So i found out that we have lost a family member 9/18/13.We lost are grandpa and the kids adored there grandpa.I dont know how to tell them after i got the letter yesterday.I never really lost anyone when my eldest was born.How can i tell them?Its to hard for me and my husband right now.
they did call though BUT they put him in the newspaper and it got it first.I am going to his funeral,i am flying out Wed.
my kids are ages 10 yr old ,8 yr old ,6 yr old 2 yr old ,and 3 month old
You just tell them. They deserve to know. Now that it is the weekend, it is a good time to say something. I think the 10, 8, & 6 year old are old enough to tell. Chances are the 2 year old will not understand. I would not do more than let him/her give grandpa's photo a kiss and tell him/her to say miss you or something. That way, they will grow older knowing his photo, as well as knowing he is no longer with them.
It depends on how old the children are. Don't lie to them whatever you do. They deserve the chance to grieve the same as you do. It's all right for them to see you sad. It's all right for them to be sad and grieve. Don't think that you have to make things "better" for them.
We were there when my father-in-law passed away. The family was expecting it for a while, but it was still a shock for the children. They did get to see him the morning he died after it happened, so they got to give him a kiss to say good-bye. They attended the funeral with us. We let them cry, and we talk about it whenever they want to. It'll be two years next month.
We also talk to them about it based on our own spiritual and religious beliefs for a frame reference.
Our = belongs to us
Are = it's happening right now
There = it's not over here but over there
Their = it belongs to them
Just tell them. Keep it simple. I am assuming, that since you were told via the mail,that this grandfather or great-grandfather was not in your very day life. So for them, it probably won't have much of an impact.
Are there no phones or internet availability where you or your family is located that would make the only way possible to notify you of a beloved family member's death.
That's horrible to find out via the mail 3 days later which also means you most likely can't go to the services and at least get some closure.
How often did you see and connect with Grandpa? I'm appalled Taft someone did not make a better effort to notify you.
At this point, you do what you have to do... Be strong, honest, and communicate with your children to help them understand.
I am so sorry you had to be notified in such a non-personal manner. Best wishes to your family.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My mother-in-law died on Tuesday, and we just told our boys; we told them gently, but in a straight-forward manner. They are 15 and 9. They were sad, but they were/are much more concerned about my husband and I. They weren't close to their grandmother because she lived in a different state, and they didn't see her often. Unfortunately they have been through the death of family members several times before. Like others have mentioned, children seem to handle death better than adults. We are a Catholic family, and pray together. That helps us to deal with our grief. It helps our boys, too. I hope your family finds peace.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Just be straight forward and in honest telling them.
That's what my mom did and it has helped me immensely in my adult life.
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
Just be straight forward and in honest telling them.
That's what my mom did and it has helped me immensely in my adult life.
You got a letter to tell you your grandfather had passed away? How sad, they don't have a phone? Or you don't? That's terribly hard for you to not have the option to go to his funeral too.
If the kids are older then just tell them. If they're not very old don't worry about telling them anything yet.
If you adored him how did you "just find out" he died 3 days ago? Just wondering.
I love my grandpa. He's 95 and lives in AZ. However I talk to him once a month only.... so I guess he doesnt fall under "I ADORE him" rules--- I will get a call eventually that states "Your grandfather has passed", but since I dont talk to him EVERY day, I cant expect to be shocked or devastated when I do finally receive that call.... just say'n. Dont let it traumatize you.
I found that kids many times take news of death better than grown ups. I would tell them that grandpa went to heaven but is still looking down on them.
We just straight up told our 6 year old. She knew Grandpa was sick, so we just told her that he had been sick and he died. She asked if he was in Heaven playing with Tootsie (our dog who passed away last year) and we said it was possible. This happened over the summer and every once in a while she will tell us she's sad about Grandpa, and cry a little, but we tell her we're all sad and it's ok to cry.
