How to Tell If Nanny Is Drugging Kids

When my husband is watching my son he falls asleep too at nap time, so he doesn't hear if my son is fussing a little and doesn't get him at every little squeak like I do. Maybe the nanny is sleeping too.

If you're really nervous, do the nanny cam thing. But I know that my son won't sleep for me, but he'll sleep for others (sitter, childcare, etc.) It's not fair! LOL. Do what you need to do to feel comfortable, but it's very possible that she sleeps for her.

It's actually pretty normal for kids to sleep differently with different people.

My mum used to watch my son several days a week for me (total of about 8 hours for the week). He'd never take more than a 45minute nap with her... BUT

- She wouldn't give him hot chocolate or warm milk in bed
- She tiptoed around the house being really quiet.
- She would put him down "late" half the time
- If he fell asleep in the car she wouldn't bring him in and lay him down, but grabbed a book and read in the car while he slept.

ANY of these things (from experience) would shorten his sleep:

- If he was hungry, he'd wake up
- if he was overtired, he wouldn't sleep as long
- If it was dead silent, he'd barely sleep (we went around our normal business; cleaning/ studying/ talking/ etc while he was sleeping... plus we lived in an apt that was always noisy)
- He would only sleep in his carseat for a long period if the car was moving, but he'd transfer really well.

I can't speak as to what your nanny is doing... but another thing to know:

Most sleep aids have a "minimum" time the work, regardless of the dose. Benedryl for example is one of the short acting ones, it lasts for about 4 hours. Most last 8-10.

I would be very surprised if she was giving him anything.

She probably wouldn't be telling you that your daughter naps for 3 hours if she really drugged them.

But if this possibility crossed your mind, maybe you should look for a nanny you truly trust.

It sounds like you have a trust issue with the Nanny if that is the first thing that comes to mind when your child takes an extended nap. Unless you have had prior issues with her then I would be very careful bringing this up unless you want to lose your Nanny. I would chalk it up to playing hard and burning more energy. However, if you gut is telling you otherwise then by all means investigate. (Just my 2 cents)

I definitely think that children sleep differently with different people and in different environments.
I did daycare, I've taken care of lots of kids, both in my home home and theirs. I had one mom who didn't believe me that her son was walking because she had never seen it. (It was 20 years ago and we didn't have video phones and things like that). One day when they were home together, she thought it was about time for him to wake up from his nap and she peeked in....she caught him in the act! Walking all around his room like a seasoned pro. I'd known her for years and she totally trusted me, but she still had not believed me one bit that her son was walking. And of course he wouldn't do it when she dropped him off or picked him up. She thought I was full of it.
Anyway, I can't explain why your baby may nap longer with the nanny, but it sounds like she's got a good and successful sleep pattern going on.
If she were being drugged in some way, I would think it would be noticeable and your daughter would either be really groggy or hyperactive or extremely fussy. I worked for a pediatric dental specialist and sometimes kids had to be medicated for dental work and some of them really freaked out because the drugs made them feel weird and they didn't understand it would wear off in a little while. The ones who didn't freak out, slept through everything and slept through the rest of the day or were extremely hyper. Many medicines that say "may cause drowsiness" have the exact opposite effect on children. I think you'd be able to tell if your baby was being drugged. She naps 1.5 to 2 hours regularly so you're talking about a 1 hour difference with the nanny. 60 minutes. Drugging your baby would have a way more than one hour influence on her sleep patterns, in my opinion.

If you don't trust your nanny, then do what you have to do, to be sure.
But take all things and possibilities into consideration before assuming your child is being drugged.

