How Would You Handle Yourself

I would have minded my own business and just walked past them. These are kids I don't know, saying random stuff. Do I really need to bust them on it? Then that makes my kid 'the kid with the crazy mom'.

Here's the deal: not everyone is going to like my kid, and my kid is not going to like everyone. So, some kid was rude, yeah, -- so what? but this isn't an incredibly challenging situation in life, so 'handling myself' would not be an issue.

I would have just kept walking unless they spoke directly to her or "got in her face". I try to get my kids to shrug off some things just because it is not worth addressing.

Throat punch!

I KID I KID

I wouldn't do anything. So what? Some big girls don't like your little girl. Big deal. Maybe your girl doesn't like them either.

without knowing the FULL CONVERSATION? Nothing.

You have no idea if they were talking about your daughter or someone else. She could have been looking at your daughter but talking about someone else.

What would you gain from engaging in a conversation with children you do not know and come mid-stream into that conversation? Not much. It would be different if it was active insults, etc. but it wasn't. It was a statement and she's entitled to feel the way she feels.

Said nothing, you have no idea what they were talking about. Even if they were talking about your daughter, still say nothing. Not everyone is going to like her in life, that's ok. Now if they addressed her rudely I would have said something, but in this example I wouldn't.

ETA - Of COURSE she changed her post to add details, should have known. Original post did not say the girls were looking at her daughter and it was obvious. Regardless, my answer is the same. I wouldn't care if my daughter did hear it - hello teachable moment! Not everyone is going to like you and that's ok because at some point there will be people you don't like.

I wouldn't say a thing. The who-likes-who drama of elementary school is none of your business, mama.

ETA: Saying "I don't like that girl!" Is NOT bullying.

How do you even know who they were talking about? How did your daughter react? Did she even know them? This is too vague to answer.

Let it go. So these girls didn't like your kid. She may not like them either.

You did the right thing by walking on by. It wouldn't have helped anyone for you to stop and confront them. And lets face it not everyone likes everyone. At that age a 6 year old is a pain in the butt to an 8 year old. And on the off chance they were talking about another girl who's name was said just before you walked up it would have been really embarrassing for you to have confronted them.

I would have moved along and said nothing since it was not anything that required parental intervention. If my child heard nothing, I would not bring it to her attention.

If she/he did hear the comments, we could talk about it later, privately, and I'd use that opportunity to have a conversation around the idea that not everyone is always going to like us, and that's okay. I'd also begin to teach the lesson that we don't have to respond to negative comments of others or bite on the "bait" that others throw. Six is not too young to start teaching this.

It's hard not to respond when we see this kind of behavior, especially when we think it is directed at our children, but you did the right thing. Learning to "let it go" is an important life skill, and even though your daughter didn't hear the comments, by choosing to not to say anything to the other girls, you kept the whole episode drama-free.

J. F.

Ignore.

You don't know for sure they were talking about her and even if they were, so what? She didn't hear - not by the grace of God, but because they at least had the manners to say it out of her ear shot.

Not everyone will like you or your kids, so it's easier to swallow that pill now and not get all worked up over it in the future.

ETA: Per your SWH, I just want to point out that someone saying they don't like someone is no where near the possibility of being a bully. Seriously. I know we don't want our kids hurt and we want them to be friends with everyone - but this wasn't bullying in the least.

You did the right thing just letting it go- but I know it's so hard!! It's possible that they really don't like her, and that's ok (the little snots!!). But it's also possible that they were just trying to sound cool to one another and your daughter was an easy way to do that. Girls are notorious for this, trying to act like a little clique by finding someone else to target, and a younger kid is an easy target, especially when they don't even have to be direct about it.

