The main reason this bothers me is because I have a young 3 month old but...I was with a friend a few days ago and we had the kids playing at a public play area and after coming back from the bathroom she ask me quick if I can hold her 1 year old I said sure...she puts her in my arms and says "she just puked I need to clean it up" Ummm I think I was too shocked to say anything at the time. I do feel it was just a had to much greasy food and to much running around type of thing but what if it wasn't. I don't think I could do that to a friend. I don't know if I will ever really say anything, well unless she does it again sometime but...would you do this? I guess I am more of a don't spread the germs type of person...
Edit
I guess it is more of a "I didn't know the situation came in blind to what happened". If I was in the room and saw it for me it would be different, I am not a bad friend I don't think I could hand off a puking child to a friend with a newborn at home.
I have been through this personally my 3 month old is not my first child, no I did not change the age just because it was a type eror that I fixed, my apologies for doing so. I guess I am a bad mom for even thinking about this...Shame on me
I know germs happen and kids get sick, and they get sick in public, i have had this happen many times being a mom of many. And yes just being in that room exposes us to me it was more of the fact that the odds of getting sick are higher with the close contact... I think after reading all of this I have found that what I would have prefered was just a switch in how she said things "my child just threw up, can you hold her please so I can clean up" I know as a mom that sometimes things happen so fast that we don't think of these things...and I guess i posted this question without thinking first...blame it in the sleep deprevation...lol I guess we can consider this a DUH situation and be done
I would have had no problem doing this, in fact, I probably would have offered to hold the baby, or offer to get something to clean her up, before she had the chance to ask me to. That's just what friends do. I don't understand why you feel put off?
You know what? NO shame on you. Why should you be ashamed? She should know better than to just hand off her child without so much as asking if you could hold her for her.
I am disappointed in most of the responses you received. Today you held a child who had just vomited and then you came here to get vomited on by critical moms who apparently have no concern about bringing sickness home to their own kids.
NO shame on you. You are not a bad friend!
Your original post stated your baby as being 4 months old.
Regardless:
That's what friends do. They hold each other's children while they wash puke off their clothes.
What do you do when the cashier hands you your change? Scoff at them for exposing you to a potential illness? No. You take the money and wash your hands.
If the child was sick then your baby was already exposed by simply being at the playground with her. If the baby just threw up because she gagged on something or cried until she gagged herself...then the only thing you were liable to "catch" was another round of upset tummy from the little one!!!
Wait until you are trying to deal with a situation like this and you are going to find that you need an extra pair of hands to help out too!!! I am sure she was in such a state that she wasn't even thinking clearly!! Don't hold it against her.
You were in a public play place and your biggest worry is knowing that you held a child that had puked? Wash your hands and go home and change your clothes. You're not going to catch anything by holding a baby unless you lick your fingers after letting her suck on yours...and that didn't happen right?
Was it a little thoughtless? Yes? Is it something to be worried about? No. Unless you're living in a bubble, which you clearly aren't, she's been exposed to a multitude of germs.
My daughter will often cry until she pukes. The first thing on my mind isn't that she is sick...just to clean up the mess before the dogs try to eat it...lol. Ok ok, honestly, sometimes I let the dogs do most of the clean up.
Updated: Um, where did anyone say that you were a bad mom. Now you ARE being over-sensitive. You were ready to criticize your friend for being thoughtless. IF the kid was sick, you were alreadt exposed...licked fingers or not.
I do think you are over thinking this, and only seeing it from your side. If your baby spit up all over you and you needed to clean/change your shirt, would you hand the child to a friend? Most of us would, and there was no reason you could not simply wash your hands once you returned the child to its mother. I would say this was no big deal, but that is just my opinion.
I would have no problem helping my friend out by holding her child that just puked. Just wash your hands after you give her back. SHe probally thinks of you as a good friend and would do the same for you.
I would have had no problem helping a friend that needed to clean herself and her baby up.
It sounds like she needed help. Us mommies are not super woman...although we are pretty darn close :) You will see when your baby gets older, sometimes you need extra hands.
No you were not being too nice-just one Mommy helping another Mommy out.
B.