I haven't read any of the other answers but during the week my 18mo takes naps that can last up to four hours! But on the weekends it's usually only 1.5 to maybe two. I believe it's because her daddy is home and she knows it therefore she only sleeps a short amount of time so she can spend time with him. If you truly feel that your nanny is drugging her then go get a blood test and rule it out. Tell your doctor so they know what they might be looking for.

i had a little girl that i used to watch. when she was at my house she would sleep for 3 hours maybe longer if i let her, but her mom always said she would never nap at home. lol i never had any problems getting the girl to nap just laid her down awake and went and got her up 3 hours later

I recently watched my nephew every weekday for about 6 weeks, and was expecting naptime to be a total battle but he slept great for me. He has always been in daycare and slept good there, but my house isn't a daycare. He never naps at home. So my sister was shocked when I told her he was napping easily for me and for 2-3 hours at a time. If you have no evidence of the nanny giving him benedryl or something, I wouldn't worry about it. I don't know anything about drugging, but it would seem to me if she was giving your daughter something to sleep in the day, it would mess up her sleep habits at night and you would notice. I know the few times I have given benedryl to my 2 year old, it might make him fall asleep better, but his sleep gets totally messed up for days from it. He doesn't stay asleep as well. So I wouldn't worry about it.

My son is in a Mom's Day Out a couple of days per week and in a daycare the other 3 days right now (I am in chemo and don't have the energy to take care of him) and has about a 1.5-2 hour nap on those days. On the weekends, when he is at home in his own bed, he will sleep for 3 hours, sometimes more. I think he is just so happy to be in his own bed and his room is darker and more quiet than the childcare places that he just sleeps! If the nanny takes your daughter outside to play a lot, that could make her sleep harder at naptime. I have also found that he does down for a nap earlier when he is at school. I put him down around 1pm or so at home and that may be why he sleeps longer too (he's more tired from being up later).

I think that an accusation of drugging your kid is a pretty huge one and if you don't have any other reason to suspect that your nanny is doing something inappropriate, then you are risking destroying that relationship if you approach her about it. I guess it all depends on if you have any other feelings or reasons for suspecting she isn't doing the right thing by your child. If that is the case, then I would make other childcare arrangements. If you really like her and want the nanny to stick around, then I wouldn't bring up your suspicions without proof.

This is a tough situation! I hope you are able to resolve it in everyone's best interest. Good luck!

My kids sleep much better at daycare. My 5 year old naps there everyday but refuses (we let her refuse) to at home. I am always amazed by this. I think that its because of 2 things: One, she listens so much better to her daycare lady about rules and Two, she plays harder at daycare.
I am not suggesting that you dont give your daughter all the attention she needs, but the nanny is there just for her and can give her 100% one on one attention. That can wear her out for sure...

If you're concerned, buy a nanny cam.

I hope it's not that though...

Ok, as a mom...I say when you have a gut instinct you should NEVER ignore it...but as a person who has worked as a nanny and as a person who babysits others children presently I will tell you that this is NORMAL. Children who won't nap at all for mom or dad will pop off to sleep for a 2 and a half or 3 hour nap for me. We play hard, but it is more moms and dads will let kiddos get away with it and as the Nanny or babysitter...it is nap time you nee a rest. One of my little guys just turned 4 and I know for a fact that he rarely naps for mom, but she would like him too, otherwise he is cranky in the evening. Some days I will take the tact, you don't have to sleep but you have to lay quietly and off he goes to sleep with not even a fuss, other days when I know they have played hard I can say naptime and no squabbling.

Most of the time whether we like it or not, our children will be better behaved for others than they are for us. Follow up on it if you have an uneasy feeling, but you might just want to ask if your caregiver has any tips for you, a GOOD nanny/caregiver would not be offended, most caregivers I know want the parents to feel at ease and trust them.

Maybe she's just stretching the time and rounding up. Maybe the child went down at 11 something and got up before 2pm so she just says 3 hours. The bigger concern to me is that you are even considering that she is drugging your child. If this has crossed your mind as a possibility, I'd be getting a new nanny.

Honestly, if this is your gut feeling, go with it. I rather be wrong than have someone injure my kids. My daughter was physically abused by a daycare provider and from experience I say trust your gut.

