Husband to Take a Trip with Our Daughter, a Female Coworker and Her Daughter

Holy sh***...... Hope that says it all!!!!!! He did not want you to go because this was planned ahead of time. Not in a million years would this be ok. He would find his belongings on the lawn.

TOTALLY inappropriate! Why wouldn't he tell you all of this upfront? Where there's smoke, there's fire! I would have a MAJOR problem with this!

In my opinion, yes, it could be okay and harmless. Especially when she has her kid with her.

I've been the other woman (once, a long time ago), AND I've been the one screwed around on, so I've been on both sides, and I still think it is probably harmless.

I agree with Jo.

Oh. Hell. No.

In other words, not okay EVER. He left his actual family at home under the guise of spending time with his biological daughter and yet he flew down with a female coworker and her daughter. He stayed in the same hotel (same room?), spent all activities together as a family would, and they rented a car together. That's an awful lot of time together. Plus he allowed her to bathe your SEVEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER? She was bathed by a stranger (aka someone your daughter nor you knows). My 7 year old bathes herself, for frame of reference on my incredulity meter, not to mention HELLO he allowed a STRANGER to the family to bathe his daughter. A woman whom he chose over his wife and two step-daughters to bring on this trip. And he did all of this in SECRET?

Hell to the no. And triple on Sunday.

EDIT: I'm not one to automatically jump to "he's cheating" but the red flags here are waving with big, flashy lights and I'm absolutely shocked at the responses that this isn't worrying. He spent FIVE DAYS playing house with another woman and her daughter. Maybe no sexual intimacy occurred on THIS trip, but anything goes after kids are asleep. Anything can be explained away to a 7 year old especially if you haven't had the sex talk with them yet. My guess is that you only knew about what happened because your daughter was there and told you/would have told you and your husband had no choice but to come up with a story that sounded plausible. Except it's not.

Don't allow him to minimize how you feel about this. You're not overreacting. That's what cheaters say in order to shift attention and blame.

EDIT AGAIN: This doesn't sound like a business trip at all. The OP stated that he travels frequently to the city they plan on moving to, and HE planned a trip with their daughter. Not his employer, HIM. And that HE planned for the female coworker and her child to accompany them. HE accommodated this other woman and her child so that the OP's daughter would have a playmate while her husband and this woman were on this trip together. Not a business trip. A trip that the husband planned so he could supposedly spend time with his bio-daughter. If that's what he had actually done, there wouldn't be a problem. Instead he planned this elaborate trip and lied about it, and the OP only found out because her daughter told her about it.

There are a lot of questions that I have back for you, but WHAT is a 7 year old doing taking a bath and on top of that needing to be assisted whilst? ONLY me or my husband gives our girls (3 and 5 and when they were younger) baths. The 5 year old is learning to shower now... on her own. and our 7 and 8 year olds have been taking showers on their own since kindergarten.

The fact that you found that the co-worker was so involved AFTER the fact is the weirdest part of all.

...and it's FUNNY how "she needed a playmate" when her sisters COULD have come, too... but he wanted just time with the 7 year old... but yet he didn't get alone time with her... CONFLICTING :\

I can understand wanting one on one time with his daughter.

But the red flags went up with the co worker being a part of all of it. The main one being she bathed your daughter. Obviously she is extremely comfortable with YOUR husband to do that. There is no way I would wash anyones child who I was just a coworkers with. Why is she in the same hotel room when your daughter is taking a bath? At 7 she is old enough to bathe herself. She didn't need any help. I would be pissed someone else was touching my naked daughter!!

To me what I see here is he took his daughter with him on a mini vacation with someone who he is interested with and wants to see how they get along. He may be looking for more from here and wanted to test the waters first by seeing how the kids would get along before taking any steps farther.

If he wanted a playmate for his daughter then he would have taken you and your daughters. To me that was a very lame excuse!! I hope your not falling for it.

Im sorry but this sounds way more than a harmless trip, its even more sad he included your daughter in his sneakiness.

Plus there is a huge trust issue going on here.. there is no way in the world that this should not have been told about it when 'they" there planning it. Same time, same flight, same hotel... they planned it and left you out of it 100%. He knew you would find out, he knew your daughter was going to tell you... but he didn't care. Because once it was done what could you really do about it? What I would do about it is give him the choice of counseling or divorce lawyer. To me that is crossing a huge line that I don't think I could get past.

