Husband's Napping....

He's napping out of boredom seems to me. Me and my hub do it too.
Bad when you have kids tho. Get a stun gun and wake his arse up :)

My husband is a major napper, and he's perfectly healthy. He just likes to nap. It was annoying when the kids were little; now I'm used to it.

I'm going to try a different take on this. We Moms sacrifice a lot for our families, and while that's important, we are the ones that tend to forget having balance. That is one thing men seem to do better. I know many dads who are very involved with their kids but they still take time to do things for themselves (work out, engage in a hobby, etc). How many times do we as moms forget about ourselves? While many men can do these things bc they have a super wife who's holding down the fort, I think it's up to us to strike a compromise w our husbands. Your husband naps on Saturday afternoons? Well then Sunday afternoons, you get 2 hrs to yourself. That way you can nap, take a yoga class, whatever. The key is to communicate and find balance for yourself. Moms will always have the lion share of parenting but we shouldn't sacrifice ourselves to the point where we build up resentment. Your kids need to see balance in your life too - and you'll be a better mom and wife for it. Good luck!

My husband and I have different sleep needs. He is up very early every day of the week - he just can't sleep late. So sometimes he's up at 4 am for the day. After working all day and coming home around 6 and eating dinner, sometimes he needs a few minutes to rest (like 15 or 20). After that, he interacts with me and our daughter. He might head to bed around 9:30 or 10 (I might wake him up for an hour or two around 11 for some "adult time"). I go to bed between 1 and 2 and I like to sleep late if I can (I'm a SAHM and at least 3 mornings during the week he lets me sleep while he takes my daughter to the bus before he goes to work).

On the weekends, he doesn't lay around all day watching TV. He helps around the house if I need him to and we have fun family time. If he needs a nap on Saturday or Sunday afternoon, I'm OK with it - it's usually only a 1/2 hour or so and then he's energized again. I should mention that he has neck and back pain from a car accident and he sometimes needs to lay down to deal with the discomfort from that. As long as he's involved and "present" the rest of the time, I don't really care if he needs a nap. He would extend the same courtesy to me if I needed one (I don't nap well, so I'm really jealous of him. He's jealous that I can sleep until 11)

My ex-husband (who I am super close with) works full time as well but about about 20 hours a week less than I do (I have follow up work on the computer at home after selling all day, he is in finance). If he makes it to 9:30 pm for bed, it is a miracle. I go to bed between 11-12 and am up atleast two hours before him (me 4pm, him 6am). I think people require different amounts of sleep and handle boredom/down time differently. I love to clean, enjoy activities with my daughter and feel guilty for lounging but he would rather watch all the stuff stored on TiVo. People are different.

Napping is not the issue. A nap is only 2 hours of a 24 hour day. The issue is his callous refusal to do his part! I am a napper. When I list my hobbies - napping is the top of the list. However I do more than my part with the kids and around the house on the weekend. My 2 hour nap doesn't interfere with all I need to accomplish around the house and as a loving mommy. My husband, on the other hand does not nap. However, he sists on his butt and watches sports all day. Don't get me wrong, he's a sahd, so I don't mind. I'm just saying, naps are great. And your husband should do his part. But a nap is just a nap.

I am up earlier than everyone in my home since I just can't manage to sleep that late, and by early afternoon on the weekends I'm desperate for a nap. Some people's natural sleep patterns are different and some people who are perfectly healthy require a different amount of sleep. I can understand that this would be annoying, but it doesn't sound like a problem to me. I get annoyed that my husband sleeps later on Saturdays, but he also works evenings and has other sleep issues, so it's his only chance to catch up. I think women also handle sleep deprivation and stress a lot better than men and their bodies cope differently than ours do. It stinks, but I can function passably on almost no sleep while my husband is a nightmare without at least six hours.

Omg - what is your husband's name?! I think we are married to the same man (except mine doesn't get up early ever on the weekends).

Yes, my husband would sleep all day every day if I let him. We have kids, and on the weekends, I get up with the kids when they wake (usually around 7 am), make breakfast, etc. He rolls out of bed around 10 or 10:30.

Then he loves to go straight to the couch, watch TV for a few hours, then take a nap.

I work 45-50 hours per week, get up with the new baby at night, cook, clean and do most of the child rearing. I would LOVE a nap every weekend!

My hubby naps and lays around on the weekend but he also interacts with all of us. And we also do things as a family sometimes too. Maybe you can talk to him and suggest doing fun things together or maybe he can "bum around" in the same room as the family. I'd be annoyed too. Good luck!!

I need way more sleep than my husband. My oldest needs more sleep than his younger brother.

I think sleep needs and habits are at least partly genetic. Fortunately, my husband is very understanding and doesn't complain often when I sneak into bed at 9:00 (which is just when he'd like to snuggle and watch a movie or play cribbage). And he also tries very hard to let me sleep in on either Saturday or Sunday. I am not lazy. I am a much more energized, happy and lovable person when I get the sleep I need.

Does he have hobbies? Or any interests besides napping or bumming around the house???

Maybe make a 'list' of things for him to do.
Maybe he can't even think of anything on his own.

At least, he is not addicted to the computer or games.