I would have held her baby. It would not have bothered me at all. There are times when I might need a little help and if I shun helping someone else in need, then they may shun me. Besides my kids were always gagging because they did not chew properly or choked on something. It's not really a big deal. My 2 year old threw up on the floor at church and a crippled lady was quicker at getting it cleaned up than I was. Of course, I started with pulling my daughters dress off and washing her up quickly before grabbing a handful of wet and dry paper towels to attack the floor with. I came running with the paper towels just as she finished wiping it up. I just went over it again to make sure it was clean and dry so no one would slip in it. I was really embarrassed that she cleaned it before I got to it. I felt so guilty, but honestly I was only a minute or two in yanking my daughters dress off and quickly wiping her down. Its not like I left it for 10 minutes or more, it all happened in less than 5 minutes. My daughter was not sick, just cried until she gagged.
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Ha! You may not think that now, but you may change your mind once you are in that situation yourself..
Just be sure to wash your hands or use hand sanitizer when in a situation like this.
Hey dont feel bad, my sister watches my daughter while I work, I live 30 minutes away from my sister, drove about 25 minutes and my daughter threw up right before we got there. My sister was kind enough to let us in her laundry room to promptly throw her funky clothes in the wash, then making us remain in the laundry room while she ran and got her extra clothes, and then she sent us home! Lol. Luckily she just had motion sickness from reading in the car, but the stomach flu is no joke and I would do anything to prevent that from happening to my kids. I just LOVE it when people think its ok to expose their sick children to others. Im not saying your friend knew her kid was sick, but it really makes me mad when people make plans with me, and then when we get together, they are like "Oh by the way, Im taking my kid to the doctor later because they are really sick" .......Really? Im so glad you could squeeze in our playdate beforehand. Thanks!
My daughter was the most car-sick kid you ever saw. That child spewed going around two corners just to get to the post office. (That's a bit of an exaggeration, but not much. Seriously). I'm so glad I had friends that would hold her after I got her clothes off and cleaned her up, not to mention the back seat, without thinking...."Hey, wait a minute. What if it ISN'T just car sickness this time?"
My daughter never would have been able to go anywhere in a car with other people and their kids if that were the case.
Kids aren't over the barfing and spitting up phase by a year old. It doesn't have to equal illness or a communicable disease.
Hold the phone! You are not a bad friend, bad Mom or any of that! I have not read any of the responses but whoever said you were a bad Mom or bad friend...SHAME ON THEM!! I would not have handed my puking child off to some one who has a young (or any, for that matter) child at home. She should have asked you just to sit with her or keep an eye on her instead. She could have also explained what had happened.
Kids are gonna get sick but that type of sick can be prevented!!
You have to do what is right for you and it's okay to say something if you are not comfortable with it.
I would have held the child, but I would have preferred to have been "forewarned" that she had just thrown up before she was handed to me. It's just common courtesy to give "full disclosure".
I would NEVER do that to a friend. Whether it was spreading germs or not, how are you to know until a couple of days down the road if they have continued flu symptoms. I did not read the other posts, and I hope they were positive and supportive, but I just wanted to let you know I agree with you. It is a bit presumptuous and rude to just hand off your vomiting child to a friend (unless of course at some point you and said friend have chatted about it and voiced an understanding that it would not be an issue). We, as a society, do have to be more conscious of how we deal with the spreading of germs. Not that everyone needs to be hyper paranoid and OCD about it, but common courtesy/decency, respect and common sense go a long way. I hope your situation was resolved on a positive note :)
All I know is that I would not have done that to a friend (baby or not). I don't blame you for being a bit put off.
I would be a little upset if I KNEW the kid was sick... definitely not cool to be sharing germs if she knows you have a young baby at home... but since you said you think it was from the activity and food, I wouldn't have a problem.
I don't think either of you are in the wrong- she was panicing and didn't know what to do, so she did what she thought of first. You weren't panicing and thought "Why would I hold a sick kid when I have an infant?" OK, that being said- take boths sides for what they are. You guys are friends, and if you want that to continue you forgive and forget. I always go back to my husband and myself because we are together almost 24/7 with our kids and we both mess up things like this constantly- we have different thought processes that are not wrong, but at the time- everyone handles things differently.
If you were already with this mom and child for a little while if she was sick you were already exposed. Good handwashing and a quick change of clothes when you got home would have been your only protection, If you have a delicate immune system or your child does head home for the winter, otherwise use common sense wah hands often or use hand sanitizer, don't touch your face unless you just washed hands, and be a good friend when someone needs a hand,