To me looking in from the outside, it looks like a husband and wife took their 2 kids to the city together, and played house. I am sorry, I would be seeking out counseling before he could even spin his head. If I ever found out my husband pulled such a stunt, you best be believing he would be sleeping on the couch for a month or more. I saw red flags in your posting when he said he wasn't taking your other 2 kids with him... and you either. NOT FAIR, NO THANK YOU! It would be different if he were taking a teenage daughter for a father/daughter bonding weekend. And btw, Where were the kids while they were working? I am sure they don't have onsite daycare???

I would be reaming him out...He's a married man, and you don't do that with other married/single people once you tie the knot. Innocent or not!!!

I work in technical laboratory sales and work with quite a few male account managers. I know all of their wives and they don't care that we work together all day and have lunches and dinners. They will even call me at night to gather information (I'm their specialist), no big deal. We also have sales meetings where we are included in group activities: Angels games, dinners and yacht brunches.

It sounds like they are already home. I would have been on the first flight out if they were not. What else does your daughter say? Did they sleep together? Was everything planned together?

I'm all for different gender colleagues being friends and absolutely believe that men and women can work together (professionals do this) but this WAY crosses the line. This doesn't sound like a work trip, it was a vacation. Strange to take two seven year olds but they have probably had many solo trips and this was the "family" dress rehearsal.

This wouldn't fly with me!!

I think its very considerate for your husband to get a playmate for your daughter while he is playing with his own playmate. If this is for real, this is a hot mess and your marriage is in trouble. No, this is not harmless. Good luck.

Inappropriate. Doesn't want you along or the other kids but takes a coworker and one daughter? Not kosher. I'd be rethinking the move altogether. Of course he is going to say overreacting because that is a mans response whether we are or not.

Based on what you wrote your husband and his coworker seem to have zero moral compass. Let's assume your husband is dense ( but really, I would save your money on a private investigator, he is a cheating on you). Why on earth would a woman go on vacation with a man unless she was interested in him?

He ditched you to be with his co-worker. He did not spend quality time alone with his daughter as he said, instead he spend it with another woman and her child. The woman should have been you and the child/children should have been your girls. You did state you requested to go several times.

Yes, they were "playing house" as some have put it. Sorry, but I've been the other woman. Get to counseling right now and see if the two of you can figure this out, or what. This needs to figured out before you pack up your life and your childrens and move to a new city for his job.

I agree that the problem lies with the fact that he didn't tell you that they *basically* planned the whole trip together, which is odd, IMO...the plane, the car, the hotel...all that needs planning and coordination so your husband KNEW about it and said nothing to you...this is beyond ODD to me. Something is amiss!

He said he invited the co-worker and her daughter so your daughter would have a playmate? Wouldn't her 2 stepsisters been playmates??? Something is seriously amiss here!

While there may be no physical affair yet, I think his intentions are suspect. Seriously, what kind of woman agrees to all of this together traveling with a married man? I'm sorry, but if this was a business-only thing, then why are the kids along? If it was supposed to be a fun-for-the-kids trip, why didn't the other kids and you get to come? (that is very hurtful, by the way) If it was for one-on-one bonding, why did he plan to be along with these other people so much? And he didn't even mention his plans to be spending all this time with this woman and her 7 year old, hmmmm.

It doesn't make sense. I agree with Rebecca B. While I'd be tempted to call him out on how hurtful and disrespectful this planned trip of his was, you may want to play it cool but be following his moves very carefully and snoop out to see if there is anything more between him and this woman now and/or in the future. In fact, I'd be tempted to make my own arrangements to fly out to this city after he does during one his business trips to "surprise" him and see for yourself.

Does not sound right to me.
I can't picture myself giving a co workers kid a bath, sorry.

Umm, HELL no. Red flags everywhere.

I 100% agree with Jessica. This is so far beyond NOT okay. He has crossed so many lines here I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I hope you're a more level-headed lady than me, because I'd be postal right about now.

not cool at all!!!!!

He should have mentioned it before, but he didnt because he knew you wouldnt allow it. whether you would be right not to allow it is a completely seperate issue. He didnt care it would hurt your feelings and was sneaky to get his own way.
Why did your 7 year old need to be bathed by her??
and my daughter would NEVER get left out of a trip like that by a step dad....i mean its fine to have one on one timewith each kid...but a whole trip excluding them is WRONG!

sorry i feel like kicking him for you

i only saw something like this happen once it was my ex sil who did the same exact thing but with a guy and his kids...yup she was cheating!

Okay, can we be rational? If someone is going to have an affair, play house, they are not going to bring two seven year olds with them! Come on, you would have to be from another planet to not know that a seven year old girl cannot keep her mouth shut!

