Husband Wants to Take Training Wheels off of 3 Yr Old Bike

I know many kids who could ride on two wheels (no training wheels) at age 3. How about a compromise? The training wheels stay on the bigger bike and come off the smaller bike. If he can master the smaller, safer bike, he can move up to the bigger bike when he's ready.

I personally would wait until he's at least 4 years old. I do not see how a 3 year old is "ready" to ride a two wheeler, with or without trainers.

Well, my oldest ditched training wheels before age 4. The other two were much later. So it's not unheard of.

But IMO the reason he feels he has to 'go behind your back' may be because he feels he is not allowed a say in parenting decisions. For example, 'trying to hide that he is going to take *my* son's training wheels off.'

I guess I don't really understand why he can't try it, then put them back on when it turns out you're right (of course), it's not time.

:)

I've seen 3 yr olds do it, mine were 4 tho.
Maybe Dad sees something you don't?

Age has nothing to do with when you take training wheels off, it is all about ability. You seem to have glossed over ability.

If he is trying to be a little daredevil then training wheels actually make it more dangerous to ride.

Sorry but just based on the little information you have put here I believe your husband is right.

I love all the comments about him doing it behind his back. Really so none of the women throwing that one about have ever gone shopping and perhaps only showed one of the four receipts? You have never done a darn thing when he wasn't around and just hoped after seeing you were successful you then let him know? So we are perfect and he is deceitful?

He was trying to rush you so he had the most amount of time to take the damn wheels off, see if he could teach him and if the boy wasn't ready could put them back on before your slightly overprotective self got home. Pretty sure if the boy could do it you would have come home to both of them with boyish grins on their faces. He wasn't hiding, he just didn't want you to see them fail.

My ex-husband was in charge of teaching my daughter to ride a bike, just a dad thing we felt and it was very important to him. I watched sometimes but that was one "their" things to do together. My daughter had the training wheels removed at three as well and did just fine. I trusted his decision, he obviously cares for his daughter and is a great dad.

I don't think your husband should have to go behind your back but should be able to make a decision based on your son's ability. I certainly don't think a punishment for your husband or an argument is in order.

I'm sorry, I don't see why you're so upset about this. They're training wheels-it's not like your husband is trying to make him cook his own dinner, scrub a toilet or repair the roof-it's a milestone in every child's life. You take them off and teach him to ride. If it doesn't go well, you put the training wheels back on. My daughter just figured out her tricycle at 3, but some kids are flying around on big-kid bikes sans training wheels at this age. Relax and let your son try it on his own.

Let me guess, this is your first child. I am saying that because I am the mom of 3 and I was most cautious with my eldest but by my youngest I am more laid back.

Now to your question, let this be something with Daddy/Son...he may just see something that you don't (sometimes it is easier for Daddy - or others - to see kids growup more so than Mommy - I know that from my own experience). If your little one gets cuts/scrapes/bumps - let Daddy take care of it, because he will :)

I know a few kids who rode bikes at 3 w/o training wheels and I know 7yo who still need them...each child is different.

My middle child wanted her wheels off at three and a half, after watching her brother do it at five. She did fine, and she was so proud!
Moms often have a harder times than dads with these kinds of things. Don't put your husband in a position where he feels like he needs to hide things from you. He deserves to have some say in this too, and if your son loves to ride, why hold him back?

So... Let me get this straight... Your husband, who is your sons father, wants to take the training wheels off his sons bike...

maybe I am missing something, if he can't ride it, I'm pretty sure the training wheels will go back on. You don't even want him to try....

if this was only your child and this was like a cousin, or uncle, then maybe, but this is his child, a boy at that...
50/50

And the whole thing about being behind your back..
No, he knew you didn't want him to, so he just thought it would be best to do it when you weren't home.. Its not behind your back, its called avoiding a dumb argument...

I don't think the main issue is whether or not your 3 year-old is ready to ride a two-wheeler. I'd be more concerned about the "behind my back" as the taking off of the training wheels. What is preventing the two of you from talking about this? Are you allowing him to state his case, and is he listening to yours? What is the best/worst that could happen? What importance do each of you have tied up in this? Is this the way decisions are made in your marriage in other areas?