I'm glad your daughter didn't hear. I do know it kills us as parents to hear a mean word spoken about our kids, but there is no way to avoid it. Maybe use this as a teaching moment- almost more for yourself than your daughter. Make sure she knows that she is special, no matter what anyone ever says. Give her a good, solid foundation and build her self-esteem to keep her strong despite the mean girls (these girls or others)- they will eventually say something she does hear. Sigh. Good luck!

that's a tough one.
of course the best thing to do is nothing at all. she's entitled to her opinion, and for all you know your daughter has earned it. anyway, lots of older girls get snotty and superior about littler ones.
if the high road is just too high, saying something isn't the end of the world so long as you can keep anger and accusation out of it. 'pardon me, i'm curious as to why that girl annoys you. would you care to share?'
i mean, she probably won't. but there's a chance that a) she will, and you'll learn something or b) she'll be abashed and zip it.
but tempting as it is to look at her condemn her to the Mean Girls Club, without knowing what prompted it, there's not much to do. people dislike each other for all manner of reasons, and an 8 or 10 year old is still very much a child, and she's not evil for speaking frankly to a friend.
i get why it's very hard to hear, though.
khairete
S.

I would have continued doing what I was doing. I certainly would not have said anything to the girls. They are not required to like your daughter and they are entitled to their own opinion.

I probably would have ignored it. At most I might have asked them "why?" Maybe they have a reason, maybe they don't. Maybe you would gain some insight into your daughter. Maybe they will be more careful about talking about other people in the future. I might also ask my daughter if she knew those girls and see what she had to say. I wouldn't be upset. Not everybody has to like everybody else.

I would have done nothing. What did you plan on doing, bullying those girls into liking your daughter? I am 100% certain that there is not one human on earth who everyone likes. It is just not possible, too many different personalities.

There is nothing mean or rude about the girls discussing their feelings. Really it was not by the grace of god she didn't hear, she was past them, you were next to them, that is the only reason you heard them. Now if they had yelled at your daughter, we don't like you, or the one said I don't like you, that is mean, but that isn't what happened.

We're these girls possibly prematurely menopausal!? Lol

Lol BirdsFreakMeOut!

Seriously--I'd do nothing UNLESS they were saying it to my 6 year old, as my 6 year old was looking to me for help.

We mama bears feel like clawing out the eyes of kids like this. But we can't. Chances are your child will behave like this at some point in her life too. Kids are stilling learning social skills and don't know how to properly express themselves or to know that the way we feel one minute in time is not how we may feel 5 minutes later. Also recognize that an 8 year old, although older than your child, has still only been on the planet for 8 years. Had she moved here from Italy she'd still be learning the language - and so she's still learning the social language.

Walk away.

But if you feel any desperate need to say something you could say something like "I'm sorry you feel that way - she's my daughter and that hurt my feelings". And leave it at that. But I'd avoid even that. Hopefully she'll learn.

How I would handle it... Dagger looks in directions of the two kids who need to learn what it feels like to get caught talking negatively about someone in public.

I don't like hearing kids say mean stuff in general, especially in a public place, so even if they were talking about a totally different kid who ran by them I would have shot "the look". They need to learn to save it for their diaries or at least a more private location.

I feel bad for them...if they're 8 & 10 and have to pick on a 6 year old...that's on them. They clearly have no self-esteem.

I'd either ignore it, or I'd say, "Really? Why's that?" I wouldn't identify myself as the mother, just make it obvious in a simple question that an adult overheard them being mean. Usually kids shut up when an adult hears them, but sometimes they say something you can respond to. "She looks stupid" for example is easy to address. But you also have to be open to a possible thing your child might have said to these girls in the past or done to someone else in their presence. So if they say "She's not nice" you have to respond NOT with "Oh yes she is" but with "Oh really, what happened? What did she do?"

The point is to stay calm. if you incite them through a big lecture, it can get rough for your kid later on, but I do believe in addressing meanness and bullying by confronting it and not letting "mean girls" (or mean boys) get away with it.

I would have asked that girl, "Why?" in a puzzled tone, without first identifying myself as her mother. If she gives a reason, like, "She acts snobby", or something like that, I would ask how she could be more friendly. If, however, she answers in a very derogatory tone, I would tell her that she needs to think through who her friends are and how they should treat people, then identify yourself and tell her you are watching how this works out.