At daycare my son (2) sleeps 1.5 - 2 hours, at home on the weekends, a good 2.5-3 hours. I think it could be the environment. Maybe other caregivers are louder, or they just play harder certain days. Maybe she just doesn't want to miss anything when you are there? If you don't want her to sleep that long, have the nanny wake her up earlier. I don't think she is being drugged, unless you have notice other symptoms, I just think that kids differ on their surroundings.

Hi A.,

I've experienced this as well w/our daycare. I have a 2.5 y.o. and 9 month old attending and both are reported to sleep long hours there that we don't witness at home. Our little one cat naps and our toddler will always try to skip his afternoon nap w/us. I suspect that they may be a little different with other people. For our toddler it seems that he sees the other kids going down and follows their lead. With our baby she might just give up on mom not being around and nap it off. I don't know what their secret is but there are at least 6 people on staff and I don't suspect they are drugging them. I'm also curious if other parents have experienced this.

Maybe she is actually only sleeping like 2 hrs, but it takes her some time to fall asleep, and the nanny isn't getting her out of her crib as fast as you would (like leaving her in there after she is awake as long as she is quietly playing or something) so the nanny reports it as 3 hrs? Maybe ask her about it in that way, or joke to the nanny that she sleeps so good for you...what's your trick? On the other hand, mothers intuition is very powerful, if you have doubts or concerns maybe you should trust them....in my experience, my kids sleep about the same with us or others. I'm not buying the "playing so hard she sleeps longer" theory.

yep, i watch almost 3 year old boy. At my house we have nap time, he for naps 2 hours in pack n play.His mom can't believe that he not only naps, but stays in pack n play.

If you trust this person, i would not jump to any conclusions. My son goes to daycare and will sleep anywhere from 2-3 hours for a nap there but at home its only an hour to an hour and a half. I think he just plays harder there and all the other kids are sleeping so he sleeps longer. At home i think he knows we are still up so he dont sleep as long. It is just what he is used to at each place, so i really wouldnt be to concerned if you really do truly trust your nanny.

Maybe you could share with your nanny that you're having trouble getting her to sleep that long. Perhaps ask her to tell you in detail the routine that she goes through and to keep track of the times she wakes up and goes to sleep. Also tell her that if her naps are getting shorter, it's okay. This may just be a case of the nanny exaggerating how long your child is sleeping so that she looks like superwoman. My daughter sleeps differently with everyone, me, her father, our nanny, my mother, my inlaws etc... Your daughter may also stir and your nanny doesn't go to her right away and she falls back asleep while you would get her immediately (we have the reverse situation with my parents). The fact that you're jumping to drugging makes me think you don't trust this person very much. You can also tell her you need to be called anytime she gives your daughter any type of medication, even teething stuff. The other issue may be that your daughter is so excited to be around you that she wakes up and wants to play right away with mom. Good luck!

Maybe ask your almost 2 year old, it is a long shot if you get any where with the question with your 2 yr old. Ask your child what you do before nap time, if she takes anything before going down for nap... not sure that you will get any answer from the child but you never know. If the child repeats to the nanny that you asked this question (or similar) just say you talk with your child every day on what they did that day.

With my daughter she would take a 3 hr nap when she was between 1 - 3 years old, this is when she is at home... BUT when she is at grandmas she only took a 1.5 - 2 hr nap. Just different setting and I know that at home we can play pretty hard right after lunch till nap time (around 2pm for us) so we get a good 2 hr ALL energy out play time. Now at 3.5 years old my daughter's nap has dropped to 1.5 hrs no matter where she is.

I do not know of side effects to look for... maybe some one else can help you with that.

