at kitchen table, one in living room, and one somewhere else. As for your son distracting them, that's not an option. If he starts in, then he goes to his room until the girls are done with their work. Maybe let him come out again at some point, but if he starts in then it's back to his room. He's got to understand it's not going to be acceptable to bug them.

Also, if they choose to keep up the messing around after being told a couple of times, they then go to their room, then they can come back out and try doing their work again, if it starts again, straight back to their rooms. If you have to do this more than a couple of times start taking their evening TV, computer, x-box time away. Or make them go to bed early, all kids hate that. My twins are now in 5th grade, I would say around 3rd grade when they starting having more homework we had similar issue, when I started making them go to bed early it stopped real quick. They need to know that homework is just as important as when they are in school doing work and the more they mess around, the longer it's going to take and there's going to be consequences. And you have to stick with whatever you say you're going to do...

I have 2 in school , they start homework as soon as they get home, they are still in the school frame of mind, no rest/ relaxing / unwind time until homework is done. They also do homework in different places, different rooms even. They can have their snack while they are doing homework if that's how they want it if not after homework is done. We have all the homework materials in one place and they get taken to where ever they are doing their homework and brought back afterwards. Different kids study better in different places.
WE HAVE to do homework directly after school or it does not get done or it takes twice as long to do it.
This is what works with us.

I make my kids do homework right after a snack. that way they get it done and then can do whatever they want. My daughter has only a couple of pages normally and is done in 5 minutes.....my oldest is in 8th grade and its alot longer, but he knows he needs to do it and get it done to do other things.

Sounds like you need to split them up, one in the kitchen one in the dining room, one doing their reading on the couch.

Don't let THEM control the situation. If someone isn't behaving at the table kick them out! Make them fold laundry, put away dishes, some other manual labor until they're ready to get their work done.

If someone is done with homework, let them go play - outside or in their rooms until the last kid is done. NO coming in to distract the one who's not finished.

If you put your foot down, everyone will fall into line.

We use to do it the same way, and my daughter always got distracted. This year we changed it, she comes home, goes straight to the table with a snack and goes right into her homework. She never complains and its get it done quickly. She then goes to her room to read for 30 minutes and is done. I just thought maybe she stayed in "school mode" so it helps better.

I send the kids out to play and run amok. It gets the willies out of them. They get to visit and all the stuff they need to get out of the way after sitting at school for at least 8 hours already. Do it after dinner. If they are having more than 30 minutes of homework every day they are having too much. Studies mentioned by moms here on this site have shown that homework doesn't do anything to help the kids learn anything. I think too much homework is just wrong. If it was a job they would only have to put in 8 hours or so per day and child labor laws would make that even shorter...lol.

I found that when I had my child care center that kids could not sit down and concentrate well right after school. Their brains were full and they needed a break. I did not have homework hours at child care at all. I think kids do much better after a longer break after school.

Kids are in school 8 hours per day. They do get some play time but seriously, I feel bad for them when they come right home and have to sit even longer.

Homework after dinner is my plan.

We cut after school break time to the time it takes to drink a glass of milk and use the bathroom.
It's too hard to get back into school mode if the break is more than a few minutes long.
The quickest way to fun is to get the work done.
And once it is done, THEN you can relax, play, unwind etc.

I guess we do this differently than most. My daughter (9 and in 4th grade) does her homework in the evening. After school she has snack, relax, then depending on the day [karate practice, piano lesson, theater class, swimming lesson, walk the dog/play outside, or other active and physical time], then dinner, then homework, then bedtime.

I personally can not fathom sitting down to do homework after having sat in school (work) all day. I need physical activity in the middle to have any focus left. This gives time to get the chattiness out, too.

I have also reminded her that this is not MY homework. I've given her a time limit and then it is bedtime whether the work is done or not.

My kids get home from school very late in the afternoon, almost at dinner time, so homework gets to be a challenge sometimes for us too. At least they are in 2 separate school systems so my youngest has a chunk of time home with just me before her big sister gets home from middle school. We take full advantage of that time the house is quieter without a sibling distraction. It was a lot harder a couple of years ago when they had the exact same schedule. If they had to sit down together at the dining room table, it would never work, it would just be bickering and fighting, too silly, or whatever. They HAVE to have their own space for homework.

My youngest (9 year old) has a snack, and then starts homework right away. Her down time is only 10-15 minutes before starting. 30-40 would never work for her. She also is not allowed screen time before homework. So it's usually a quick snack and a little attention for the dog, and she starts. When the weather is nicer, I'll allow her more free time before starting if she is playing outside, that has never really been an issue, even if it pushes some homework until after dinner.

My oldest gets home so late she doesn't start homework until after dinner, but it's right away after dinner. No TV or video games. I'm OK if she has music or her cell phone next to her. At 9:00, all electronics and music have to go away. That is the goal bedtime for them, it doesn't always happen, but that's what we strive for.

I would say the youngest gets priority alone time with Mom nearby at the dining room table for homework. The older kids should leave the room and find their own quiet separate spaces. I would not keep on them to "finish" but I would just not allow any privileges until it's done. Make it their responsibility to see that it gets done instread of yours. My youngest gets distracted all on her own sometimes, but it really doesn't matter to me if it takes her a half hour or 2 hours. The longer she takes, the less free time for her, and she knows it.

What works best for us is homework right after school-after a 10-15 minute snack break. Our experience is that 30 minutes of after school homework will turn into an hour plus of misery. Kids are just too tired later. The sooner the better we've found.

My boys are 7 and 14. Our 7 year old gets home about an hour before our 14 year old. Both boys eat a snack when they get home, and then do homework right away. They choose to do it this way, and I encourage it as well. They like to get it done so that they can enjoy the rest of the evening without having homework hanging over their heads. I like it because it discourages procrastination. :)

It is the routine in our home, so we have no battles where homework is concerned. I don't even mention homework; they just get it out and do it. If they need help, they let me know.