I Feel like Such a Jerk!!

I won't let anyone come over if my husband is not home. Not like you were rude to this little old man, or not like he knew you could at any time blow his brains out. No, seriously, you are not a jerk. You are safe. =)

I don't use Craigslist at all. I don't trust it in the least. I do use FreeCycle, though, and I'll leave items in a bag on the porch for the people who are taking my items for pick up. Most of the time I never have to see the person who's picking up (or who I'm picking up from), and cash/payment never changes hands since it's all free.

I make sure someone is home.

And just for the record, even adorable, little old men, married 49 years can be complete mutant wacko's and rapists. LOL

You did the right thing--considering.

Yes, I agree better a jerk than dead.

But if you're this paranoid that you're hiding weapons around the house then perhaps the few bucks you're making off of Craigslist isn't worth your sanity.

WOW really death warnings and small weapons for someone on craigslist?
First you move whatever you are selling out of your house- garage, back patio, front porch. You can get the feel of person in the first few minutes of meeting them. If they make you uncomfortable make and excuse, always have car keys in hand and tell them you are just leaving.

Dont feel like a jerk. We have our house up for sale and I have been going through a ritual of making sure every window is locked, because I am afraid somebody is going to come back and rob us.
We sold a dresser last week on Craigslist. I made my husband move it in the garage because I dont want people in the house. He thinks I am nuts because it was a lady that called. Who cares! I would rather be safe than sorry.

Better a jerk then dead. :)

I would try to always have someone home, or do the transaction somewhere else if possible like a Walgreens parking lot.

Keep your cell phone nearby and maybe also have the items in your garage so that the exchange can be somewhat public.

R., I wouldn't feel like a jerk. You did the right thing, preparing and being ready to defend yourself and your home. The sucky thing is that we feel like we have to do that. I hate that! But it's true.

“I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand.”
Susan B. Anthony quote

If the person who showed up at your home had been a person who had meant to harm you, having your hubby there would only have given him two victims instead of one. Unless your hubby is a trained in self defense and happened to be holding a gun he wouldn't have been a lot of help to you. If you are so concerned with your safety my advice to you is to take a self defense class. Even if you have weapons scattered around your home you probably would not be able to get to one if the person walking through your door had a gun in his hand at the time; or if there had been more than one person at the door. Yes being safe in your home is the #1 priority but just because you have a weapon doesn't mean you can't be overpowered by a group of armed thugs. A well trained Martial Artist can disarm a person with a gun, quite easily.

Nope. Dont feel that way. well i mean you will anyways. Know though that you were just preparing for the what ifs. When that happens you are just being smart. Safety first. We had a family killed by people who came into their home to look at a ring. I am not trying to scare you. I just thinkyou are being smart. Maybe instead of preparing for each visitor that way, and it is something you do often. Just keep something small and out of the kids reach but you know where it is. My other thought is if you live in a house that you can install a cheap alarm or loud panic button that the neighbors will hear that way if something does happen you can alert people. Or, sorry I am thinking while i type buy an inexpensive blow horn or mace. that is safer and will at least stun someone long enough to hopefully get out.

Never be ashamed to err on the side of caution. It is your safety that matters.

My hubby will not let anyone ever stop in to buy something off of us. He is very paranoid and thinks that if they wanted to once they have been in the house, they could find us and come back. I have alwasy thought this was silly. until the news reports came out about the family near us.

You may feel like a jerk. Forgive yourself. Just be thankful it was a little old man and be happy that you got to meet him:) from the sounds of it you found a winner:)

Actually, I don't meet them at the house, I meet at a public location. Or I would have the item in the garage, lock the house, and only do it with other adults around and no kids. Weapons and facebook won't really help you if you have an emergency. It is also not just about being kidnapped on teh spot, it is more about letting someone scope out your home, property, number of kids, etc. collecting info about you. I don't think you were a jerk at all, but I also don't think you are being realistic enough in protecting yourself.

R., I have to be honest with you, posting the guy's name on facebook was not a good move. It could be easy to ruin someone's life by casting undue suspicion on them.
I agree with you, you went overboard.

We buy and sell on craigslist a LOT. We only allow someone to come if there is more than one person (adult) at home and all transactions that can be, are conducted outside.
If we are going to look at someone else's items, we ALWAYS go in pairs. That way, no one can make claims of bodily harm or harm to property.

It's important to be smart, but in a way that is not driven by fear or is potentially slanderous to the individual. If you are at any time worried for your safety, don't allow access to your home.

