Yes, he can change if he wants to. He's been this way for all of his life and it will take time for him to learn new ways of talking to people. His words and tone of voice are the visible signs of the way he feels. So, he'll also need to work on recognizing, accepting, and changing the way he feels. He will need your support as he makes these changes.
You need to be in counseling so that you can learn how to deal with the way you feel about him. It's very understandable that you'd feel hurt, angry and unwilling to forgive after 10 years of living with this. And you can also change the way you feel and thus the way you react to him.
Both of you need to be in counseling so that both of you can learn how to learn a different way of interacting with each other.
While in my twenties I learned that often people perceived me to be critical and angry. After several months of counseling I could also recognize those traits in myself. Even tho I didn't intend to be expressing anger I could see how my tone of voice and choice of words was expressing anger. Over several months I was able to gradually change my way of interacting with people. It has taken me several years to be able to be consistent in my use of positive words rather than the negative ones I learned as a child.
The first counselor asked me to read a book on co-dependency by Gay Hendricks, which helped me to realize that I was dependent on other people and angry that they let me down. I had unreasonable expectations along with anger at the way my parent's had treated me. Their intentions were good. They were unaware of their own anger at life and how it affected me. Gradually, I was able to let go of my anger which directly affected my tone of voice and choice of words.