None of my three kids were at all able to ride without training wheels at age 3, they were all 6 or 7 before they were able. I have seen neighbor kids riding by age 4, so it's not physically impossible for some kids. Still, I don't think this is the main issue here.

Based on the information you've given, I say let him take the training wheels off. I have one kid who was riding without training wheels at age 3. I have two that were riding without training wheels at age 4.

If he's wearing a helmet and dad is supervising, what's the big deal? He's going to get some scrapes, but he'll be fine. Why are you so opposed to it? Because he's three and you don't want him growing up?

I'd be more concerned that your husband did it behind your back. Explain to him your reasoning. Listen to his reasoning and have an open mind. Take the wheels off and let the boy try it. If after a day or two he's getting frustrated and really doesn't seem ready, put them back on.

This isn't really about him being 3 on a bike (I'm actually of the opinion that training wheels make bikes MORE dangerous for little kids... my son rode a two-wheeler at three, with the seat low enough that he could easily put is feet down if he wanted to so he never tipped over). However, I'd be concerned about your husband doing things with your son behind your back!

The two of you need to agree about what you will and won't let your son do. The two of you should TALK about what you want for your son and get on the same page not try to impose your will on each other. And that goes both ways. You need to listen to his reasoning as much as he needs to listen to yours.

HTH
T.

I know a lot of 3-year-olds who can ride a two-wheeler without training wheels, but almost all of them used those balance bikes (the ones without pedals) first.

The issue to me isn't that your husband is taking off your son's training wheels, it is that he is doing it behind your back when he knows that it's going to upset you. That's what would anger me the most about this situation. At the same time, I guess I don't really understand your objection to it? Of course your son doesn't "need" to ride his bike without training wheels now, but what difference does it make if he does? Once he learns how to do it, he's not any more likely to get hurt without training wheels as he is with them. If your husband wants to take the lead in teaching him to ride on two wheels, why not let him?

to learn to ride without the wheels.. he has to practice.. so if you take them off and let him try for a few days .. he might be able to do it.. if he cannot do it yet .. put the training wheels back on.. no big deal . my son learned to ride at 4 we took off the wheels steadied him... and he was off straight as an arrow..

try it but be ready to put them back on.

I too would be more upset about it being behind my back...that being said, my son was a hair over three when he rode my daughter's (age 5) two wheeler without training wheels. He did not ever use one of those balancing bikes...he just saw her learning to do it...and wanted to. He picked it up before she did. I would follow your sons lead on this - don't make it a battle of what Mom wants or what Dad wants.

What would I have done? First I would have laughed at my husband! If he's not physically ready to ride w/o training wheels, it's not gonna happen.
Later we would be having a serious discussion about doing things behind my back.
If indeed your son *is* physically ready to ride on 2 wheels then I don't think you should stop him. However I would limit him to riding in the park on on a bike trail until you are sure he is aware of cars, and of course, he should be wearing safety gear.

Last year on my granddaughters birthday she raced at a somewhat local BMX track. Her BFF was with her and they usually come in 1st and 2nd or 2nd and 3rd. One week it would be one beating the other then next it would be the other way around.

The BFF wanted my granddaughter to win since it was her birthday. There were 4 kids in this age group and the girls were 2nd and 3rd. The BFF was meandering on the track, making sure my granddaughter would be a strong 2nd. She fell on one of the berms and the little boy who was coming in last actually got ahead of her while she was down. Once she got back up she started racing strongly again. She caught up to the little boy just as they went over the finish line.

Racer 1 was 1st, my granddaughter was 2nd, the little boy was 3rd, and the BFF was 4th. Needless to say, she was brokenhearted because she didn't get a trophy and she had had such a good plan.

The point of my telling you this story is the little boy who came in 3rd. It was his very first race and he did not even expect to win a trophy at all.

He was 3. Racing his bike on a regulation BMX track. He was ecstatic!

He had been riding his bike without training wheels for just over 1 month. So yes, it is possible that your son can do it. All it takes it letting him try. He's not going to get hurt or anything more than an owie or two.

