Husband Cut Baby's Hair

I would be mad for about 5 minutes, and then I would get over it, see the humor in it, and take the child to the barber to have it fixed. If you are staying mad about it then yes, I think you are overreacting.

the haircut wouldn't bother me much. it's just hair.
i'd probably be pretty bent that he didn't at least discuss it with me. but the degree (Iivid is pretty extreme) would depend on whether or not this is a pattern or an anomaly.
if he's generally a considerate fellow who discusses big decisions with you and was just being kind of a dolt on this particular day, i'd make a few compressed-lips comments and take the baby to get the haircut fixed.
if this is what he always does, it's symptomatic of bigger problems.
khairete
S.

Considering it is hair and will grow I think you are overreacting. Was it so long he was sick of it? I ask because you say things like drastic hair change and for a 12 month old boy a haircut shouldn't be drastic.

I have known two moms who loved their boys hair and wouldn't cut it. Both husbands took the baby and got it cut off. Both cases I kind of felt more sorry for the husbands because their wives were ignoring the husband's feelings on the matter completely.

It will grow back. In the scheme of things, it's just a blip on the radar. One day, sooner than you think, you will laugh about it. Take lots of pictures.

It's hair and the baby couldn't care less what he looks like. Let it go.

Yes, I'd be mad but it's also funny if you think about it. I'd get some pictures of baby with Daddy and make it a memory. You can fix it tomorrow. We all have stupid moments.

Funny. And certainly not a hill to die on.

I think you are over reacting. It's hair. It grows back. So unless you have family pictures tomorrow, it doesn't seem like an issue that will stop the world from spinning. Take baby to the barber and have them fix it.

I guess I wouldn't be angry. I'd be grateful for a husband who took good care of our kids so I could go out for some time to myself, grateful that my kids' father was involved with them even if was was perhaps a bit misguided, thankful that my husband gave my baby a haircut and not a tattoo, and thankful that hair grows back. I'd perhaps be a little quizzical, like "did you think this through?" and tell my husband that he has to explain the hairstyle to anyone who asks, and I'd calmly suggest that we make any future decisions together, especially about stuff that doesn't grow back!

This is not a fight I would pick. It's done, and you have to just let it be. I assume your husband meant to be helpful - although apparently without much forethought. Let it grow in a little and if it still looks bad, let your husband take the 1 year old to a place that specializes in little kids' cuts and has the right equipment and distracting toys or videos. Let him be in charge. He'll gain a healthy respect for professionals. Meantime he can be in charge of combing the baby's hair since you miraculously won't have any idea how to handle that hair style. Be incredibly calm and hands-off on this! Let him deal with the repercussions.

But this is not a fight I would pick. But I wouldn't take over everything else either - let Dad be in charge of a lot more and he'll see how hard it is, and he may even learn to discuss things or think them through. If you are in charge of everything, then all the work will be yours too - and you'll wind up being resentful of all you have to do and how little he does.

And just to lighten your mood, think of how ridiculous your husband probably looked telling a 1 year old to sit still while he maneuvered with scissors!

I'd be pissed for a couple hours, (seriously, he decided in his own to do baby's FIRST haircut, then jacked it up? I would be upset.)

Then I would let it go, and look for the humor... and my son would probably wear hats (if he will keep them on...) for a while, or wind up with a buzz cut (after I took plenty of pictures... Which may or may not end up on my Facebook page with some funny caption about Dad trying to cut his hair...)

I definitely wouldn't be so mad that I would let this come between my husband and I... I would let him know that I was upset about it, but eventually thank him for *trying* to help... And make it cleR that I would appreciate advance notice for this type of thing in the future.

I think you are overreacting. It's hair. Hair grows. Your baby won't care less. It's kind of cute that his dad tried to cut his hair. I think you should find the humor in this, take some pictures, and laugh about it when your child is older. It WILL be funny then. Just yesterday my daughter and I were laughing about the boy bowl cut I gave her when she was 2.