I think you are hurt because your girls were left out and you are reading way too much into this. I think he was silly not to make it a family trip but I don't think it was a love nest either.

I would be pissed about the step kids being left out but I wouldn't morph that into an affair.

If there was nothing to hide and he thought everything was on the up and up, then he should have mentioned all of this to you BEFORE the trip wouldn't he? Something stinks here. I would be beyond upset if this were my husband and there's no reason why a woman you've never met (or any woman) should be bathing your daughter.

I also would not be bothered that he took only his one daughter.

But I agree, the co-worker issues crossed some boundaries... she gave your 7 yr old daughter a bath? That is beyond inappropriate. Did they actually stay in the same hotel room? What were they even doing in the same hotel room? I would be livid.

My husband travels for work very frequently, sometimes we go with him. He goes out to eat with his coworkers sometimes... but he keeps it extremely hands-off and professional with his female coworkers.

I haven't read the other responses, but if it's as you described it, I would absolutely not be happy with that, and I don't think my husband would be happy if I traveled with another man and our kids. For him to discount your feelings does not speak well for him. Could it be okay? I suppose, but not in my world.

Ahh HELL NO, I would almost want to fly there and see for myself just exactly what the hell is going on. Why did his colleague need to go too? Was this just a fun trip without work, if so I dont see why she needed to go. And to leave you and the other girls out, NOT OK. Not telling you before hand that she was going NOT OK! Her bathing YOUR child NOT OK! Are you picking up your husband and daughter at the airport? If it isnt already planned for you to be there I think I would get someone to watch my other childrensn and show up anyways and see what their relationship seems like as they come into the terminal! GOOD LUCK!!!

If the coworker had been:

Already scheduled for BUSINESS travel to the same city at the same time separate from and unrelated to his trip

Already planning to bring her child unrelated to and separate from his own decision to bring your daughter

Then it might have been dandy IF the arrangement had been along the lines of "Sally and Jenny will be there the same week; that would be so good for Daughter and it will give her a playmate if see them a few times." The huge part of the IF would be that you would have known all the details way ahead of time and been OK with Sally Coworker.

And the other huge part would have been IF he'd had some real reason to push for alone time with Daughter; have they been having issues? Is Daughter having some difficulties adjusting to the idea of the move -- maybe more difficulties than her sisters are having? Do he and Daughter have any other issues that could have been helped by a dad-kid trip, or are they especially close? If any of that were the case, I could see his taking Daughter on a trip alone. But the addition of Coworker -- if his goal was to have one on one time with Daughter -- is strange. Why feel he needed someone else along to help entertain Daughter if his goal was to spend time with Daughter himself? Unless maybe he was going to be working part of the time and had to find something to do with Daughter in that time?

But you say he "plannned a trip" for himself and daughter, and I have the impression that this was not another business trip to the city but purely vacation time. If that's the case he is way off base here. If he was doing some work, he is still off base not to have communicated with you about it. And, yes, off base again, to insist on treating your biological daughter together differently from his stepdaughters.

So: If this was his VACATION time and he was spending it without you and the other two kids, and he invited someone else, and did not even inform you of the fact before he departed with your child in his care (another adult you don't know is spending each day with your child?!) -- there is a problem. He may be perfectly innocent of anything like an affair, but he certainly is dumb about communicating, at the very least.

"He included the woman and her child so our child would have a playmate" does not ring true if his goal was to be with your child. He could have had two playmates along by including YOU and your daughters.

You found out in a phone call when he was already gone that another person was his companion for the trip. This trip should have been an all-family visit to your new home. Sit down and review in your own mind if he tends to favor his daughter over your daughters in other ways; does he? Does he travel a lot for work and do you hear little about what he does or what colleagues are along? Is this woman a colleague legitimately in his work group or just a work friend? Does he tend not to tell you a lot about his life outside your home? I have found it's a huge red flag if one spouse never talks to the other about people at the first spouse's workplace. I've seen it be the early indicator that spouse either has something going on with someone at work, or is in trouble at work and about to lose a job.

I would tell him as calmly as possible how you feel (use a lot of "When you did X, I felt Y" statements, not blaming statements) and see if he seems to understand why his actions were at the least hurtful to you and your daughters, and why they would appear like the actions of someone checking out a new city with someone who might be a new companion there. Then I would tell him you both are going to couples counseling immediately, and if he resists, I'd tell him it's counseling or else. He needs to come clean-- either about what's going on with this woman or about his own lack of any respect for you and your children.

