Husband Movin Out What Do I Tell My 4 Yr Old

No matter how bad you two do not like each other you need to tell this little boy together. He is going to still need you both in his life. This is his dad moving out, its a huge crush on a child. He will need the support of you both. I feel so bad for him. Do not lie to him, if your husband does not step up to the plate and talk to this little boy then it will be on you mom. I would say chose your words carefully as not to put down his dad. I wish you luck.

I'm not sure if you have argued in front of him a lot or not or even when he is asleep at night which he may be able to here. Either way, you could explain that you and daddy have not been playing well together and you need a time out from each other. Since you live together and there isn't much other place for Daddy to go at home, he is going to sleep somewhere else. This put it in terms he would understand and give him the ability to ask questions at his level. The best thing for him would be for you to show this is not a negative thing (although I understand you're upset attempting to not cry and be strong will help the 4 year old adjust better).
Remember to not make Dad look like the bad boy although he is the one moving out. Encourage him to still love his dad, remind him that both of you love him still!
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and I wish you the best of luck!

What a difficult decision you've had to make.
My guess is that your son is aware of the tension between you two. I think it would be appropriate to let him know you need some time apart so you can stop fighting with each other. Experts always stress the importance of letting the child know it is not his fault and both of you still love him.
Best of luck to you,
J.

Please try to arrange a time when you AND dad can explain this together. It will be super confusing to him if you try to do it alone.
Explain that you are not getting along well and want to see if living in separate places might be best. Tell him dad will be living at another home and he is welcome there...that he will have two homes now..mom's and dad's.
Tell him what has not changed is that mom AND dad still love him just as much and tell him that it is not, in any way his fault.
God bless.

Let your husband be the one to tell your son or the both of you tell the boy. No need to go into deep detail though.

I got separated and divorced when my son was 4. If you're fighting, its better, trust me.

Sit down with your son( with your husband if possible, but only if he will be on the same page and NOT confrontational) and just say that Daddy is going to be staying somewhere else for a little while. I would not dwell on that aspect of it, at this time. If he asks why, just reassure him that it has NOTHING to do with him- Daddy and mommy just need to work on some things separately, is all.

The important thing here is to reassure your son that you BOTH love him very much and think he is a very good little boy. Remember- NO DETAILS- he does not need to know them and it can be tempting to confide too much. Just reinforce the positive and don't get into the whys any more than you have to at this point. That time will come later.

If your husband is agreeable, I would set up a specific time/day for him to see his son right now, to keep your little boy's schedule as continuous as possible. If there is something they usually do together like go to the park on Sunday, then KEEP DOING IT.

Or set up a new routine. The most important thing is to stick to it, just as you always do and let your son know. Your husband could say " Today is Sunday. Every Tuesday we go and throw the softball at the park after dinner. Tuesday is in 2 days and I will come to pick you up right after dinner and we'll go to the park, just like always." of course, only do this if you know he will be reliable and show up.

If his grandparents are in the area and aware of what's going on, enlist their help. Let them know that your main concern is keeping everything as smooth and sheltered for your son as you can and that you would appreciate their help to do that, out of love for their grandchild. Right now there may be bitter feelings, but later on, the grandparents on both sides will appreciate it if you make a point of keeping them involved in your son's life.

Same with preschool teachers or neighbors and friends that you feel comfortable sharing the details with. They don't need to know everything- just enough to help cushion your son from the situation. For him, the more familiar faces around, the better!

If you do end up getting a divorce or making your separation permanent, then I HIGHLY recommend you and your husband see a professional mediator to make all your son's custody and childcare and support arrangements.

Let attorneys handle the legal aspects of things, but a few sit-down meetings with a mediator and your husband and you will give you both a 'rule-book' to fall back on. It will allow you to set up a firm schedule of visits, holidays etc. not just for your convenience but so you have a solid plan to show your son to let him know where he will be and with which parent on certain days or events. That will mean a lot to him.

A friend of mine whose parents went through an ugly divorce where the fighting over the kids went on for years told me this: "It's never a good time for a child when their parents get divorced. But if you do it now, while your son is little, you can shelter him from the worst of it. And by the time he is old enough to start to see more things and be more observant , you will all have a 'system'. The system won't be perfect, but when you have parent-teacher conferences, or soccer games or other things to go to to support your son, you will all know how to be polite and smile at each other- you will all have the system down and he will know what to expect."

That advice was the best I was ever given about my son and getting divorced. It has proved to be 100% true. My son is 10 now- very bright, well adjusted and happy. He sees his dad every week, but has a wonderful relation with his stepfather and lives with us full time. We do not always agree about everything to do with my son- but we have the system and it works most of the time and we can all be civil and supportive of our son when we're together in public.

Good luck to you, however things work out. Please feel free to send me a message if you have other questions or I can offer any practical advice.

mommy and daddy need a break from each other because they are fighting to much. Explain sometimes breaks is what people need to get along. If you wind up divorcing tell him mommy and daddy took a break from each other too see if they could get a long and we found out we just couldnt get along. You and him need to explain the same way or he will get confused and probably start getting in trouble.