I Hate When He Cries

My daughter and I recently went through this. She goes to a private baby-sitter, so it might be a little different for you, but hopefully this will help. I started to let my daughter "walk" me out. She and I would hold hands and she would walk with me to the door. Then I bend down and tell her that I love her and she gives me a kiss and a hug. Once I am over the threshold we blow kisses and she closes the door. It helped her feel like she was leaving me, not the other way around. With my daughter it was all insecurity. I am a divorsed mom, and she is a little insecure about her surroundings. Make your son feel as "in control" as you can...without him being in control of course. :) I hope that this helps a little, and if you ever need to talk, just send me a message. I completly know what it feels like to do it on your own, and its not fun. :(

I am so glad that Tammy told her story about being both a parent going through it and a provider now. If only there was a way to get the word out. It's absolutely wrong for people to blame the provider for something that is the most normal thing in the world. I know it's not easy. I had to peel my daughter off of me when I left her in daycare. She went to that place for 3-4 months and it never changed for her. I didn't blame them, but I know it had a lot to do with why I started daycare.

I agree that the best thing is for the parent to leave fast and not act like the crying is a big deal. It's just how they are at this age. The child isn't harmed in any way.

Suzi

A.,
I had the same problem as you do. My mother takes care of my kids now, several yeras ago my mother had to go out of town for two months i had to find a regular babysitter, my son was 3 years old then, i took him to a babysitter that a friend of mine took her daughter to, after the first week my son would cry and cry when i took him to drop him off, and i too would stand outside the door to watch him, he would stop cryin, but i think he would stop crying because he knew if he didnt he might get into trouble with the babysitter. after about two weeks i noticed he was losing weight, not as talkative, just not right, i talked with my friend (the one that had her daughter there as well) she noticed the same things with her daughter, well i came to find out that the baby sitter was hitting the children and not feeding them well. Theres always a reason why children dont want to go to a certain place like the babysitters, i dont want to scare you but sometimes you have got to listen to your children. And on the other hand it may not be anything at all, it may be that he just doesnt want you to leave, but its always worth looking into!!! hope this helps good luck!

I worked at a daycare with toddlers (18-36 months) and the thing that seemed to help the most with the kids that had a hard time with mom and dad leaving in the morning was, if the parent(s) would just have a quick hug and kiss and say good bye, or have fun then they would follow with I will be back to pick you up after work, or after snack ect. Yes they would still cry but it only lasted until the parent was gone. I know it is hard my son started doing this and it killed me. Luckly now when we get to daycare he reaches for our provider and looks at me like "why are you still here?" Which almost bothers me more, because he doesn't need me. I just think it is hard to drop you child off with anyone no matter who they are. Good luck I hope it gets easier for you

I had the same thing happen to me. My daughter was around one and a friend was watching her for me and she would cry so hard every morning that I thought something was wrong and had my sister start watching her. Now I watch little ones and have seen kids come in my door that are new cry every morning for the first couple of weeks and some that have been here for along time just have a morning were they cry and dont want mommy to leave. I know there is nothing here hurting them so I really think children just have moody days and really want mommy. I am sorry it took me watching children to see this because I lost a friend because I thought something was wrong.

My son is almost 4 and he still cries occasionally when I leave him at preschool. It has always been agony for me to have to leave him with someone else, and I think sometimes our children sense our guilt or whatever emotion it is you're having and play off of it. Typically, kids who cry quit as soon as their parents are out of earshot. I don't have much advice for you, except that when he cries, tell him you love him, make sure someone else is comforting him and leave the room without looking back. Don't let him see you cry, it just makes it worse. My kiddo cried for the first few weeks after I started taking him to daycare and it just broke my heart. But our daycare lady told me exactly what I just told you, and eventually it worked. Good luck!

This is very, very normal for his age and it is a part of learning to trust that you will always come back. It is also a good chance for him to start testing his independance a bit. Don't worry about it just walk away like nothing is abnormal. If you look in at him with a sad or hurt face before you leave because you know he is going to scream you could be contributing to his fear by making him think something is wrong with you leaving.

Trust me this stage will go faster if you are not afraid leave him or hear him cry. You don't want him to know his tears can control you.