Husband Thinks Breastfeeding Is Ewe

There are many reasons healthwise to breastfeed, and if all those reasons don't make him reconsider, pull out this most important one, and share it with whomever doesn't see the light. And this, to me, is the #1 best thing about breastfeeding: your breastmilk is your baby's pharmacy. Your baby gets a germ, inserts it into your breast like having a prescription filled. Your body identifies the germ and makes an intibody to fight it off. Next time baby nurses, that antibody is given to the baby: his prescription is filled. What an amazing machine we women are that we can do this! And no doctor, no pharmacist, can do that for our babies. Science hasn't come that far yet. We are a living pharmacy that custom makes medicine for our babies, you can't get that from formula! Share that story with him if he doesn't think it's the best thing for your baby! Besides, he loves you enough to produce a baby with you, how can there be anything "icky" about you, using the body that he loves, to nurture the baby you both created and take care of it in the best way imaginable?! Does he have his head up his butt!? *sorry if that sounds mean, don't mean to!* I can't imagine him saying he has to "deal" with you nursing your baby, he should be honored that you love your baby enough to take the effort to do such a wonderful thing for his/her health. I can't imagine how it must feel going thru all that you're going thru, being pregnant on top of it, taking care of two kids already, and dealing with that, it's just plain immature, or anal retentive, that's my opinion. Seriously, I'd mention to him that he needs to get over his issues because you're going to have 3 kids before you know it, and their needs are priority, not his stupidity!

hi holly,
you are the one carrying his child having to go through the turmoil of morning sickness, aches pains mood swings weight gain etc.. and the finale of having to deliver this baby. breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your child and if he doen't understand the benefits of breastmilk tough luck for him. show him some stastics on breastfeeding in a book or magazine. if he still won't comply just tell him you are doing it becuase its best for baby and just because he doesn't like it he doesn't have to watch. you mentioned you were divorced , AND NOW ENGAGED. I SAY BEWARE AND TRY AND MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND WHY YOU FEEL AS STRONGLY AS YOU DO AND HOPEFULLY HE WILL COME AROUND OTHERWISE YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. ONE THING THOUGH DO NOT BOTTLE FEED JUST BECUASE HE THINKS BF IS EWWE. STICK TO YOUR GUNS. GOOD LCK KELLY

My sons father had a hard time with me nursing as well. My reply to him was extensive at first, but then I summed it up very well by saying "Society seems to think that boobies are for men to play with. Clearly they do much more good, get more use, and are meant for feeding our children." Good luck, I know this is hard.

Holly,

Your husband is reacting to a lifetime of social programming. The idea that breasts are sexual objects, not sources of nutrition has been deeply ingrained in our culture for a very long time. Happily, it's changing over time now as more and more women are nursing. That doesn't do much to help your husband, who has grown up with that notion, and it's really hard to change social programming. It sounds like his outlook is that he thinks it's gross, but willing to live with you doing it.

My best advice is to work with his feelings. If it makes him uncomfortable to see, then don't nurse at the dinner table. Use a blanket for discretion when he's around, the way you would with other people who you aren't as close to. I know the argument, it's a natural activity and nothing to be ashamed of, blah blah blah. So is peeing, but I've got a door on my bathroom, don't I? Don't get me wrong, I'm a breastfeeder too, but I have always been discreet about it. I don't nurse on park benches or in restaurant booths, and tend even in my own home to nurse in my bedroom. I'm not implying the entrie world should work this way, but you live with someone who is sensitive to it.

If you really want to break your husband of his negative feelings about breastfeeding, take your husband to the supermarket. Hand him a can of formula, and let him figure out how much that'll cost for a year! My sister's brand comes in a huge can that lasts her 2 weeks or so with her guy. It's $25.00!! Over a year, that's $650.00 you could keep if you breastfeed. Can he think of anything at all he'd rather do with all that money?

Hi Holly. I just wanted to second the below comment. I agree with everything she said...I didn't look at the name before I started writing this. :) I would just be discreet about it in front of him.

Also...i think it's great that you guys are giving your marriage another shot. Are you in counseling?? You really need to be, in my opinion. Relationships are work and everything doesn't always naturally fall into place. It would be great if you could go to counseling together and really strengthen your relationship so that it will work this time and you will stay together. You don't want your kids going back and forth with you guys being together or apart.

My very best to you and your family. I really hope that things work out and that your family becomes very strong through all the trials you've been through. And press on with the breast feeding. Definitely try taking him to the supermarket and calculate the cost. I like that. :)

God bless!

My advice is to find a local LeLecheLegue group in your area and go to a meeting. Tell these women your story and you with have so much support you won't believe it.

you are divorced from him and now engaged again?? hello! it didnt work the first time, do you really think it will work again? he is obviously not too supportive of you and sounds pretty selfish. i'd be very careful if i were you cuz you just may end up divorcing again. have you tried counseling??

Its not your husband with the problem its the WORLD Everyone is tought to look at boobs as Sex objects not as a source of food for your kids.

Hi Holly,

Just remind him how much formula costs, that will probably help him get over it!!

Good Luck!
M.

Oh, Come on!! Does he realize that breast feeding is the absolute best thing you can do for your child. I think he just needs to be educated on breast feeding and hopefully he'll feel differently.

If you're willing to marry this guy again after going to the trouble of divorcing him once before, he must have done something right to win you over again. By being in a relationship with him, you are agreeing to consider his point of view. While his repulsion is disappointing and hurtful, it's not surprising given society's obsession with breasts as sex objects. Ask him how he feels about staying up all night with a sick, fussy infant who hasn't had the benefit of breastmilk to protect him/her from illness. I could convince my husband to do just about anything in order to avoid a screaming baby!

Fortunately, my husband had the good sense to realize and appreciate how much work fell on me by being the sole source of feeding. If he had any reservations about my breastfeeding in public discreetly (whipping out breasts is purely for theatrics, in my opinion), he had to good sense to keep it to himself. He was just as happy to be relieved of more work. Maybe your husband-to-be feels left out and wants to be involved in some way. It's worth discussing. As a gesture, pump some breastmilk, put it in a bottle and take some much needed time for yourself! If he thinks breastfeeding is gross, wait 'til he gets a load of pumping!

Good luck and congratulations on the new baby.