Husband's Desire...

Sounds like my ex-husband! Seriously, he had the sex drive of plant life. We did counseling, adjusted meds, tried fantasy scenarios, etc. And now we are divorced. While I have always been quite sexual I had no idea how important balance in that area of my life was and as you say, the older I got the more cranked my drive has become.

Do counseling, bargaining, whatever you need, to achieve balance between your two differing levels of need, the longer you let it go the harder it is to fix. My boyfriend was put on notice when things got serious between us that I will tolerate no shilly-shallying in the sack. Once a week you are tired, fine but don't make a habit out of it.

Don't get paranoid - I don't think it means he's gay or cheating. Some men do just have lower libidos. After our kids, our sex life slowed down and I assumed it was me, and I spent all this time feeling guilty. Well, all of a sudden (around age 30) my libido picked back up and I realized that he was just as content slowing down as I had been. Only now I'm the one "begging" which isn't a fun position to be in either!

That said, it could be that the sex has gotten boring or routine. He might have some fantasies that he's not comfortable sharing. Do try changing things up in bed and getting him to open up about what's missing (but then you have to be open to what he says!) That has helped in my home : )

Finally, if you want to have sex, get used to initiating! As a woman, I was so used to either just saying "yes" or "no" that it took some practice figuring out how to start things up. I would talk to him, though, if there's constant rejection - that means something else is probably going on.

Good luck!

It is possible he just has a low libido or possibly is depressed which can definitly make someone not interested in sex. You should have him get checked by his doctor. I wouldn't like past posters assume he is cheating. You said he wasn't that interested before the kids were born.

I definitely have a higher sexual appetite than my husband. It too was great at the beginning and then it tapered off. I say he was into it more when he still felt he was in "chase" mode and then tapered off when he was more relaxed in that he "had me." ha. I was bummed about it and we have had discussions about it but in our case it all comes down to his job & the hours he works. He works crazy hours sometimes as early as 3 or 4 am so when he comes home he is tired and just wants to sleep. I like to tell him that he tricked me. haha. Anyway ... what we had to do was try to compromise ... he is trying to be interested more and I am trying to be "ok" with a little less. I think I am still lucky if I get 3-4 times a month. LOL. I wouldn't jump to believing that he is cheating though. That's a bit extreme. Only you know your husband.

I agree with the prior post. I believe he is getting it somewhere else or is gay or bi. Men are physical, it's just how they are built. I hope you find a solution. Good luck.

I did, and unfortunately, he was just not interested in having sex with ME anymore. He was getting it elsewhere.
I hope that is not the case with you, but this came from my pastor when I was in counseling with him after we split. He said, "I am sorry to tell you this, but I didn't want to while you were with him. Men don't lose interest in sex. He was not going without for month at a time."