J.B.
My advice is...do what you can with what you have to do it with. That's been my motto for years, and it seems to be applicable in daily life and in various situations. If anything has to be done, I do it. When my husband was having to have surgeries every year and needed injections, I did it. Does the housework get done, not so much! Do I go out to meet friends and pursue personal interests? You betcha! One of his surgeons suggested a pain management clinic a few years ago, so I drove him 1 hr there, stayed for the various sessions, then an hour back, three times a week for 8 weeks. Not so helpful, but we tried. A., you need to let his pain belong to him and take care of yourself in order to be strong for the family. When he can't participate in family things, let it go and go on ahead without him. He feels bad enough without feeling guilty for having spoiled your (including the kids') fun. Be sure to include him in whatever is going on so he doesn't feel more isolated than he already does. The children need their father so don't keep them from him, thinking to "protect" him--he needs them as well and needs to be needed!
May God bless you!