He wanted 'quality time' with her... but yet he made sure she had another kid to play with...? Sounds suspicious.

I would ask him how he would feel if the roles were reversed and you were traveling and socializing with another man and his child.
Also, was this a business trip or purely a social one?
And why would this other woman need to give your seven year old a bath? I assume she's perfectly capable of bathing herself, unless she's disabled in some way? Even then, HE should be bathing her.
I'm not one to be jealous AT ALL but this sounds fishy :(

No it is not okay nor is it harmless but it is time for you to meet this coworker and befriend her. I say to befriend her because this will give you a better since of what is going on.

Have hubby invite her and her kid over for dinner or you do it since I guess you know her name. Also you may consider checking out the company policy for becoming too chummy-chummy with coworkers.

By the way it was inappropriate for hubby to allow that strange woman to bathe his daughter but sometimes men aren't comfortable with doing it themselves for the daughters that young.

I would get to to bottom of this by nipping it in the bud with full discloser and a extra dose of friendliness. Send the woman a thank you for being so caring towards your daughter and offer to take her out to lunch or dinner. Squash this quick with wisdom.

Wow! Inappropriate in many ways.
I hope you get to the bottom of this before you decide to do the move.

I would be pissed! I would also put on my "stay calm and use excellent communication" hat. Don't make assumptions. If he says his intentions were good, give him the benefit of the doubt and focus on how you feel about his actions. You only have control over yourself - use lots of "I" statements, e.g. "I feel ____ when you ____ because ____. I would appreciate if you ___." I can see wanting to spend one on one time with his daughter but it doesn't sound like he was. Your feelings are valid about not taking you and your daughters - definitely an issue with "blending" here. I think the biggest issue is him not telling you about it. I would address one thing at a time and stay on topic. Start a conversation by agreeing to focus on one particular aspect. Also, it seems like the 7 year old could bath herself - that is very odd. So does that mean coworker was in his room at night? No bueno. Since they are apparently so close, definitely arrange for some family get togethers. Our rule is we don't hang out with a friend of the opposite sex until we've all had a chance to meet and everyone is comfortable. establish boundaries you can both agree on. There are all kinds of red flags here (imo) but you need to keep a dialogue and not let this blow up. The only way to get to the real issue is without accusations and defensiveness. Good luck!

When I travel on business, we generally are on the same flights, rent only one vehicle, stay in the same hotel, and spend most of our time on the trip together (even outsider work and even if I don't particularly like the person). I've had many business trips with married men. I've never had any romantic interest in these men nor done anything the least bit inappropriate with them. I also would've thought it was odd if their spouse insisted on meeting me before business travel. It's not like I had a choice about business travel with their spouse nor did their spouse have a choice about business travel with me. The only things that I consider odd is that she gave your daughter a bath...whose hotel room was that in? As a professional woman, I am aware of any possible appearance of inpropriety. . . in 20+ years in the workplace, I have NEVER been inside the hotel room of a male coworkers. I usually don't even know their room number; we always meet in the lobby not even in the hall. I don't need to sabotage my career by that kind of gossip. The bath would bother me. The other things that you see as red flags are things that are perfectly normal when coworkers (of either gender) travel on business.

I can understand that you are upset but if you have no reason not to trust him then I would let it go. It appears that the secrecy is what hurt you the most. Really.... they both had their children there and children are tuned in to what is going on and I don't think either of them thought twice about taking it further because your daughter probably would have said soomething to you, not knowing something was fishy going on. I agree that you should have been on board with the knowledge that someone else would be heavily involved in the trip.

Second, it is a slap in the face to your other 2 children. I can see how they would be hurt. Step families suck and I hated it growing up in one. SO unfair to the the children.

Try to keep your self esteem in tact and not see this as him cheating on you. It is not worth you being insecure.

It sounds to me like you two need more communication between yourselves on your expectations, what hurts you or him, etc. Communication (not confrontation) is so key in a successful relationship.

Two issues here.

First, combining families absolutely requires that all the kids are included all the time or at least some combination of step and non-step with a parent. Period. Deal with this now or it will never be "fair" between parents and kids or between the kids themselves. It will prevent A LOT of hurt feelings, trust me!

Second, he absolutely should have told you about this woman and it puts everyone - you, your daughter, the other kid - in a very awkward position. Ridiculous. You are not overreacting!!! If he thought the kid needed a playmate, why not take HIS kids??!!! Yes, of course this scenario could be appropriate had he told you and your daughter ahead of time and you and your daughter knew this woman etc, etc. He DEFINITELY did this entire trip the wrong way and for whatever reason felt he needed to hide this person from you, as if dividing up the kids wasn't enough.

