How to Teach 3 Year Old About Stranger Danger Without Freaking Them Out?

I used to play a game with my kids: I would make up what would you do scenerios (sp) and ask questions related to dangerous situations mixed in with regular questions
- I would say something like "what would you do it the cat was hungry" kids would say "feed the cat"

- "what would you do if you got lost in the store"
Kids - "tell someone that worked there"

- What would you do if someone asked you to help them find their pet"
kids - "shout no and run inside"

We played this game in the car or when just hanging around.

I always included some funny questions or everyday questions mixed in with the serious questions. I think this gave my kids the tools to do what was right to keep them safe without scaring them.

I don't much care for the term 'stranger danger'... after all, we talk to strangers in everyday life... The teller at the bank, the person taking your order, the checkout person at the grocery store...

I think it's more appropriate to teach him about how to SAFELY approach strangers...

Like, if he ever gets separated, try to talk to a woman with kids, or go into a store and ask for help... That Good Adults won't try to get little kids to help them for anything, and that Good Adults will always ask Mommy's permission before giving kiddo candy. Good Adults will ask other adults when they need help, not kids (even if they are SUCH big helpers!) I know that one ploy I have heard of is that a stranger will ask a kid to help them look for a puppy or whatever... NEVER to go anywhere with someone he doesn't know... etc. I'm not sure of what books or videos are appropriate for this, but I assume there are plenty out there! I'm willing to bet at least one other momma will answer with a specific resource. :)

I think the term "stranger danger" is crazy. There really isn't any reason to teach your kids that anyone they don't know is dangerous. l have a 4 1/2 year-old who wants to talk to talk to everyone we meet. As long as he is with a trusted adult, and at his age, he always is, the only harm is that he potentially says something embarrassing. What we stress is that he is never, under any circumstances to go anywhere with someone he does't know, that his parents will never send someone he doesn't know to pick him up from school, stuff like that. We role play so he has some practice.I don't want my kids to think that anyone we don't know is to be feared. What happens if my son gets lots at the mall or some other public place? By teaching "stranger danger" I've made a bad situation worse. Now, not only can't he find me, but all the people around him are scary. Instead we teach some common sense rules like, if you get lost and can't find mom or dad, ask a mom or a woman for help.

I haven't read the other answers, but please do NOT focus on "stranger" danger. I had "minor" incidents of inappropriate contact from a family member and later a neighbor. They were NOT strangers. Strangers have never hurt me. Cops, firemen, store clerks, etc., all the people that will HELP your child when they are lost, etc., are ALL strangers.

The focus needs to be more on them trusting themselves and their gut feeling, knowing what is appropriate and what is not, and learning that they can say no to people, even adults, if the adults are doing something wrong.

The library may have age appropriate books to help, and ask your pedi for recommendations.

I have asked this question before and just recently talked to my pediatrician about it too. Everyone has said realistic, honest communication is best. I like the idea of giving kids traits of what a "good person" looks like: they will not give you anything without checking with parents first, they will never ask you to go somewhere without checking with parents first, etc.
Last summer, my two year old daughter got separated from me at the zoo for about ten minutes. The most horrifying time of my life! Afterward, I just talked to her and my son about what to do if that should ever happen again such as look for another mom with kids, taught them mom and dad's full names and phone numbers.
My kids are really outgoing and love to talk to people. I hate to discourage that trait, but at the same time I don't want them to be afraid of people in case they need their help one day.
HTH,
A.

Have you seen the movie Tangled? They show the witch kidnapping the baby and raising her as her own daughter. I told my daughter thats why she needs to stay with me when we are out in public, because someone might snatch her up just like that. Since the witch really didnt do anything that bad to her, I dont think it was really that scary for her. Its funny Ive noticed she watches that part of the movie more.closely now, and theres a part when Rapunzel calls the witch her mommy, my dd always says is that her mommy.... no!

What I told my son at that age is that he needs to stay where he can see me so that I can keep him safe. I told him that if he wanders off by himself and people see him without his parents, people might think that he doesn't have parents and might take him home "by mistake." I didn't want to scare him and tell him that there are bad people in the world who would want to hurt him, so I always said that they might take him because they didn't realize that he had already had parents, the way that maybe someone would pick up a lost toy at the park.

At the same time, I've told him that if he loses us that he should find a nice mommy to help him find us. Women are rarely pedophiles and are generally more invested in making sure that a child is reunited with his parents.

Now that my son is older, we're a little more explicit about "stranger danger," even though I've never used that term. I've had him watch John Walsh's "The Safe Side," and I think that helped keep him aware of the fact that there are some not-so-nice people without freaking him out unnecessarily.

I just scare them. I say there are "bad guys" out there that are sick and want to hurt little kids and take them away from their parents forever.

I have two boys that have caused those store alerts numerous times because they took off on me. The "stay by me" thing was not strong enough. Actually the scare factor barely registers.

you cant.. he will not understand.. they did a good experiemnt with 4 or 5 year olds.. mom said they child knew not to go with strangers.. and while the kids were at the park.. a "stranger" came up talked the kids.. and each and every kid will go with a stranger..

SO<<<< you have to watch him carefully.. not let him get separated from you..

I told my kids to look for a mom if they are lost.. a mom with kids.. or someone with a uniform.. I have also heard of kids that are lost and so scared to talk to a stranger that they wont go to anyone for help..

Look at your library or online for videos called "The Safe Side." These are aimed at kids and teach about "stoplight" people -- those who are "green light" (always safe to go with no matter what), "yellow light" and then "red light" people. Very well done, not scary but serious enough to impress, and made with the child audience in mind. Many libraries carry them. Pre-view it yourself first to see if he's old enough to get the idea.

It's not just stranger danger! Find lots of good info at www.pomwa.com . It's unfortunately someone they know or are acquainted with.