I Don't Know What to Do Anymore...

You've received some great responses already, and I absolutely agree that this sounds like he is NOT intending to purposefully poop his pants. Steer away from shaming, punishment, and additional stress -- focus on the physiological things that could be going on. Undiagnosed food allergy will absolutely cause continence issues, from constipation to diarrhea to not being able to notice the sensations of impending pee/poop. Is there a particular food that your son is enamored of to the point of almost seeming addicted (common culprits are cow's milk products, soy, wheat, eggs - though it could be any food that he persistently asks for and eats in quantity)? The next step would be to eliminate the suspected food completely from his diet and see if his continence/ability to control his bowels returns while on a "clean" diet. While you can ask your doc about this, you really don't have to -- you won't harm your son by temporarily restricting his diet for 1-3 weeks to see if it has a positive impact on his ability to control his bowels.

This is a sensitive issue, to be sure - I feel for your son, as well as for you, the mom! Hang in there, provide him with lots of empathy, love, and support, and be on the same team, as all of this will get you through it faster. Best of luck! Hope you're able to pinpoint the cause of the problem quickly.

Hi A.,
I recently saw a show on Dr. Phil about this...both sons in the family had that problem...it is a real problem...check out this website..

http://drphil.com/articles/article/533/

hope that helps..you're not the only one!

I'm sorry you are having trouble. We had a lot of problems too with our son. He did this at a younger age to us..around 3. At that time he couldn't rationalize or tell us and you obviously have a bit more of an advantage. My son did pee himself many times while in K but never did it at school.

Well one idea I have is to take him to a counseling center that specializes in kids. We found out our son is gifted and MANY MANY gifted kids have severe anxiety issues that other kids don't.

The other thing that in my personal opinion is NOT as fun, but true.... is that if he continues this at school peer pressure will help him stop. Of course depending on how long it takes that to kick in, it may not be pleasant.

I wish you the best. Sometimes there are issues that we can't phathom as adults but are so easily fixed once we find out what it is.

Blessings.
M.

I know that several people have suggested it might be related to the new baby, and you said that he is very excited about it. I have three kids, and the oldest is five. She had just turned four when our third was born. She absolutely adored the baby and had been excited every step of the way. She kissed her and hugged her and wanted to be with her all of the time. However, when the baby was about six weeks old our oldest started having some strange behavior problems. She screamed when I left her at school, and she had always loved school. She would not get dressed in the morning. She did some very strange things like repeating the word "backpack" over and over under her breath for no apparent reason and couldn't explain why she was doing it when asked. I was worried and went to a counselor myself. She told me that even when the older children in the family want and love the new baby it is stressful for them and they can have some strange reactions to the stress. She suggested letting it go, spending some extra time with her one-on-one, and waiting to see if it got better. It eventually did, and all is well now.

I'm not saying that this is not something you should ask the dr. about again, but that even when we as adults are looking forward to a good event, like the birth of a baby, it is stressful and can be difficult to deal with. Our kids must feel the same and, being less able to verbalize their feelings and deal with them, their stress can come out in some strange ways...and places!

Good luck!

My son, James, had a similar problem. The doctors call it encopresis. It can have many root causes, including the stress you suggested in your life. Remember, even good life changes (like the expected new arrival - congratulations to you and your husband!) can be stressful.

There was no physical disorder, but he had basically trained his brain to ignore the signal that it was time to poop. He really could not just stop the behavior. Ater it builds up for a couple days, some 'leaks out' (sometimes a lot!). Your son's doctor should be able to verify that there is no physical explanation for his behavior and then refer you for further help. We took James to the Cleveland Clinic and they were just wonderful. He saw a specialist and they also referred him to a psychologist, Dr. Banez, who really helped get James back on track. He still has relapses now and then, but the worst is definitely behind us. Dr. Banez taught James some excersizes and put him on a schedule to sit on the toilet after meals. He has also been on a prescription stool softener, which he is now beeing weaned off of. Patience is key throughout the whole process.

Please don't make the mistake we made and keep hoping this will go away by itself. Get some medical help, it will save your sanity.

Don't feel alone. Many parents go through this with their child. There is a medical condition called "encopresis". There is plenty of information on this available on the web and through your DR. as well. A wonderful site is www.keepkidshealthy.com . Hope this helps.

C.

Good morning, A.. If your son's dr. hasn't found anything wrong, it is definitly behavioral, but not necessarally spiteful. Did, by chance, this all start with the announcement of the new baby on the way? I can only suggest couciling. Many insurances cover this & there are programs based on income if you have no insurance. You may even qualify for assistance after some type of diagnosis (ie. general anxiety, preadolecent depression etc.). Find a phyc. you like & is willing to work with whatever situation you're in. Good Luck! M. J.

Your pregnancy can certainly be a trigger for him. Have you told your pediatrician? Who was he with in Canada? The pattern seems to be major transition and stress. Babies and living in a different country are a lot of stress on anyone, let alone a little boy. I would ask my pediatrician about it and make sure he can talk openly about his feelings and how everything is affecting HIM.

It sounds like the same thing I saw on Dr. Phil a while back, you might want to check out www.drphil.com. There were grown kids that were pooping their pants because they couldn't hold it. It actually is a real problem (these were teenagers that were doing it which just blows my mind)

A.,

Did this start happening when you found out that you were pregnant?
This might be his reaction to you having another baby. He may be feeling that now that you are having a "new" baby with your husband that he might be treated differently by your husband since he is not his biological son.

Just a thought.

Take care and God bless,
Mel

Are you sure that the reason he is giving you is the real reason? Maybe he's having some anxiety over the new baby and it's and his place in the family..And maybe he's feeling like the new baby will replace him since that baby will belong to both you and your husband..I don't necessary think that punishing him is the answer..Has he been checked by a doc to make sure he doesn't have anything physically wrong with him?

Hi A.;

I can remember my mother having a friend whose son did the exact same thing. My mother's friend thought her son was lazy and thats why he kept going to the bathroom in his pants. She finally decided to take him the to the doctor to find out what was going on. Well, it ended up being something medically wrong with him. I would call your doctor and find out from them if you should bring your son in to take a look at him. The doctor could find out if something is wrong or not and will be able to help you with suggestions. Hang in there and good luck!!!!

Hi A., I just saw your request and hope you see this, I just watched a show on tv about that, ask your doctor to check his gall bladder checked. (for an enzyme that helps with the bowels, producing to much or not enough)

L.

Have you called his doctor? If nothing is physically wrong, there may be something emotionally wrong. Your doctor could refer you to a counselor. Even though you feel that everything is normal at home, there may be something going on with him either at home or at school that you are not aware of. This must be really difficult for you. Maybe your doctor can help. Good luck.

I don't really have any advice other than a doctor's visit to make sure he is physically ok and perhaps a counseling visit for the mental part of knowing right from wrong and realizing he has to go.
The main thing I got from your post is that you are expecting a child in November. This is a very new thing for him, to see mommy's belly grow, to see you getting ready for the baby and talking about it. This change alone could have sparked this new setback. Things aren't exactly normal for him right now, even tho your husband is at home!!!
I just know with my kids, the littlest thing can affect them physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally and I always have to really dig deep to find the change in the patterns of them!!
I wish you the best!!!!!!!!