Talk to your husband to make sure you both have the same ideas about how you want your combined family to operate. He absolutely could be cheating on you but I'm not going there. Talk to him!

I think you should talk to your husband about this. Refuse to listen to him tell you that you're overreacting. You DESERVE to meet this woman.

You need to tell your husband that you are confused and uncomfortable with this. He should respect that.

I agree with Jo. I don't think he's necessarily having an affair, but I do think that his behavior is disrespectful of his family and his wife. It's not okay.

As a child of divorce, I will tell you, there are times, we just wanted to have some time alone without the steps.. Nothing against them, but we missed just being able to speak with the one parent we started off with.

This was not an exclusion or not liking the steps, but because we did not live with them all of the time.. we never just had alone time.. Please understand.. this is a good thing.. You need to let your children know, that he is her dad and they just needed some time together alone, since they do not get to do that like your girls do.. Surely they have enough empathy to understand this, when you explain it to them.

I do not understand why he did not tell you up front the other coworker would be there with her child.. To me this would not be a big deal, but maybe he knew you would make it into a big deal and did not want to go through all the drama with you..

You have to make your communications stress free and drama free, so that each of you can be honest with each other.

I have worked and traveled with the men I work with and I promise none of us was "interested in the other.'.. We were just legit, coworkers having to do our jobs in other places. Unless you have had to do this yourself, I guess it is hard to understand.

I adore my husband, he adore me. That is all I need to know.

I have one suggestion. Go to this site http://survivinginfidelity.com/welcome.asp and read a lot on there.

The fact that she was/is so involved when they work together to me is not a huge deal. But the fact that he DIDN"T tell you about it is a huge deal to me. It's understandable if he travels a lot and doesn't want to be lonely - whether it's female or male companionship. But including her in things like bathing your child and not even mentioning it to you is a red flag (or flags) to me. And the fact that he doesn't understand why you are upset. If you trust him (and it sounds like you do), talk calmly to him about it and explain why you are hurting and what specifically you'd like done in the future in these situations. I would also explain to him that his other two daughter are hurting. Are these your girls (is he their stepfather?) and is the 7 year old biologically his? THat could explain him just taking her....

** Your Post says that Husband is to take a trip with your daughter... etc.
But in your post, it seems like they already went... on this trip???
Or is this about another trip that they all went on, before?
-----------------

Um, wow... boundary problems.
AND it was not your Husband that told you this, but your daughter.

If the woman had any class.... she would have initiated to meet you and just out of protocol etc.

Then he excludes his step-daughters. That is another issue.

Is this 5 day trip... for work/business... or just for pleasure???
What is the purpose of it?
He does not have to go on a trip to another city just to have "quality time" with his 7 year old daughter.
The difficulty for your daughter, is that he travels frequently and is not home.

Then, is your Husband and that woman... doing the same job and have the same job title? Or are they both traveling to that city, for different work purposes? And it seems that, their trips are always at the same timing.
Are they partners??? If so, then it makes sense that you must've met her... unless you have never been to your Husband's office nor know anyone from his work place.

The trips, are work/business related, right? That is why your Husband travels to that city, the city that you will all be relocating to. But they seem to also be doing a lot of "vacation" type activities.
Hmmm.

You all are not moving to the other city, for 1 year.
Wow, that is a long time more.
Right?
So until then... how many business trips does Hubby have to go there for... and how many times is he going to say he is also taking your 7 year old with him (but not you or the step-daughters)??? And, shouldn't you ALL... be able to go to the other city, to see it too??? As a FAMILY?
And how many more times, is Hubby going to be taking trips there, at the same time as the woman-colleague, and her daughter too?

**Is the co-worker/woman, married?

**So your Husband says he "included" the other woman and her child so that your/your Husband's child would have a playmate. But this is supposed to be a "quality time" trip, with your daughter, for your Husband?
So, he needs another 7 year old, to keep your 7 year old, busy? For their quality time?
So, since he included the other woman and her child for this trip... then that co-worker/woman... had to make travel plans for herself and her daughter... EVEN if, this was not a scheduled "business work related trip" for herself. She included her daughter. And your Husband included his/your daughter in this trip.
So... what kind of business trip or work related trip... ALLOWS the Employee's child... to travel WITH the employee, for work? And if he is traveling for WORK and this is a WORK TRIP... then how the heck can this even be a "quality time" with his daughter????? He would be working. With your daughter in tow.
Thus, this is not a work related trip... it is a pleasure trip.
What company, would pay for their Employee's hotel room and airplane travel, PLUS their child, too??? Unless your Husband is paying for it all, and he got the okay, to go on that work related trip, WITH his daughter, ahead of time, from his Boss.

