I Have a Six Year Old That Dislikes Everything I Make- What to Do?

My daughter will be nine next month and somewhere around kindergarten we had to toughen up much like the other women have described. I can't number the times over the years that my daughter has gone to bed without the evening meal because of her refusal to eat what I've cooked. Now that she's older, if she comes into the kitchen to inspect what's being cooked for dinner and knows she doesn't like it, she'll simply say, "I won't be eating dinner tonight" and I reply as simply, "OK, that's fine" and that's the end of it. Now, if I can just get my two year old twins to eat better, honestly, there have been a few nights when they have only had their milk and almost no food because they refuse to eat what's in front of them. But they sleep fine at night so I guess the milk is enough to keep them satisfied until breakfast.

I am one of those moms that says eat or don't but there is nothing until the next meal. It is funny because a lot of people ask me how I get my 5 year old to eat any kind of vegetable or meat and that is how. He knows I mean business. I do not believe in making a kid clean his plate, which my parents did. Just tell her this is what is for dinner you can choose to eat it or not. If you choose not to you will not eat until our next meal. After a couple of times of not eating she will get it. If she throws a tantrum then pick her up put her in her room and tell her she can come out when she is done and also inform her that if she ask for food she will be sent back to her room. I call it tough love but she will get the point that you mean business and stop this. Just a little fyi about how well this works my son eats brussel sprouts how many kids do you know that love brussel sprouts.

I serve one meal for our family (kids are 2 and 4). My 4 yr old is on one of these kicks too. I have been exercising something I learned from our "Parenting with Love and Logic" class. I say "Dinner time will be for the next half hour. Feel free to take what you need to make it to the next meal." I often add: If you choose not to eat, I would still love to have your company, but if you are disruptive you'll have to wait in your room until we're done eating. Enforcing that can get intense, but we suffered through it just a couple of times and meals are pretty peaceful now.
A wise mom once told me that you will never win a battle over food. So I don't battle. I offer a variety of nutritious foods 3 -5 times a day (includng mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks), and they have the chance to take what they need. Food is the primary way young kids act out and try to gain control over their little lives. When it gets bad, I try to pay attention to the rest of their day and look for ways to give them control in an appropriate way -- choosing clothes, choosing the order in which they do certain things, choosing what we do for fun that day, etc.

Anyway, my kids (especially the 4 yr old) have gone to bed without dinner several times. But you should see them scarf down breakfast the next morning!
One time they held out a while -- complained about dinner, then breakfast and played around at lunch, and I cut them off at snack time so they wouldn't make a meal of goldfish. My children actually ate asparagus at dinner time (I served it just to see what would happen!).
No need to offer junk in place of your family meal!

OMG I thought I was the only one with a picky eater. My 5 year old daughter complains about everything I put on her plate. Even things she usually likes! I'm going crazy trying to get her to eat anything. she doesn't like meat, fish, chicken, lettuce, bread etc. but she will eat junk food.
My husband is better at tough love so at dinner time he deals with her, she has actually gone to bed without eating a few times.
I really hope this changes besides hurting my feelings because I spend quite a time preparing dinner, her health concerns me the most since she is so thin.

Michelle,
My 10 yo daughter does the same thing. It is really annoying when I have been cooking all afternoon and she complains and sits at the table with a digusted look on her face. When she complains, her 5 yo brother picks up on that and does the same. Therefore, she is not allowed to say a word about dinner. If she does, she doesn't get to have friends over for the rest of the day. With that being said, the problem of her extremely picking eating is not addressed. I have always had the rule, you don't eat dinner, you don't eat until breakfast. Whereas if they do eat dinner, they can have a healthy snack before bed. My son is a good eater and will eat veggies, fruit, etc. My daughter will eat pasta and fried chicken tenders and dislikes almost all other foods (except junk of course). So, I have only solved half the problem, getting her to stop complain about what I cook. I don't know how to get her to eat. I have always followed the eat if you are hungry rule, but she will be starving and not eat if it is something she doesn't like. Some kids are very stubburn. I try to cook something I know she likes after a day of not eating. It is hard and stressful but I guess one day they will eat better, MAYBE!! Good luck.

She sounds just like my daughter. It seems every time I turn around, she has found something else she doesn't like. So dinner time at our house is, you eat your dinner or no snacks. Now if it is something that she has never liked ie spicy chili, or tacos then I will make her a sandwich or something. I know the tantrums are hard to deal with too. My daughter is a major Drama Queen. She can even cry real tears on cue! Anyway, I just send her to her room until she can calm down and eat her dinner. Sometimes, she falls asleep while in her room and I know the "I don't like that" attitude was because she was tired. Kids will eat when they are hungry and they will eat what is offered when they are hungry. Just be consistant. Good luck to you.

I have a 6 year old that does the same thing. We make 1 meal & if she doesn't like it, that's too bad. If she completly refuses to eat it, it gets wrapped up & put in the fridge for when she says she's hungry later. She usually will eat it later because she really is hungry. If she doesn't that's o.k. too. She has learned to like alot of foods because of this, so I think it works.

I have a 5 year old that is pretty picky too. We always have one part of the meal, something that we know she likes, but we always make her try at least 2 bites of whatever we're having. Unless I'm making something that I absolutely know she will not eat, we do not make separate meals for her. It took me a while to get tot his point, but my husband insisted that we not cater to her evey whim. It's hard,really hard and some nights she throws huge fits, but her weight is healthy, so I'm not afraid that she's starving. When she's really hungry, she's more apt to try things b/c she is so hungry.
Since you have 2 kids, you really have to think about how you treat each of them. If you start giving in to your 6 yr old, your 18 month old will see that and eventually want her way too. then you'll be cooking 3 different meals.
GL!

My pedi gave me some really great advise. As parents, we have a responsibilty to put 3 healthy meals in front of our child a day. They get to chose whether or not they eat it. He told me to offer food and give him the chance to eat it, if he refuses don't make a big deal about it, but remind him that there will be no other snacks. He told me that when he gets hungry, he will eat. He said it is realistically more of a control issue for children typically than a like or dislike. He told me to stop being a short order chef and to stop asking him what he wanted to eat. Ever since then I have been a much happier mom and I can spend the extra time I used to spend cooking 10 meals for him doing much more productive things. I let him leave the table when he says he is done, but I make sure he understands that there will no other food offered - END OF STORY!