When my husband and I make plans for anything to do with his family, he has to know step by step detail of times. His dad is watching our son while we Christmas shop for our family. We are stopping by his aunt and uncle on our way and he's asking me if we should go to lunch with his dad and our son. I told him I'd rather go out to eat with him alone because we never have that opportunity. It will be harder to leave our son if we do that too. His dad will be with us the day before at our children's holiday concert so we will visit with him. I said we will eat before we leave to go to your relatives house and we will stay about an hour and then head to your dad's and if he gets hungry on the way we can stop at McDonalds and get him something. His dad wakes up very early and probably eats lunch before we even get there. I like to plan things out such as what time I'm leaving the house and where I'm going but to try to plan in between is hard when you're going to someone else's house first. I feel like he's writing step by step down and I just want us to go enjoy ourselves because it won't happen for a very long time again. How do I get past this? I try to explain to him what this does to me and he gets insulted no matter how I say it.
My family is always late too and I am usually always on time.
Let him make his schedule, he'll soon learn that they generally dont work as planned. If it amuses him to do it dont dog him about it, just smile when the wrench gets tossed in to the "fool proof plan". He'll be relying on you to have plan "b" ready to go..... and that my dear is what women are good at ;)
Tell him you'd really like to "fly by the seat of your collective pants that day between abc and xyz o'clock," when your son will be safely with Pappy! Tell him he just needs to be ready by Z:00 time and have keys and cash in hand!
Seems like his family runs on a clock and you have to adjust to that when it is time spent with them ... I am an on time kind of person and my in laws run 30 min late at all times (except to work).
Having to plan is great it leaves time for unexpected things to pop up & having a time frame is good becasue you know you can't do it all at once.His dad might have other plans for that day & needs to know that his grandchild will be gone so for he can go on with his day.Goingh to eat alone is a great idea.Does he feel overwhelmed that there is to much going on for this day of activites?I know when things are like this here at my home I get mad then I have a grumpy attitude the whole time sometimes we just don't know when to shut up & enjoy ourselves
I read your question and thought of my own father, who used to write out a step-by-step itinerary for a planned trip and send a copy to everyone in the family - even people who weren't going on the trip and didn't know a thing about it!
I really think some people are wired this way. They don't just want their ducks in a row; they want them lined up so straight you can shine a laser beam across them and they measure up exactly!
You're going to have to hold on to your sense of humor with him. He's probably very worried that something will go wrong for lack of planning. Let him plan as much as possible, but let him know it might not be able to work out the way it's planned. If the means he has to make a plan b and a plan c, well, maybe he'll have fun doing that. Meanwhile, think of contingency plans yourself to suggest at the right time, so he won't feel stranded. Keep smiling!
The guy can't help it. Look for the funny parts of this and write them down because these are going to be great Grandpa stories for the next generation. :^)
You have a great marriage if that's your biggest worry ; )
