Hypersensitive Almost 3 Year Old Daughter

Updated on January 29, 2010
K.K. asks from La Vergne, TN
10 answers

I feel like I should know what's going on, but I don't. My 2 1/2 year old daughter (3 in March) has become extremely emotional. She's always been sensitive (cries at "sad" music since before she was one), but this just seems rediculous. If she doesn't get her way, she cries, if we tell her no or even not now, she cries, if I try to talk to her about her reactions, she cries. She cries at EVERYTHING! It's driving me crazy! And now, just the last week she has decided she doesn't want to go to sleep at bedtime. She says she's not sleepy or she needs me. We have a good schedule, she still takes naps, her older brother is 5 and the new baby is 3 months old. Could this just be a reaction to the baby a little late? She doesn't act jealous and I try to give equal attention to her and her brother since I'm nursing and the baby takes up a bit more of my time. This just doesn't seem right. Do I just stick with the time outs? Is this normal girl behavior for this age? Is there something else going on?

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Could just be terrible 3's, however my first is highly sensitive. It is a trait from birth however and not something that just comes on at a certain age. Check out "The highly sensitive child" by Elaine Aron. There is a list of about 21 questions in the front and for my child 19 were "yes". I am highly sensitive myself, physically and emotionally, so I recognized her behavior immediately.
http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Ove...
Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.C.

answers from Huntington on

My daughter has been crying at everything since she was around three, is now four. I've just been dealing with it, time-outs, earlier bed times, anything I can think of to try to keep her from doing it. I've had some other mom's tell me it's just how girls are. My daughter started this a year before my now 4 month old son arrived. I'm not saying it isn't linked to the new baby for you, but it's not in my case.

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K.D.

answers from Raleigh on

Wow, maybe she will be a great writer or artist someday! I wanted to share that red food coloring makes my son hyper emotional and we figured this out at the age of 2. Also, chocolate did it too. Now that he is 17, it doesn't seem to affect him so much. He would start crying though at the drop of a hat and if I hadn't figured it out I would have gone crazy. lol Check the ingredients on your foods and try to go a few days without food colorings and see if it helps. If it does, then try to just avoid red and see if it still helps. Good luck.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I suspect she might be attention seeking. But 3 is WAY worse than 2! I'd stick to the house rules and consequences you have in place. Liste to your gut. Moms know when they're being "played"!

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K.H.

answers from Huntington on

I don't have any true advice, but I feel your pain. My 6yo boy has always been more sensitive, which has it's adorable moments, but can be very annoying at other times. Poor little one (and you!)- when you think of it, she's experiencing a 'perfect storm' right now that may be heightening her natural tendencies toward sensitivity...middle child, 'terrible 3's' (way worse than 2!!), new baby...

Good luck to you!!

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L.D.

answers from Raleigh on

She indeed may be a sensitive child but she also realizes her crying gets your attention. It definitely is tied to the baby. Take note of her not wanting to nap because she "needs" you. She is telling you she misses the attention she used to get. Children will take negative attention over no attention. Her response is typical for an almost 3 year old because she doesn't have the words or concepts to tell you. Make sure you are spending one-on-one time with her doing something you only do with her. Tie it to her learning a new way of responding when she is upset. I did this with my son when I went back to school and he had to compete with tests and papers. I would maintain the family rules while acknowledging her feelings. Good luck.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

It could be a jealous reaction to the new baby but it could just be to get her own way. My son has started a crying fit lately and usually we give in just not to hear him cry. We have since started walking away and telling him that when he can act like a big boy, we will listen to him. I would try telling her that you will no longer listen to her cry for no reason unless she is sick or hurt. Tell her that the next time she throws a fit or cries over nothing, you will walk away and ignore her until she can act like a big girl. You will only listen to her when she speaks like a big girl. Then follow through and walk away when she acts this way. Reiterate while you are walking away that you will listen to her when she acts like a big girl and does not cry. Hopefully this will help

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J.W.

answers from Lexington on

Many things can cause a child to be hypersensitive including sleep disturbances/not getting enough sleep, and another biggie - allergies. Of course, the problem can be psychological/emotional, but other things may be a problem. You might want to look at www.itsnotmental.com

T.G.

answers from Fayetteville on

Not sure what it is bed my 4 year old being doing that lately. Some days he cry all day. I was concern so I made an appointment with specialist and she talk with him. She said he was fine. So I got the book called The 5 love language. Great book and I think it's helping. I have to keep his love tank full. First the book explain how to find out which love language is for your child. Which kids will change and to keep it full. Now I open a child care and this will help me with other children to look for there love language and help there parents keep it full. Mathias love language is words of affirmation. That's his primary. His second is quality time.

I will keep you in my prayer. Rearing children is not easy but trust yourself to know your doing a great job. Keep smiling.

B.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

Sounds to me like it is her temperament. She might be very sensitive. And yes the baby could be adding to her outbursts. That being said, she will need skills to cope with situations without breaking down and that is where you come in. Sympathize.."I know you would like to go outside but right now I cannot do that but you can choose to play with your tea set or your cars." If she is still upset you can say, " I see that you are upset and that is O.K. When you are ready to talk about it let me know and we can find a way to make you feel better/solve this problem/come up with a solution. Your daughter may learn to step away for a bit, be sad, then deal with the situation. All in all be sensitive but you do not have to give in. If her emotions get loud tell her that she can be upset but if she chooses to be so loud she needs to find an alone place like maybe her room to be sad and loud because it is hurting your ears. If she would like to be sad quietly ( quietly not silently) she may stay where she is. Sometimes we all just need to step away to deal with our emotions. As for sleeping, you cannot MAKE someone sleep but you can have her stay in her room. Maybe she can read books or listen to music or books on tape. Let her know that she does not have to sleep but she must stay in her room until what ever time is decided. She will most likely fall asleep anyway so no worries.

B. Davis
Child And Family Coaching
http://www.ChildAndFamilyCoaching.com

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