Take pics. Maybe you should take one with dad standing next to baby wielding scissors with a crazed look on his face, and the hair looking ridiculous. Really, it's funny.

I'd be pretty ticked off too but you have to admit it is kind of funny.

It's one of those things that you'll laugh about later. Take some pictures (or better yet have the offending "barber" take a few) and then get that kid to a professional!

I'd be so pissed. He would be in the dog house for a week.

While I would be pretty angry, myself, I agree with Diane B's awesome advice. Tell him to take him somewhere to get it fixed. And let him take the lead more often. It's a double edged sword to always be the "go to" parent. Some days it's sweet, but some days, maybe in another year when you are beyond the breaking point, it will be really nice to have junior *demand* dad when he is barfing everywhere in the middle of the night. Won't it?

I'd be upset too. First haircuts usually have both parents present (you weren't even given the option). Plus your 8 year old had the good sense to know better and your hubby still moved forward AND did a horrible job which makes it even worse. I would say that you use this as an opportunity to implement the rule that home haircuts are not allowed and drastic changes be discussed first and/or that you are in charge of hair cuts.

At the end of the day, it's done and can't be changed AND it is hair (it will grow back) but I completely understand.

My ex decided to keep take our son for a haircut ONE time. They both got cuts but my son's hair was butchered the day before spring pics (think 6/7 grade) at school. The only thing I could do was take him to have it straightened up (too short and really not a nice look even once it was straight). No one was happy...even he knew it was a bad cut but it was too late.

oh yeah I'd be mad! No question. Big woops on Dad's part.

However- once I calmed down, it's just hair. It'll grow back. (Any chance a real barber could clean it up!?)

Since you don't mention any other issues, I'm going with he's a great dad and hubby, he just had a bonehead moment. Most guys have them lol.

Make sure and take pictures of the awful haircut for the baby book ;) Maybe some day you'll look back and laugh!? I hope so lol.

I'm sure others will disagree but, I'm 1000% with you on this one!!!! Not only would I be in tears but I would be LIVID!!!!

I would try to gather some of the hair if it wasn't thrown out for that first haircut momento. I would talk to my husband about how this is a milestone that YOU wanted to be involved in and you feel hurt that you missed it and you feel excluded. Is this your last baby? That can intensify feelings. More than the hack job, talk about what you overall wanted out of the first haircut experience and try to get your DH to understand that it was something that really mattered to you. I'd be upset, too.

Then I would take the baby for a fix job and count that as the first "real" haircut. Take before and after photos to laugh about later, if you think you can laugh.

Now, that said, a friend of ours is a barber. He set up shop at a camping event. One of the moms was doing something else and the dad allowed their 8 yr old to have a mohawk. Everyone waited for the mom to return and she kind of looked at her son and said, "Do you like it?" He did, so she said, "Okay, it's just hair." Similarly, when my SD was 8 her mom, who to that point had been adamant that she not get her hair cut short, took her to get it hacked off just before our wedding. Tell me that timing wasn't deliberate....Nothing we could do, though. Now, I realize there's a difference between that and a baby's first haircut, but try to remember - it's just hair. Talk to your DH about other milestones that are VERY IMPORTANT to you so you agree before they are done.

What did your DH say about why he suddenly decided to do it?

This depends entirely on context, which we don't have here.

I couldn't get pissed with a guy who did this, if he usually would consult me about important stuff but also doesn't "get" the idea of things like "the first haircut is meaningful" like many moms do. If husband is a good guy who does not put the kids into stupidly dangerous situations, or who maybe meant to give you a fun surprise (get it? Mommy's getting a haircut and when she gets home she'll see baby has one too, it'll be funny!)--then yes, this is overreacting.

If dad is a person who does LOTS of things on impulse and this is part of some larger pattern of impulsive behaviors that could end up in things like spending money unwisely or letting a kid go somewhere that's clearly not safe, or failing regularly to check with you on things that really do matter like discipline, finances, your roles at home -- then yes, I'd be more upset than pissed. And I'd be having a serious talk with him about not just this haircut but about the larger pattern of impulsive behavior, the messages it sends your kids, and the way it affects your feelings about him. But we don't know whether this is just a one-off goof-up or part of some larger issue where he's often doing things like this.