Thus, your Husband taking this trip with your daughter, is "vacation time" from work. AND it also means, that that other woman/co-worker... THUS also had to take time off, FROM work, in order to go on this trip. And they both... used their vacation time yearly allotment, for this trip.
It was not a work/business related trip. It was a trip, with their daughters.
And BOTH of them, had to take time off from work, get their time off okay'ed from their Boss, and they went on this trip. Because, it does NOT seem at all, that this was a business trip for work.
It was a trip together, with their daughters, combined. For fun.
And it was not just "quality time" with your daughter and him.
Again, he could have had quality time with your daughter, at home. He didn't have to go on a trip, to do that.
And this trip was not work related.
And he has never taken you or your other daughters on a trip to that city... even if you stated several times, that you wanted to go with all your children.

The woman giving your child a bath... well how did that arise?
And who's room were they in?
You didn't even know, that that other woman would be "involved" in the trip... until your daughter told you. Your Husband never told you.

****AND, I would wonder, if in the future, your Husband will tell your daughter to keep secrets from you, or for her not to tell you things. Being she told you about it, this time.

And, does your Husband call you when he is on these trips?
Do you call him, or call him whenever, and he is available and answers the phone???? No matter what time.
Can you even call him when he is on his WORK related trips?

Even if your Husband did not tell you these things, for fear of it creating drama... he should have told you in the first place. He is after all, taking your daughter on a trip, with him.

And let me tell you, people do have affairs or untoward motives, even if their child is with them.
I know a woman, who's Dad had an affair. When he was out with her as a child, they would go to his secretary's home... just to say hi. And all her kids would run out to the car and say "Hi Uncle John!" like they were so comfortable with him. His daughter, (the woman I knew), wondered why they all seemed so friendly with him. But she was a child, and didn't know any other motives, besides that, well, they know him because their Mom is his secretary. But so, when she got older, she realized why.

Not saying this is your situation.
But a co-worker woman, giving my child a BATH, would not fly with me.
At all.

So he wanted quality time with her but he felt she needed a playmate? I think it sounds very weird. I mean, can't she play with her step sisters? I would not like it one bit and I would be livid that a person I had never met gave my child a bath. I think it is very fishy...sorry....

Are they still on this trip? If so get a sitter NOW for the other girls get on a plane and Surprise them. If nothings going on your husband should be happy to see you. If he gets angry because of the surprise well there is your cue that something more is going on. Why couldn't he take your other daughter's to be a playmate with their sister. I would also speak directly to this women and let her know you will not go silently into the night.

The deception is what bothers me. I trust my DH, and he wouldn't do something like this, but if I were you, I'd be hurt.

Do you have any back history that would give you reason to suspect something? Trust issues/cheating, etc.?

My gut is saying that they are having an affair... The woman was SO comfy with your child that she bathed her? I'd wonder how many other times they'd spent time together that I didn't know about.

I have to say I'd be hesitant about moving cross country for HIM after this major disrespect.

It is not OK. He should never have your taken your daughter, or gone himself, to share time with another woman and her daughter. That they shared a car, spent time sight seeing together and she gave your daughter a bath is too much personal time spent together. This situation is NOT harmless and you need answers as to the status of their relationship.

It sounds to me like they are having their time together and wanting their 2 daughters to meet. It would make sense he wouldn't want the step-daughters there, as they wouldn't living with him and his new woman.

I do know in the corporate world when you travel, typically coworkers are placed on the same flight, in the same hotel, and only 1 rental car is given. But strange to me he wants his daughter there to spend time with her, but needs this womans child there as a playmate? Sorry to say, but it doesn't sound right. I have seen it many times were coworkers have more than a professional relationship and go on these business trips as their "get away" to be together.

He is cheating on you....... LEAVE

.

I would be pissed if it were me!!! Number one step kids or not you should not take one kid on a trip like that unless you are planning in advance trips just the same with the others. And if he wanted her to have someone to play with take the sisters. I hope you don't have anything to worry about but to me if he didn't tell you about this that would be a big red flag and ya'll really might want to go to counseling to work through this.

Good luck and God Bless!!!

I think it's time to really think about what happened.