Husband Has Threatened to Take Kids

I'm with Jenn. I would keep offering to let him see the kids around family, but be open that his overall behavior makes you uncomfortable about letting him take them anywhere. You seem to be thinking things through and not reacting with anger. Good luck.

Hey there sis. I would NOT let him take those kids. I know Drew well enough from you being married to him and I don't think he would bring those kids back. I don't think he would hurt them or anything but he wouldn't let you see them and he won't care for them as well as you do. He has made it very clear...on several occasions that he doesn't want to be the father you want him to be. I think the only reason he wants those kids is because he doesn't want you to have them. I am still here supporting you and I love you very much. Please let me know if you need anything from me! Love your sister!

I'll be honest with you, I wouldn't let your kids go with him until there is a custody order in place. There is no court order right now that you are breaking by not allowing him to leave with the kids, and in the same turn, there is notcourt order that he would be breaking by not bringing them home. Many lawyers have free consultations, so I would highly recommend speaking to one to find out all of your options if you aren't able to start a legal battle. If you can talk with him and come to an agreement on custody, that will save a lot of time and money in legal fees. But while he is behaving like he is, there is no way I would risk sending your kids with him.

You need advice from a lawyer. If you do not allow your husband to see the children for a period of 7 days, he can go after you for kidnapping. The charges wouldn't stick but it would make a bad mess, worse. Be careful and try not to let each of your emotions make the situation more volatile.

Do you have an attorney yet? Getting your divorce/seperation papers filed asap would help, as he would then be told when/where/how he can communicate with you and/or see his kids. He would be told the consequences of taking the kids out of state, not returning them on-time, etc. It would also resolve the vhicle problem (do you have witnesses for his actions?) You'd also start receiving child support sooner, and be able to get any state aid that is available. Hate to hear you having to go through this, but that's the best advice I have for you. I've never been through this, but several of my friends have divorced. The sooner the papers have been filed, it seems the sooner the shenanigans stopped.

you NEED to get the courts involved. get a lawyer. this is not something that you can work out with him yourselves.

if there is no legal paper out there, i don't believe he can do anything. he knows where you are, so if he wants to see the kids, he can come see them! he is only doing this cuz he knows it hurts you. this is his way of "getting to you" since he isn't getting his way now. i would not let him take the kids by himself. he definitely sounds like he needs supervised visitations! if you haven't filed for divorce...i would definitely get to it! at least talk to a lawyer like other mom's on here are saying. you need to get some professional advice to see exactly what you can and can't get away with! if he cared about them...he would be there to see them. don't let his attitude get to you...stay strong for those kids!!! they need you more than ever right now!!!! keep us updated and we are all praying for you!!

Hi - I really don't think you should let him take your kids, you've given him the oppurtunity to see them with you or someone else around, and he didn't take you up on the offer. You have to ask yourself, why is he so intent on being alone with them? You also have to remember until your divorce is finalized, if takes them and doesn't bring them back, there won't be a lot you can do about it at first. I would think long and hard before i made my decision.

You need to start paperwork now. A friend of mine had a husband like this and she went to the lawyers. They documented everything!! You need to do that.

Make sure that someone knows that he was thinking of his kids when switched cars and it left you on the side of the road.

It sounds like he is just trying to hurt you by threating with the kids. If it was me, look into a lawyer and have a chat before letting the kids go anywhere with him. The other thing that you may want to really think about is keeping any and all proof against him. Keep you chin up and do not back down. You can do it.

Shar

WOW! I feel like I'm replaying an old movie in my head reading what you are going through. I believe your estranged husband is trying to intimidate you. My ex-husband did that for awhile until he realized that it wasn't working.

He used to try to come to the house when he knew my kids were there home alone hoping they would open the door for him; they didn't. Then, he got mad at me because he felt I told the kids not to open the door to him (He thought he was special and the acception to the rule.).

Friends told me not to let him have the kids until we went to court and had an order in place because like one woman here said, there is nothing to say he can't have the kids. He may get them and not bring them back. I've also been told that the parent with the kids at the point you go to court has the upperhand in court. I'm not sure how much this is true, but on some level it does make sense because they don't want to uproot the kids unless the environment isn't safe. I would consult an attorny to find out your rights. If you cannot afford an attorney, I would call around and get a free consultation to find out your rights and get some questions answered. Also, you could check into legal aid where you live to see if you are eligible for that type of assistance (which is based on your household income).

Hold your ground, find out your legal rights, and it will help you to figure out where to go from there. One other thing...DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!

I'm in Missouri too so if you ever need to talk, drop me a line.

Hi A., I'm sure you have a lawyer if you have started divorce proceedings if not then you should file. Next I would start documneting when you have offered for him to see the kids and we he doesn't show up write it down. Also documnet the things he is telling you such as he is going to take the kids. Also I would let your lawyer know you are concerned about him taking the kids.

Now the next thing is lets think about this he says "he is gonna take the kids" but if he takes thr kids then he won't be able to have his single life and go and come as he pleases. So it sounds like he is playin head games with you. The next time he says he is gonna take the kids call his bluff, ask him oh yeah well who is gonna watch them, are you gonna pay for daycare, are you gonna stay home at night and take care of them, etc. Also from this point on don't engage in arguing with him. If he is supposed to come see the kids and doesn't don't call or anything just document it down on when and where he was supposed to be there. If he actually does show up cool but otherwise let it be. He will end up making himself out to be a jackass, let him. In my opinion I wouldn't let your kids know he is coming until he is coming it just causes stress on them and they don't need anymore. Just stay strong and keep your head up. W.

No question, get a lawyer. Protect your kids and yourself.

You say he left you and your children with a car that breaks down and he's already been offered times to see the kids but hasn't shown up or says no, so to me those are two signs of how much he cares for them. I agree with the other women who say to get a lawyer or maybe even contact social services to see what your options are for visitation. If he REALLY wants to see the kids and continue a relationship with them it is only fair he gets the chance, but his behavior and decisions at this current time tell me you should get a professional opinion/advice with a lawyer or caseworker who has experience with these situations. He's not behaving responsibly and in the best interest of the kids, so I personally think his visitation with them should be monitored.

A.,

I didn't see your first post - but with what you have said, I wouldn't trust him any farther than you could throw him. He has proven by his actions, he is thinking of himself first. If you are not into counseling...do it, for your sake and the kids and what it will look like to a judge and attorney. Contact an attorney, legal aid or something. If he has shown aggression or have done so in the past and with the current actions, report that to the police so they have record of his actions. Are your kids in the program where they are finger printed, etc. with the police department...do it. Always have a witness when he is around to validation conversation, actions and attitude. Do you have a church you are a member of that you could get some help through? Do not let him take the kids until you have a decree saying you have to and advise everyone you discuss this with that your fear is he will take the kids and run. I hope this helps - God bless. S. R.