I Do Not, as a Rule, Read the Mamapedia 'Voices' Articles. Do You?

I don't generally read them - I find them poorly written and unjustifiably opinionated. Why did this one catch your eye? Did you have a particular connection or thoughts about it? I haven't read the article, but I've never been separated or divorced and don't come from divorced parents, either, so I wouldn't have an opinion about its accuracy. What are YOUR thoughts?

ETA: I will say, if you've ever noticed any of my responses, I rarely care what others think of our family's decisions. If your divorce was better for your kids than your staying together, then it was best. I would put zero credibility to anything written in a blog.

I'm not a big blog reader in general, and I very rarely read them, the mmp ones included. For the most part it seems like people that write them have an inflated sense of self-importance and have to write about the insightful, hip decisions they've made in their life. But many times it ends up sounding like they're trying to convince us how great it was, or themselves possibly....sorry to sound rude I just don't really care. We're all doing the best we can, we all have reasons for what we do or don't do.

I found something troubling in the last paragraph of the article, where the author states that she and her husband 'don't fight in front of the kids'. Well, if you don't do it in front of the kids, when *does* it happen? I'm not condoning fighting, but I am all for being realistic with our children. People disagree with each other, it happens-- we can love someone and be angry with them and we can also show our kids that we do solve the problems in healthy ways. It's the whole preservation of the 'appearance' of family which is far more detrimental to the kids than the reality of two parents who don't love each other any more.

The problem with the 'broken home' concept is that people who use the phrase seem to think Ozzie and Harriet got divorced and the perfect little happy fantasy family can never be happy again.
Total BS.
If the home ain't happy - it NEEDS to be broken.
Good parents are the ideal but no mother (or father) is preferable to abusive/dysfunctional/just-plain-nuts mom or dad.
And some women can't get past this - they'll settle for ANY man because in their minds it's better than NO man.
The kids suffer horribly from this sort of thinking.

Not fighting in front of the kids?
It depends.
If your fighting style involved flinging the dishes/pots/pans at each other - then don't let the kids see it.
It's never a good idea to pass dysfunctional on to the next generation.

Kids need to learn about conflict resolution - and if their parents can have a civil disagreement, talk (maybe shout a little) with out name calling or belittling each other or holding the kids hostage and resolve their issue in a mature manner - then the kids SHOULD SEE THIS - because they need to learn how to do this themselves someday.

Weird article. To me it sounded like the author had unresolved issues about her childhood. Her dad sounds like he had depression and checked out. Mom sounded like she was into drama. They basically ignored their children. I think dysfunctional rather than broken.
I think even had they divorced the parents were messed.
I don't find those articles interesting in general because I find they are so skewed.

i only read 'em if the title interests me. i did actually read this one.
i didn't think it was a particularly great article, but i agree with the overall premise, and with yours. many many times it's better for a crappy family dynamic to be dismantled.
khairete
S.