Husband's Ex-wife

I would really be concerned about the children. Pornography is not something for the children to be around at all. How did you find out about the pornography? If you found it then CPS or a lawyer could also find out about it. I think that a custody battle may not be such a battle if such horrible things are going on. I feel that life is full of trials but the children can be taught to overcome them and the start is getting them away from the house. They are crying out for help from you guys. Do a little bit of leg work and find out what can be done.

Been there, done that.
First, print out EVERYTHING you find on her. Pictures, websites, anything and everything. Search her name, but keep in mind she may be using other names. I am really good at things like this and will help you if needed.
Next, call social services in her state. Explain what is going on and send them copies of everything you have (always keep a set for yourself).
This should be enough to have the children removed from the home and placed in your care. My husbands ex got arrested for drugs and prostitution and he got custody of his daughter because of that. Later on, I discovered she was a escort and that helped when we terminated her rights and I adopted our daughter.
I can walk you through things if you need help.

Get custody. Pornography is the basis of unfit mother- do this for the kids- you cannot leave them there.
You are the adult- your job to protect them.
best, k

H.,
I agree with Tara G. print out everything and keep records/documentation of what the kids say and when etc. Someone has to protect kids. I know CPS does't always do the greatest job but most times that is because no one wants to get involved and stand up for the kids. It won't be an easy battle but it will be worth it in the end when the kids are safe. Good Luck.
Kay

Gather what information you can from the kids, write it all down in a logical sequence, obtain online what you can of her prno pictures, and ask a lawyer in her state, or the state in which the custody was declared re: the divorce. Sadly, this is a legal issue. If child support is supporting her bad actions, and the children are in a bad situation, and you are willing to take custody for their protection, then think of the children and do this. Just get the facts you can FIRST.

Dont'n be affraid of how bad the battle of custody migth be. Rigth now what is most important is the safety of the kids physical and emotional wellness. So to start,you migth talk to a social worker,this could be the one that works in the childrens school, you could do it by phone ask the kids the name of the school, so u can search for the phone number.If not, you migth go to the court and start the process of complaint, in order to beging the search. Your husband and u have to move quiqly, the children might be in real danger!

Well H. i do believe were in the same boat! I know exactly what your going threw. You guys should talk to the kids first and ask them if they want to live with you guys. If they say yes then let them know that you guys will have to go to court and fight for them to live with you because you cant just take them explain it to them. Save everything that you have that she has done you'll need that to prove her to be the unfit mother that she is. Also the court might want to speak to the kids and ask them what they think about living with their mother. If this is the case let them know that no one not even you and your husband will know what they say(have them go in the jugdes chambers.) I cant remember the age but i know if the kid is either 13 or 15 they can choose whoever they want to be with and there will be no problems.
unfortuanly for my husband when he left his wife she was pergo. His son is now going on 3 and he has only seen him about 5 times his first year of his life. She refuses to let him see him. she harrasses us and has his son calling another man daddy. After she had him she was constantly drinking and drunk txting n calling us she even threaten me when i was pergo and wished my unborn child dead. She has done so much to him its unbelieveable an he has never done anything about it. My hubby made the mistake in thinking that she would come around and let him be with his son. He was wrong and i warrned him that she would never let him see his son after she got over him and moved on. Mind you she is a complete psycho. he had so many chances to get custudy of his son but he never did, because she brain washed him into thinking because she is a marine and he is arabic that they will never let him have the boy. I kept telling him to do certian things that will help him and he never did he thought that the boy would eventually find out and come looking for him. yeah rite that doesnt always happen and if it did for him with his xwife bad mouthing him, the kid will never believe him and it wont end well. I finally knocked some sence into him and he is fnally starting to take action. dont let your husband do the same as mine he'll regret it and wish he listened and it might be to late then. not many women are like us. He's lucky. You dont see a new wife willing to take in her husbands kids from an xwife. if the kids are young just go straight to a lawyer and start the process. i wish you the best and i hope you guys do the right thing and get those kids out of that enviroment.its bad for them. they will grow up thinking its okay to do those things. try as much as you can to keep the kids out of the court room. Tell the kids not to tell their mother about anyting send the court papers and ask for the kids to be with you while all this is going on so that they will be in a healty enviroment. Good luck to you and i wish you nothng but the best! if you have any queston fill free to send me a email!

I understand it might be a nasty battle, but someone needs to protect these kids! It doesn't sound like mom is, so maybe it's time for dad to step up and start doing it. Depending on the kids ages - they should be able to talk to the judge & have a say in where they live. Talk to the kids the next time they visit & see if they desire to live w/ you all & go from there. Do as much research as you can & then take it to court. I understand that it will effect the kids - but try to figure out how the battle will effect them & the way they are currently living... which one will have the worse effect on them?

Are you able to hire a Private Investigator? That would give you the advantange of someone in her state that is documenting her craziness, rather than trying to do it all remotely. I hope things work out for the best.

The kids being left alone and them not liking it - this is a cry for help. If you don't try to get them out of that situation, the impact will be much worse than your going to bat for them and trying to get them in a better environment. Document everything, and follow your heart.

Any court will remove children in a situation that is harmful to the minors. Pornography would be one such situation. Get them out of there, pronto.