Maybe just ask the nanny, "What is your secert to getting the kids take such a good long nap? We usually can only get your child to take a 1.5 - 2 hr nap." Not like she will come out and say if she is doing something "illegal" to get the child to sleep but the nanny may just give you a more in-depth look at what they do. As anothe rmom said, you seem to have trust issues with the nanny if this is the first thing that pops into your head... has there been issues in the past that you do not trust the nanny 100%? I would tread very lightly if you want to investigate this... personally if I even thought it I would give two weeks notice and look for a new nanny because I want to trust the nanny 100% when I am not with my child.

It is possible that there are more rigorous activities on the days the nanny has your child. My kids would sleep like logs some days if they were run around by someone with lots of energy, or went out for activities at the park for hours at a time.

You could install a nanny cam then you would know exactly what is going on.

Could it be that the the nanny is highly active with the child during the day? If so, maybe the baby is actually tired and taking a great nap.

If I had the concern, I'd pick up some sort of drug test/checker at the pharmacy (or online). Place the test in your daughter's diaper at night. Check every 10-20 minutes...then you should have your answer.

Also - schedule a "drop-by". Don't let her know yo'u've taking a personal day, then stop by during nap time etc...

A. R
First is your child with other kids on the other days? When you put your child down for a nap does she act like you are not doing it the way the nanny does?
You do not say what time you come home or what your child naps why come home around that time for a surprise lunch with mommy? Also I would ask what else they do during the day. When I was a nanny there were plenty of times I got the kids to sleep longer then the parents it was just that my focus was on them they were the job so they had most of the attention so then we did a lot more walks and outside time and no TV during the daylight.
Also just a quick note when my mom cares for my sister kids they nap about a hour longer then when at their own homes and she takes them for a long walk right after lunch then it is to nap time the kids all walk starting at 2 for this walk and they all nap for about 2.5-3 hours.
Good Luck
J.

as a retired army doctor I can suggest this : a simple blood test will reveal any tell tale chemical proof of a sleep inducing drug being given to your child within a 48 hour time limit since it takes that much time for the body functions to void certain chemicals out of the blood stream via bowel or bladder, make sure that you insists that your family doctor has the lab tech do testing for any type of residual traces of sleep aid chemicals , if the tests come back positive . you can take this nanny to court for child endangerment . paschar

I would have never though of that, but I suppose it's a possibility. Just some questions to ask yourself...how well do you know the nanny, how long has she been taking care of your daughter, and how long has this sleep pattern been going on? Could it be that she is transitioning to a different sleep pattern? Or maybe the nanny puts her down for 3 hours, but she doesn't actually sleep the whole time and maybe plays quietly for part of the time?

If you continue to be concerned, you can discreetly get more information from your nanny. Explain that you have been wondering about your daughter's sleeping, and just want to collect some information to see if you can find a pattern. You could ask the nanny (and any other caregivers) to help you keep a log of activities. For a few weeks, everyone can write down when she starts the nap or goes to sleep, and when she wakes up, and what type of activity she was doing in the morning (quiet or active, inside or outside, etc.)

Sometimes just more information can set your mind at ease.
And if there is a problem with the nanny, it might be good for her to be aware that you are on top of things.

abnormal sleep habits with a "certain person" would cause concern for me. Maybe set up a security camera, and just see what is going on. Don't accuse without evidence.

Blood test is great advice!

I haven't read your entire post, nor any of the responses. But my gut response is... if you are even asking this question, there's a problem.

Ok, now I'm going to read everything.

Ok, now that I've read more, I'm thinking that maybe your Nanny is telling you this in a misguided attempt to impress you? Perhaps she thinks this reflects positively on her in some way. I'd express the importance of accuracy with her. Maybe tell her that your daughter's sleep has been a little off, and you just want to chart her sleep times. And actually do that. List her wake/sleep time for each day, and write down the time she goes down for her nap, and the time she wakes for her nap everyday. And keep it a running list so the Nanny sees your times, as well as her own. She will see that her times are out of sync with yours if she's embellishing a little. But again, I'd express the need for accuracy so you can see just what's going on with your daughter. Sure, it involves a little fib, but so what?

