How to Tell a Three Year Old Your Dog Is Going to Doggie Heaven

I was going through a 5 dollar bin at Wal-Mart and saw the movie "All Dogs Go To Heaven". I watched it when I was little, maybe ya'll could sit down and watch it together!!

I am so sorry for you. We (I) just had to make that decision for our 12y dog in March of this year. He was the best pound pup ever! He had cancer in his leg and the suggested treatment was amputation of his front leg.

When I made the call, we then had to wait 3 hours for an appointment for when there weren't alot of people in the office. During that downtime I took Thunder to Wendy's and got him a double cheeseburger and fries (we NEVER willingly gave him people food although he had learned quick where to be at dinner time). He loved it! He woofed it down so fast I should've bought 2. We also decided to not bring him home. I did however get a paw print mold from the vet.

The kids had known that Thunder was seeing the vet to talk about the growth on his leg. We had the kids both hug him, say good luck, etc. The 9y figured it out as soon as I walked in without the dog. We told the 3y that that vet said that Thunder was really sick and that he had to stay at the vets and play with his friends there. He was too sick to come home and we couldn't visit. She took it well.

Occasionally she'll get sad and make a comment like 'I sure wish the vet would let puppy visit', but after a few minutes she's fine.

Our vet had offered to send the bill to the house in a few weeks so that we didn't have to worry about that on the day with all of the raw emotions, but I asked them if I could just go ahead and pay the bill so that I didn't have it just show up in 2 weeks and have the emotions come up again.

Sending hugs.
M.

3 is pretty young to understand death, no matter what you say. Heaven, doggie heaven, up in the sky (which makes no sense to a kid), he got sick and "died", then we put him in the ground forever, or just "went away". He can't wrap his mind around most of it. The best way to help him is to get another pet, maybe even before you put you dog down. Then they can miss the older dog together.

There is a great book by Cynthia Rylant called Dog Heaven. It is perfect for preschoolers. See if your library has it. Here is a link to it on Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Dog-Heaven-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/059041...

My parents dog recently had to be put to sleep. He was 18-19 years. My 4 year old and 2 year old were very attached to him. My husband and I thought that they were not old enough yet to understand death so we told them that the dog has been very sick so he has to go live with a veterinarian so the doctor can take care of him all day and night. Now when they go to visit my parents they occasionally still ask where the dog is and they still draw pictures of him. So we sometimes have to remind them that he lives with a doctor now.

I'm sorry to hear about your pup. That's hard enough to handle on your own let alone explaining it to a toddler. Last summer our family lost both of our dogs within two months of eachother. They were 16 and 10. Our son had just turned two at the time. We simply told him that the dog was very sick and went to heaven. He interpreted it as going to heaven way high up in the sky. He still mentions the dogs and tells us they were sick went to heaven. Once he starts to really understand what heaven is as he gets older it'll make more sense to him.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

maybe get him a golden retriever stuffed animal that he can hug any time he misses Macho.

as for converstaion, to go along with the book suggestion, just simply say "Macho is sick and the dr. can't fix him.... He's not going to be with us anymore." then "Where's he going, mom?" "Well he's going to doggie heaven. He'll get to run and play with all the other doggies up there....."

There is an excellent book called "Dog Heaven" that is very kid (and adult) friendly.

It is very comforting and you can go back to it over and over again when you are missing your doggie.

Losing a dog is never easy, but particularly difficult when we need to explain it to our kids. I am sorry.
B.

First off, I'm very sorry about your poor pup, I know that it's a hard decision and hard to let go.

I think the best way to handle death is directly. We're sorta programmed to shield our kids from the ugly things in life, but this is something they are going to have to understand, so beating-around-the-bush is (IMO) not the best way to go. When our dog died (unexpectedly) I told my girls (aged 3 and 5 at the time) the truth- Molly got very, very hurt and she died and now she's in doggy heaven where she is happy and healthy. This was their first experience with death, and I was really trying not to use the word, but ultimately I knew that the only way for them to fully understand that Molly had died was to specifically say "Molly died." Gently, of course, but directly. They were sad, yes, but had only a few questions, which mostly popped up later.

I think, also, that the suggestions on getting a stuffed animal and a book specifically for this situation would be very useful in helping your son work through his grief. Good luck.

We had to send our Maci to heaven last summer she too was sick. My kids at the time were 2,7,8/12,11,13. We told them that Maci was going to heaven and that she died. We have had many relatives die and go to heaven so the topic was not completely foreign to them. They still talk about her from time to time but with time all losses become easier to deal with. Good luck and I am sorry to hear about Macho.
J.

Dear S.,

I'm so sorry. If Macho hasn't gone to doggie heaven yet - take some pictures of Macho with your three year old. Give your 3 year old the pictures to keep him company when he wants to "talk" to Macho.

C.

My daughter lost her betta fish late last year when she was barely 3. She cried and still talks about him. We told her that the fish died. We also let her cry and told her it is ok to miss the things that we love. It is ok to talk about the people and things that we love and it is ok to be sad when they have to leave. We did get another fish, but she still talks about Mr. Fishy. I am not looking forward to when our golden retriever and cat pass because not only will she be grieving, but I will be as well. I think that validating his feelings and making sure that he knows it is alright to grieve are good things. Also allow him to see you grieve so that he knows it is OK. Good luck and I am so sorry to hear of your pet.

Good luck!

Do NOT get another dog before your beloved pet is put down. The dog has enough to deal with without having a bouncy young dog come into the house! Wait a bit then talk to your child about a new dog. Find a copy of the Rainbow Bridge. We sat with our dog(s) as they gently slipped away.

Do you remember the movie, Bambi? When Bambi's mother died? I think Bambi's father said it best (very simply, with honesty and compassion). "Your mother can't be with you anymore. Come and walk with me." I'm so sorry about your dog. My son was nearly one when we both came home to find Bart-the-Cat dead in the hallway. My son was patient and quiet while I dealt with the situation (I was pretty emotional). He remembers Bart, points to his picture from time to time, and definetly remembers the lessons he learned from Bart (Bart taught him "gentle").

there is a great book out there called Dog Heaven. It is perfect for anyone and any age and it is really fantastic! i am not very religious but it was still a comfort for me