I have been married for 13yrs. we were split up for a yr. and I filed for divorce. After almost a year I went back after less than 3mos. I realized he hadn't changed in ways he had said and marriage counseling didn't help. Anyway my two children and I have moved in with my parents and all is going well, we share joint custody with him having them 3overnights a week. He pays the medical insurance for them but dropped me last year. I work part time and have insurance through work, but make considerably less income than he does. He has the house, the Harley, and all furniture in the home. I took my belongings, the kids clothes some toys and my cats. To him I owe him marital debt so he doesn't want to pay any child support and wants me to sign over the house and not ask for any of his retirement, or anything else. I want him to be involved in our childrens lives because he wasn't for the first 12yrs-maybe he will be now. Last year was miserable and I don't want to fight anymore. Our state applies the law of whoever has the marital home pays less child support so-domestic relations does'nt work for me-his income of $45,ooo equaled his child support payment to be $67.00 a month-NO-NOT a typo that was for both children!! He was willing paying $50 a wk. Do I argue it or not? I just want out. Sorry this was so long! Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
Here's the Pennsylvania Legal Aid website. You definitely need some legal advice before you sign anything over. Good luck. http://www.palegalservices.org/
A.,
I have to agree with Maryam on this one. If he is keeping everything, then he should be paying you for your half of it. If you really don't want to agree to the $50 a week, let the courts set the amount. That is what they are there for. If he is using the kids against you, then let him do what he is going to do because he will be digging his own grave (as my ex is doing with my children now). I am in the same situation right now. My exhusband is using the kids to get to me. We have been divorced for 4 years now and he is still using the same tricks to get to me.
What I did when I filed for my divorce was I asked for it all. Of course that is not what happened, but there were some things that I had no control over (like his parents put the house in their names so that I could not take it).
You do not owe him marital debt, and if there are credit cards that you had together, that can be split by the courts, just like everything else can be. Personally, (and this is rather biased) I think that he is making more money, he should take on all of the marital debt and let you and the children have the house. :)
Best of luck! If you need to vent, I am more than willing to listen, just send me a message.
A.,
Are you in Delaware? Someone is misinforming you if you do live in Delaware. I sure hope your husband is not the one giving you this bit of information. He is just trying to get you to the breaking point financially so you will come back. Please call "Legal Aid" its right in the phone book and you can get legal advice for free. Hope this all works out for you. I've been there and done it. My divorce was as horrible as it gets, but you do get stronger and get a sense of being free from a marriage that locked your sense of self-esteem away in the closet for years. Take care.
What?! That is not right about Child Support. First of all you need a Property Settlemet Agreement to divide up your marital assets. It is YOUR home too and YOUR furniture and YOUR Harley. You both are responsible for the debt and you both have rights to all of the property. DO NOT sign over the house! Tell him he can buy you out and he can keep the house but the price should be half of the worth of the home plus half of the worth of your shared belongings that he has kept.
I'm guessing you don't have a lawyer? If you can't afford one you should still be able to go to court and represent yourself to get what you deserve. I know you want out but you also need to take care of yourself and your kids so you need the money you have acquired during the marriage.
As for child support, that is crazy. Have you talked to Dept of Social Services? They should be able to calculate it out for you and deduct it from his paycheck. My ex makes less than that and his child support is about $1000 a month for one child (he's in daycare but before he was in daycare it was over $500).
I'm still going through a divorce myself, feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk!
S.
You need a good attorney, ASAP! Find one whose specialty is family law. Most will give you a consultation with no charge. You need to find an attorney who is aggressive and someone you feel you can trust.
I am not familiar with PA law. MD is very different from what you've described. But this sounds ridiculous. In MD, they use a formula where they total the income of both spouses and determine from that figure what the total support for 2 children should be. Then whatever ratio each party contributes to the total income is the ratio amount of the portion of their income that should be used to support the children. The absent parent paying their portion to the custodial parent as child support. Shared custody is taken into account and the payments adjusted as necessary. Your expense are considered your problem. The kids are still entitled to be supported. I know of a situation where an absent parent was whining that they couldn't make their CS payments, because they were strapped financially. The judge told them to go get an additional job.
A divorce is a sad and stressful thing to go through. Please stand up for yourself, and get what you deserve. That is what is best for your kids.
I sympathize with you. I went through a divorce and then later a custody battle with my ex-husband. It was horrible and all you want is for it to end and to try to get on with your life. Please remember that you have to take care of yourself and your children so you are entitled to certain things. Make sure you have an attorney for yourself. Don't share one with your ex-husband. This can be expensive. Lean on your family as much as possible. If they offer to help, let them. It really sounds like you need legal help at this point. Good luck!!
Contesting the divorce is not putting your children in the middle of it. It's fighting and trying to get them what they deserve. You should be entitled to half the house where he either has to buy you out or you sell and split the profit/debt.
You and your children deserve better than losing everything but $200 a month. If he's threatening to withdraw from their lives and emotionally manipulate you into conceding to his demands, he's either bluffing or doesn't take his role as a father seriously.
Please get yourself a good lawyer. It sounds like you are being taken to the cleaners. If you have the children, you should also have the home as well. I know you just want out, but you can't be taken advantage of either. I hope this helps. I have never personally been through a divorce, but I have many friends who have.
Is he military? I know the command will get into it and they have requirements that the active duty member has to meet. I would demand you sell the house, split the equity, and the same with the harley. And after that is done, figure out what debt you aquired TOGETHER and settle that sepratly, wether by splitting the balance or you taking one card and him the other. Just make sure you don't get stuck with high interest or big balances. I would also have him pay more child support than that. It is very unfair. Or you can figure out who will pay what expences, clothing, sports, medical insurance, ETC. Just get a good lawyer, and stand up for your kids. They are the ones who are hurt by his underpayment. But Stay strong and remember, there is always the "for hire" option- LOL