On the other hand, if you seriously have any reason to think your daughter is being given any kind of sleep aid, no person's feelings are worth your daughter's safety. But of course you know that.

Best wishes.

I don't think you have reason for concern. When a child is with someone else and they interact one on one, I'm sure they both get played out. I know my children when they went to daycare, the provider would tell me the same thing. Oh she slept for 2 and a half hours today. Did she stay up late last night? No she was always on a schedule for her sleep at bedtime as I had to get up early to go to work. This daycare provider would even call me at work to say my daughter wasn't well, running a fever etc. Can you meet me at the hospital? She went way beyond her means as a daycare provider. If your gut feeling is telling you something is just not right then you should act on it.
I am almost certain that your Nanny is one special lady and she is totally with it looking after your child. Try not to worry however if it continues' Act.
Take care my dear and don't over react.

Hi,
On the rare occasions when I give my children Benadryl for allergies or cough medicine, I can see that they are very drowsy for many hours. If your child just seems to sleep an extra hour with the nanny, I really don't see how she could be giving her any sleep aids. You would be able to detect drowsiness many hours after a nap, if she were truly giving some type of drug. Maybe she's just extra tired or bored with the nanny.

Call your childs Dr in the morning this isn't something to even question if that is your gut insticnt go with it the nurse or Dr will give you information on the signs to look for or order a blood test. what if she overdoses your child in the mean time by accident and you come home the nanny say's your child has been asleep for sometime now and you walk in and find your child breathless.If the nanny is doing this to your child you have every right to file charges on her because you didn't authorize any medication to be given to your child depeneding on what is found in your child it could be very bad for the nanny she may lose her license.Would you want this to happen to someone else's child if you knew about it?I wouldn't that would way so heavy on my heart.As for the question about sleeping with other caregivers mine don't thye did as a newborn if I had to leave them but other than an over nite stay they don't nap if they do it's a short cat nap after lunch.It is possible that she is playing and very active have you asked questions like what went on during the day did they go somewhere anything that would make sense to her napping for so long.I hope to hear that you called your Dr and some professional advice was given to you.

They sell drug test kits at Walgreens and a lot of drug stores. I'll bet one of those would set your mind at ease without even having to bring it up!

Blood test and a Nanny camera.

Use hidden cameras in your home.

I wish you the best and I hope she is not giving
your baby anything.

God bless.

It is normal for kids to sleep longer for someone else rather than you. My daughter, would fight tooth and nail not to nap at home, would nap for 2 hours at daycare. I've also seen this w/ family members. Please don't be suspicious of your nanny, who sounds great. If you have concerns, get a nanny cam.

Hi
I know it feels like you're going crazy, but I have a similar situation sort of. My 8 month old daughter has slept through the night (for the most part) since she was about 9 weeks old. We do not keep a strict schedule, but there are definite patterns to what we/she does. But...I've always felt like it's to get her down for naps. Or she'll go down but doesn't sleep for long. She is still nursing and while that is very comforting to her, I never know how much milk she is really getting. With the bottle, it's easy to see that she is full and satisfied. The nanny stays home with her 3 days a week and bottle feeds breast milk. I'm amazed and frustrated to see that she takes 2 - 3 naps with her with her long nap lasting 2-3 hours on pretty consistent basis. I'm thrilled to know that she is rested. And I sometimes work from home so I see how the interact together. But on the days where I'm home with her, I'm often frustrated with the results of my efforts. I think the difference in my situation is that we're always doing a million things at once, I'm less strict about keeping her on a schedule, and as much as I want to believe that I have all the patience in the world, I am probably thinking "ok, how quickly can I get her down and what am I going to do next." Whereas the nanny is entirely focused on her, she has a routine that she sticks to, and she will patiently rock her to sleep. To put your mind at ease, maybe you can pop in unannounced around nap time, or work from home on occasion without telling her and see what happens. It's probably fine. Good luck.