If he can't do it after a day or two talk to hubby about putting them back on but seriously, even if they are not on he can use it as a balance bike and he will be riding it soon without the training wheels.
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It is probably because you were upset when you posted the question but my first reaction to your question was to tell you that perhaps you needed to learn to respect your husbands wishes with HIS son and stop bossing them around.

Knowing that things get said incorrectly when we are angry I was able to say things differently. Perhaps you and hubby need to take a breath and talk about respecting each other and one not being subservient to the other in any matter....

I have know several three year olds who could ride without training wheels. However, I think it is INSANE to ALLOW them to, because they do not have the maturity, fine motor skills, or proper judgment to handle a situation should one arise. Even my seven year old, who had hers off at six, had a serious bike accident because of simple lack of judgment and lack of the fine motor skills required to navigate a dangerous situation.

If the wheels don't go back on, I'd get rid of the bike altogether or lock it up and hide the key. Who cares if you ruffle some feathers? Safety first. Good for you!

I know 3 year olds who are skate boarding on large ramps! I'm sure if you let your son ride his bike with out training wheels, he will do just fine. Make sure he is wearing a helmet. He will fall at first (normal when learning to ride a bike) but he will catch on pretty quickly and do just fine. My daughter is now 7 and she still can't ride her bike. We took the training wheels off over a year ago and I think we waited too late because now she is too scared to ride it. She just kind of scoots it with her feet and won't actually take off and pedal. I wish we did it when she was a lot younger so she wouldn't be so scared of it.

totally understand where you are coming from. My oldest can and has ridden a two wheeler with training wheels since he was 3yrs. He if fully capable physically, but those first 6 months I only allowed him to in our backyard or at a local park on the basketball court. He was obviously coordinated enough to do so, but his street smarts and judgement on safety just was not there yet. My 2nd son, at 2.5 yrs is fully capable of also riding a two wheeler, I have him on a balance bike and he is a horribly scary dare devil. My hubby keeps on insisting we go ahead and just get a regular bike now. I'm adamantly opposed, he is just not 'ready' to SAFELY ride yet. As it is on his balance bike there are often times he's looking every which way but directly in front of him, and then plowing into whoever is in front of him.

Maybe if you just explain to your husband what your true concerns are, and that you'd be willing to try in a few months when your son is more capable of making safety decisions or when you can trust your husband to watch him carefully when he is riding......

My 22 year old was riding a bike without training wheels at 3. It took a few times running by his side but it was exciting for him. Just allow your husband to try and if after an hour of trying your soon isn't able to get the hang of it...put the training wheels back on.

My oldest soon was walking at 6 months old!!!

classic husband thing to do! i'm sorry. why cant men just let kids be kids. what up with all the "must do everything first". what is the rush? such a caveman thing to do. tell our husband he's wrong and to get a grip. haha

U will never know unless u let him try. That's like saying u weren't ready for kids.

Although it is certainly possible to ride a 2 wheeler just by itself at 3, it is pretty uncommon. Most kids do not have the strength, coordination, or momentum to keep a bike going and not tip over. Did you husband take them off to maybe curtail your son from riding too fast? Since he is a dare devil, it sounds like he will hurt himself either way and everyone needs to really have better communication.

My friend's son could ride a bike without training wheels at age 3. They had a tiny balance bike that he learned on and he got very good very fast. Can you get your son a small balance bike to practice on instead of a bike that is too big for him?

Yes, I would be mad about the behind your back way of doing it. I have big doubts about a 3 year old with no training wheels--I've never seen kid that age with good enough balance but maybe it is possible. My kids at 3 were still learning on a tricycle. I've seen a 4.5 or 5 year old on a bike without training wheels though.

I agree, 3 is too young, most kids can't manage it until 5 or 6. I mean, maybe he could, and maybe you could just let hubby try to handle it, and let him realize for himself that your son may not be ready. Otherwise hubby just thinks you are being a worry-wart. Hopefully he would be right there to catch your son as he tips over.

But I'd be more upset that he tried to do it behind your back and I think that is more the issue than whether or not the training wheels come off - you need to have a serious talk with hubby, about respecting your wishes and understanding that in this case, what you say goes. You need to be able to trust him with your son, not worry about what is going to happen when you are not around.

Really, what is he thinking? That somehow he should be riding a bike without training wheels? What's the big rush?