But if dad's otherwise OK, otherwise checks in with you, and goofed this one time, maybe thinking you'd find it funny and you didn't? Then it's way too much energy for you to put into something that'll be gone as soon as the hair grows out. Laugh it off. Take a lot of photos of it to show your kid when he's older and you can all laugh about it together.

I think I would be mad. My reaction, "Are you kidding, WTH were you thinking?" An overreaction...don't care.

I would be mad. Totally. Is it unreasonable? Yes. But I'd still be pissed. But…you have to get over it. Men aren't like us. They don't find sweetness in things like first haircuts. They see hair needs cut, I will help wife by cutting said hair, I'm so wonderful! :)

Talk to your husband about it and express why you're mad and try to move on. And realistically would you have really talked to your husband about a drastic hair change? I know I wouldn't. My husband doesn't really care. In this case, I get it's slightly different cuz it's the first and all but really, I took my kids for their first hair cuts without my husband and he was not disappointed or upset.

It's hair. It will grow back. Take pictures; you'll laugh about this someday. And then take the baby in to a professional and have them fix his haircut. Men do dumb things sometimes. If this is the worst it ever gets for your husband, you'll be doing okay.

I'd be totally pissed BUT I think it comes from the fact that we're not ready to give up the baby and have a toddler. That first hair cut is such as special event and you missed it.

SO take him tomorrow to a real barber and get it cut in a cute way.

I would be livid, mainly because he did not talk with you about it.
You are both parents and I assume the 2 of you discuss pretty much everything about your children together?

This is the time to sit down and discuss the best way for the 2 of you to communicate about the children going forward.

Men can be complete dolts.
Take him somewhere & get it fixed. ASAP.

I would be mad because it is such a botched job. I wouldn't be so angry at it having been his first hair cut.
I would take him somewhere to get it cleaned up so it doesn't look so bad and call that his first haircut if that's important to you.
I am pretty sure your husband will never get this idea again ;)

The bad haircut wouldn't bother me, but the fact that it was HIS FIRST HAIRCUT would make me so upset too! It's a milestone moment and it was taken from you. Get it professionally cleaned up, then let it get whispy again so you can be there for a proper first cut. Sniff.

Is this for real? I can't imagine a husband doing this. I mean, even my super hands-on husband would not think, oh, I'm going to cut the baby's hair right now. IF this is real, I would just let it go, take some pics and say something funny in the photo album about how your husband lost his mind for a moment and THIS is the result. lol Good luck.

You're reacting to feeling like your husband stole a first experience in your baby's life and broke it. I get it... my son's father took him in and dropped him off on his first day of infant daycare before I got there (we drove separate cars because I was heading straight to work).

BUT

He didn't do this TO you. Feel what you feel, but move forward. Take a picture of your butchered baby then take him to the barber and get it fixed. Agree with your husband that you'll talk about all "firsts" before hand moving forward, even if it's just a "hey babe first ice cream cone?" "sure go for it" (but then that means mom asks dad, too).

Don't let this turn into something bigger than it is. There's nothing he can do to fix it, right? So the choice to end this is yours.

Hope this helps,
T.

I would be very upset. One, it is a first. This one is controllable. Not like first steps when you cannot tell when he will make them. My son is almost 4 and has lovely curly hair. He has never had a haircut. Yes, I know he needs one but I just can not bring myslelf to cut them off! My husband has said he will do it, and he knows that I will be mad at him if he does. But he would never cut off to a bowl cut.

I would be mad too...I think. I honestly can't imagine that my husband would EVER take any of my kids to get their haircut at all. It is something I have to ask him to do, then he asks how I want it done, where he should go, if we have any coupons....its just easier to do myself ;)

Hopefully, he will ever do this again!