I'd personally not jump to this conclusion just yet.

Who knows what the nanny considers a nap. She may consider leaving your daughter in her crib to cry herself into a nap and then leaving her there until she fusses enough to go get her the 3 hour nap. Personally, I'd get my kids as soon as I heard them wake-up.

It could also be that the nanny plays differently with her and really physically wears her out in a different way that she's not getting with other people.

Our kids sleep completely differently at day care than they do on the weekends with us. They have so much more of a routine there than we do at home with errands, play dates, etc.

At 2, is your daughter verbal enough to be able to tell you the differences between what the Nanny does with her and what other family members do? It might be worth asking before jumping to conclusions.

Good luck. I hope it's not what you think may be happening.

m

I really suspect it's a communication issue. Give her a journal to write down times for things happening to give you a little more information. Consider a nanny cam.

But also ask more questions about what she means by that. Maybe she's thinking of nap time as the time from when she decides it's nap time, including all the time it takes to put the child down, through the next play activity starting once she's up again. And probably she's rounding up to be pleased with herself. A lot of the time people don't really look at clocks and have a bad sense of time. It may be that once she slept 3 hours and she noticed, and since has just been guesstimating that it was about that long this time.

Stay home one day with the excuse that you need to catch up on some housework, while she's still working for you. See how things happen that day. It should tell you more about what she's doing and real times.

I ran a nanny agency, and most of these women were not the most anal about details after lots of years of child care. Probably she's just rounding up or including prep time or something that isn't obvious.

Hi A.,

Megnatic suggested a drug test kit. Not a bad idea. Nanny cams are another way to see what's going on in the home. Do you ever drop in unexpectedly? That's always a good idea.

After saying that, I'll tell you what I found after nannying for two years. I took care of two delightful little ones. When I started they were 3 years old and 6 months old. They did take longer naps with me because I played extra hard with them. We would run in the back yard and play games. I also enforced the chores that mom had outlined for the three year old. I know moms do those things with kids, but not everyday. It could just be that your little one is extra tired.

The nanny may have an explanation but this is your child and you need to get to the bottom of this now. Any nanny that is worth anything will not be offended by questions.

M.

maybe hide a video camera in the babies room or another room and tape her to see if you get anything.

I know you've already received a bunch of answers, but I had to write because my 2 year old son does the EXACT same thing. Naps for 3 hours w/ the nanny almost every time, and about 1 1/2 hours w/ us. Fortunately I trust our nanny a lot, and the thought of a sleep aid never entered my mind. My husband and I have finally concluded that we think our son gets a bit bored w/ our nanny. When we're around, he can't wait to get up and play w/ us, and when he knows the nanny is there, he doesn't mind continuing to sleep. Not sure if that's correct, but it's the only way I can explain it!

OMG I'm going through the same thing. What is the answer? I took my year old to the park for two hours had her climb and crawl all over the park- I tried to get her as tired as I could. I put her down for nap at 12 just like my nanny said she does. She didn't fall asleep until 1:15 and woke up at 2:40. I pick her up at 3pm and she is still sleeping. Yesterday she fell asleep in the stroller at 1:15 according to the nanny and stayed asleep in the stroller until 3:20. I just don't get it. I really like this woman and have friends who say they know her well but I don't understand how she stays asleep for so long. My baby stays at her house so I can't put a camera. Any suggestion? I can drop by but I don't see how that would matter. I have to wait at the door for a couple minutes anyways.

this is very serious..if u have a gut feeling i would get rid of this nanny..seems odd that your child sleeps longer though i have read that sometimes children behave differently with babysitters...will sleep better for them ..i would take my child in for blood work right after the nanny leaves...sigh...sad that u have to worry about this..
could the nanny be exaggerating the length of the nap? nanny cam??

Nanny cam. Or switch nannies. You will never feel right leaving your child with her otherwise. My kids always have weird sleep habits with other people. BUT. You have got to follow your instincts.