Maybe he is just bored.....

He SHOULD be doing things around the house too.
This is HIS family
HIS kids
HIS home
HIS 'role' in life.
It just is.
It is useless to waste his time like that.

Maybe he needs to exercise.
That gives more energy, too.

I'm a napper. But, I don't let it get in the way of what I have to do. It sounds like your hubby needs to "earn" his nap time. I don't see a problem if he wants to do it, but he should be in communication with you FIRST to make sure what needs to be done is done or planned to be done. THEN he can nap when it's good for all of you. Also, he should be 100% willing to give you the same time he gets so you can do what you want and he keeps up with the duties. I can't really blame him if napping is his nature, but he should not be so one-sided and selfish with it. He must consider you and the family as well as himself.

Just a fact for you...some of us REQUIRE more sleep than others.

I am one of those people compared to my hubby...but I never get a nap and never feel as if I have gotten enough sleep :(

I can only commiserate and agree with the previous poster. My husband is an incredible help most of the time and has largely been a stay at home dad for the last two months. Still, he always takes time to read the paper in the morning and he often naps on the weekends. I, too, find it annoying, since there's always something that needs done, and I never seem to have the opportunity to read the paper and nap, even if I wanted to. It seems like there are habits they have from pre-baby days that just don't go away, even while we're dealing with a whole new set of issues/stresses/daily things that need to happen. I hate feeling like I nag him, but sometimes in the morning I'll just say, 'can you please work on/get ___ done today?' and as long as it's done when I get home I'm fine. Weekends are hard, though, since it can take all day for those tasks to be completed, when I feel like it could have happened quickly early in the morning. I don't know if there's a way to establish what things need to happen during the week and then figure out a schedule so that he has the opportunity to do it on his own time while still working in naps? :) Geesh, are they kids, too!?

I have yo have a nap each day if possible.. if not, I am ready for bed at 8:00 pm. My husband gets up even earlier than me and he also needs a nap. Our daughter is a junior in college and she actually schedules her nap into her schedule..

If I have not had a nap, I can be a bear..

Not everyone needs a nap, but for those of us that do.. we just function better. Sorry, I think you are being rough on your husband..

If you want a nap take one. I used to give our daughter a choice. "You quietly in your room, or you can look at books quietly in bed next to me, or you can join me for a nap.." She was fine with it..

Does he nap like this in the warmer months when outside activities are available? I ask because alot of people I know get a "winter depression" where they basically hibernate and sleep/nap in the winter months. We call it the winter blues.

Sounds like my husband.... Sadly, I have not successfully come up with a remedy, but I have found it gets worse when he's depressed. Let me know if you find the answer.

Did he get his testosterone levels checked by any chance?
I only ask because my friends husband who was always active and loved travelling and working around the house just basically quit. All he wanted to do was sleep. They didn't have sex for MONTHS. It was driving her crazy. She went to the doctor with him thinking that he had depression, but they ran tests and the man had basically zero testosterone. The doctor started him on injections and it made a world of difference. He's back to his normal self.
Your husband may be on the lazy side, but it could be something else too.
If they didn't check already, have them check his testosterone levels.

Best wishes.

Take a nap too!!!! There is nothing wrong with you slowing down a bit. If he sees that things don't get done then maybe that will spur some action and if it doesn't show him how things pile up and prove the point.
I had to realize that i have this inner drive to have the house work done and my husband doesn't. Once I stopped running around like crazy he noticed that we needed to do things around the house. I occassionally go on strike when the balance shifts back but the strikes work and we get back on track. I don't think he realizes I go on strike. I just make sure I have myself set for work the next week and that our son won't go hungry and then I go on strike and sit down or nap but I don't do anything for my husband. I only prepare food for our son. He can then fend for himself.
This worked for me. --V

He may need the naps sometimes but probably most of the other times he is being lazy, and he probably thinks he deserves it.

I started thinking about this awhile ago. I'm like you and do 85% or more plus I'm the ONLY one that works in my family. My husbands stays home with our youngest and has a line of excuses why he doesn't work... anyway, I do most everything, even things the kids could be doing... It's mommy duty, however, if I keep doing them, and I do have 2 sons, why would they ever think they would need to do anything when they get married. I think us as mothers need to teach our kids better. I notice this with boys more so, they think the woman should do it or that's a girl's job.

I like to nap, I'm a napper myself. I also like some me time, I'm sure you do too. I bet your husband feels his full time job wears him out and he wants his time or maybe he's family was like that growing up. I came from a really close knitted family doing everything together. My husband, complete opposite, and when we are all home, you will most likely find him in our room by himself watching his shows. I'm downstairs with the kids watching their shows. I'd much rather (most of the time) be with them than watch my shows. Even if I do try to watch my shows, unless they are napping I get constant interruptions and don't get to see it anyway...

I am not a napper either, and my husband is/was. I would get frustrated too so I know where you are coming from... Have you talked to him? Maybe just give him a list of stuff to get done, and then if he does that and still needs a nap, you won't be as bothered. Or if he gets nap time - you get some alone time. We all recharge differently. Explain to him what you need and talk a bit about it. Good luck.