I Have to Go Back, but I Can't Get Rid of the Guilt

Hi C.,

I know where you are coming from. I'm a teacher, but aside from finishing off the school year after my maternity leave, I haven't taught since my just-turned-three year old was born. It just seems like so many hours a day to be away. We struggle too without my income, and I feel like I should go back soon. I don't know where you are, but in Mobile I noticed last year that some schools had openings for 1/2 teachers. I'm thinking a half-time position at a public school would be enough to pay for preschool and some bills. Do you think that might be a possibility in your area until you transitioned or your kids got older? It sounds like you are already set in a position, but it's a thought. Also, I knew lots of great teacher/moms with happy, smart kids when I taught! Still, the thought of going back full-time is tough. Teaching is intense.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
L.

C.,

Being a Mom is filled with guilt, hard choices, heartache and also lots and lots of joy! ;) It's so hard being a Mom ... no one can really understand until doing it!

I hate it so much that you're feeling so badly about this. As Moms (and families), we all have to do things the best we can and make a LOT of hard decisions. There is no "perfect" scenario (working full-time, working part-time, staying at home, etc.) ... every family has to make decisions based on what works for them (financially, emotionally, etc.) ... and it is HARD!

I'm a SAHM now to my two little ones (2.5 years & almost 11 months), but was a full-time working Mom (outside the home) until my son was 13 months old. BOTH were hard ... just in different ways. Our family definitely struggles with finances now, but we feel lucky we're able to pay the bills on one income. I feel like I'm the same Mom though now as I was then ... I ADORE my children and would do ANYTHING for them (that didn't change with working, staying at home, etc.).

What I'm trying to say is ... being a good Mom (which you certainly are!) is all about quality, not quantity of time with your sweeties. I promise as your children grow up, they will remember their Mom for how much she loved them and what you did with them when you all were together (not if you worked, if you stayed home, etc.). I've seen children grow up from both types of families ... and both scenarios produce happy, healthy, well loved children! ;)

Good luck, and try not to beat yourself up too much. There's so much to feel guilty about as a Mom ... but just remember what a GREAT job you're doing! ;)

Sometimes we have to do what is best for our families. I'm lucky enough that I am able to stay at home with our son. I don't know if you ever considered it or not, but I also work from home. Its a great company that really is concerned about your financial health and really encourages using the extra income generated by working your business to pay off dept. If your interested visit www.momtomombiz.com or message me.

My children are seven and eleven years old, and I still miss them all day everyday. There is nothing in your world more important then your girls. Good Teachers are needed.
As soon as you get home each day, dedicate that full hour to giving your grils your undivided attention. Absolutely everything else can wait.
Your are experiencing a loss. The loss of a life style. You will go through the stages and emotions of greif. It's okay. Let your girls comfort you. This could be a great big new adventure for your girls and this may open up a new group of friends for you, your husband and your girls.
Let yourself feel what ever you feel and know that you are fine and will be fine. With respect and love from one mom to another.

Have you thought about online teaching? A good friend of mine teaches homeschooled kids online, and she loves it. She gets to do all her work at home, and only has to go one day a week to their home office to touch base. That way you can teach and stay at home with your kids.

I have managed to stay home with my children until school age 11,9, and 4. Now we are getting to the point financially that I really need to work. I feel horrible guilt that my four year has less than a year until school and I will miss it. I am really having a hard time with it. I hope everything works out for you. I get upset and just have to "talk myself through it", and hope that as time goes on it will become easier. I think it may be harder on the mother than the children!

Have you considered working in a day care/pre school setting? Even though the pay will not be equivalent to that of a bonafide TEACHER, usually they allow your children to attend FREE if you are working there. Win/Win Look into that option.