I don't think you were a jerk at all.
I have done some "silly" things too.
The first time I sold something to a guy, I did on my garage, I left the garage door open, I lock the door and give the keys to my older daughter and tell her some one was coming and that unless I call her to don't open the door no matter what.
I have a computer with me and I put sky so my husband could see what was going on and to know what the guy looked if anything.
I also was on the phone with a friend and told her I was going to call her back in 10 min. but if I "forgot" to please call me back because I needed to tell her something important.
I told her this in front of the guy.
Now I just wait until the weekend when my husband is home and we do the sale outside home.
Don't feel bad for make sure you and your kids are safe.

I agree with M R!! If you were dead, I'm sure you wish you were a jerk!!

Don't feel like a jerk!!! Better to be safe than sorry!! I usually don't have them come to my home. If they do - I make sure my hubby knows how to get to their information should he come home to a "mess"...

With the purchase of a curio - I would make sure it was outside - in the garage or something so that they wouldn't be able to enter my home.

Again - I'd rather you be safe than sorry - there are a lot of horrible people out there. If the kids were home - I hope you had the safety on the fire arms!! :)

And why aren't we friends on FB?!!!

Make sure my husband is home with me and accept only cash. If my spouse can't be home and it's a small item I will meet the person in a public place and make sure my husband knows where and when and I call him afterwards.

You can never be too careful.

A friend of mine places her husband's shoes and within view of the front door and calls out to him when she sells stuff on Craigslist or another site. This is if he is not there. Also, she has them within the door and has the phone in her hand "talking" to someone-usually her sis or mom so they can hear if any problems. She has not had any problems. The problems are usually in the form of someone trying to get her to accept a check for more than the price she wants and to give the change to the person picking up the item. That is just a major scam.

I've never sold anything on craigslist but when I offer something on freecycle I have them stop by when my husband is home or I have him take the item to work with him and have the person stop there to get it. Better paranoid than dead or the new target for their next burglary/home invasion.

First of all I'd never have someone from an online site come to my house unless someone else was here with me - if my husband couldn't be home, then a nieghbor, friend, etc. Or if that couldn't be avoided, be on the phone with a friend when the person stopped over and ask the phone person to hold on for a minute - put the phone down and left the conversation be overheard. I'd even say to the buyer - "this is my personal security system". Most people would not be offended. ;o)

As for planting weapons all over the hosue - I find that a little odd - and I'm all for the 2nd ammendment. Never owned a gun but if there was talk of infringing on that right I'd go out an buy one in a hurry. If this wasn't a little old man but a giant burly man who wanted to do you harm I doubt that the planted weapons all over the house would have done you any good.

Since you're asking I'd say - yes you are a little paranoid - or just don't plan well - or live in a bad neighborhood. :o)

I never changed my schedule. If someone can't come when hubby is home, it's just not meant to be. On occasion, I have called my neighbor to keep an eye out. I NEVER let anyone in the house, ever. Personally, I worry about someone "staking out" my house for robbery more than I fear bodily harm. Many times we sell larger items and meeting in a public place isn't always an option. I put whatever I am selling in the garage. We do business by the garage door, which is left open, so I am not out of sight for any length of time. I give out as little personal information as I can...I have a random email account for CL, I don't use last names (although I am certain it wouldn't take much to figure that out), the phone number we use is a business line with caller id and I don't mention my kids. I don't chit chat for too long. I like to keep it short and sweet. I also only take cash - it keeps me away from dealing with fraud and it helps keep transactions shorter. I have the same basic rules of thumb when buying from CL too. I have never had a problem with craigslist, never even felt weird, but it's always good to be cautious.

Lol. Take the stuff outside and don't have them come in the house.

I don't think you are being paranoid. We live in the same area and know all too well the crime that Richmond/surrounding area has seen; some brutal murders included. I always have my husband at home when someone is scheduled to come. I try to keep my kids away from people (although they are usually too nosey and come out anyway). I almost always put the item either out front in our yard or in the garage. I just feign that I did it for their convenience or so I could clean it or whatever. Truth is, I don't want freaky people in my house. I am ALWAYS paranoid whenever I sell something!

We had a funeral several years a go for a woman who was selling a car on craigslist or some sale website. He wanted to take the car for a test drive and she was dead a while later. You did not do anything wrong.

Just because he was a little old man doesn't mean he wasn't a serial killer in disguise or a rapist that knew karate or something. You should always, always be cautious and not take any chances.

Meet in a neutral place like McDonalds and let them see the product in your safe area. They are the ones asking for the meet, not you. Never meet them somewhere they pick or let them come to your home.

All those famous serial killers has a disguise or...schtick they did. One pretended to have a broken arm and then used the cast as his weapon to knock them out. One used a cane for walking and then it was his weapon too. They use our weaknesses to get our guard down. Don't take chances.

Why do you feel like a jerk? You were only protecting yourself. Its good he turned out to be a good person, but if he was not such a good person, you had plenty around to protect yourself. Stop feeling bad, this is why women get themselves into trouble, they think with their hearts and not with their guts!