How to Survive the 3Rd Year!

I'm wondering what the answer is to this as well! I thought it was supposed to be the terrible 2's... Those were a breeze compared to 3!

When my oldest turned 3, it was a nightmare. She wouldnt be cooperative for anything from baths, to dinner, bedtime, absolutely everything was a complete war between her and I. I then started allowing her to make her own choices for some things and setting a straight forward, consistent routine for everything else. Like in the morning when we get dressed, I lay 2-3 outfits out on her bed and she can choose which one she wants to wear. When it came to brushing teeth and eating breakfast in the morning, we started a routine, and if she didnt want to cooperate, she would lose one of her privileges. Same thing at bedtime. When we got home for the day, we would eat dinner (again, she helps me choose what to make for dinner), I would let her have some play time (absolutely no tv at nighttime), then when it came time to get ready for bed: We would take a bath, brush our teeth, read a book, then go to bed. If she did not cooperate, then she would lose her book. Since my daughter extremely enjoys the 15 minutes of quiet time with mom reading, she would do anything to keep her book. Now that she is almost 5, I have incorporated a kids radio into the mix. If she follows the routine, she gets her book and radio at bedtime (radio is on a sleep timer, I just let her listen to it for a few minutes before she falls asleep, then I turn it off). Structure and Routine helped changed our war zone into a peaceful, enjoyable experience for both of us. I hope that helps. And then when my oldest went to sleep, I would have some wine.

At the most extreme point, before I started the structured routine, I started a sticker chart and would write 4-6 rules on it and place it on the fridge. I would focus on the most important rules only. (positively worded also: Be a good listener, use kind words, use manners, etc.) In the morning we would walk to the fridge and I would read the rules to her, then we would discuss a reward at the end of the day if she followed the rules. I never bought her anything for a reward, it was always something she wanted to do, like extra playtime, maybe play a game she doesnt play all time with mom, something like. Then at the end of the day, we would walk to the fridge and go through the rules one by one. I would put a sticker next to the rules she followed (mostly followed or put a good amount of effort towards). I would add the stickers and if she had more than half the rules followed, I would reawrd her. I slowly incresed it to make it so she had to follow all the rules, but I started out with just a few to get her involved and wanting to do it.

I hope some of that helps. No one helped me, and I love my daughter to peices, but I had my fair share of days I wanted to leave the grocery store without. Thankfully, these things helped us both get our sanity and peace of mind back. Good luck

I really don't have anything to add to Mandi as she gave good in the trench advice. But I just wanted to encourage you! Those 3s are SO tough! 3 yr olds have the most questions on here for the little ones. Forget the terrible twos, it's the horrible threes and fours! 5s were a good age with both my kids. Live for 5!!

Three year olds need to exert some independence and control over their own lives. They need to be allowed to make some of their own decisions. You need to offer choices. For instance, you can offer "you need to either have a shower or a bath. Which would you like?" or "you can have a bath tonight before bed, or you can get up extra early and have a bath tomorrow morning." or "you can have a bath tonight or you can miss dance class and have a bath tomorrow night." or "you can have a bath with your toys and bubbles or you have to wash your body with a facecloth at the bathroom sink."

Pick your battles. Lately I've not been fighting with my (almost) 4 yr old when he doesn't want to bathe--unless he's REALLY dirty. I've given him nightly baths since he was a baby, but I realized it is 1 thing that I don't have to insist upon. Lately we've gone to about every other day for his baths, and you know what? It's not been terrible. He still sleeps beautifully, I still wash his face before bed, and we avoid an unnecessary battle.

I'll be honest, I don't remember my son's Terrible 3's...and that was a year and a half ago!!! That time was so bad, my son was a bear!!!! No punishment worked and it seems like whatever I did punished me more than him! Basically my husband and I had to take turns being the bad guy so we didn't lose our minds.

Good luck and just know you will get through it!!!

Today I'm praying our summer won't be filled with screaming and crying when leaving the park.....ugh! My 3 year old is Ms. 'Tude these days. Way worse than my son ever was. If I feel like I'm getting ready to boil over I go and lock myself in my room or the bathroom and close my eyes. Then when she's calmed down and I've had a moment to clear my head I go back and try to finish what was supposed to be done 10 mins. earlier. And bath time many nights has involved her screaming her head off in the tub while I wash her hair (during the winter she gets bathed 2 times a week so it wasn't an option to go another day - she needed to be washed!). Does she have a favorite song? Sometimes if I sing my daughters favorite song she'll calm down and either sing with me or at least stop shrieking. Make it funny or do something totally off the wall. Sometimes I'll all the sudden fall down or start doing a silly dance and both of my kids start to giggle. Then after they are in bed, have a drink or some chocolate or BOTH!

3 was tough. Much harder than 2.

When my son started with the screaming freakouts over nothing, I didn't even approach it as a discipline issue at first -- I was like, what's wrong, is he sick? Eventually, out of sheer frustration, I started putting his toys in time out. Not him, that never worked, but his beloved, endlessly obsessed-over Thomas trains.

And, it worked. It was like, he was frustrated because he didn't control the world. And by imposing this practice of discipline, I gave him something he could control. Flip out and screech for no reason whatsoever -- Thomas and Percy go on top of the fridge. Get yourself together and calm down -- back come the trains.

Oh, and for this to work, the toys pretty much have to go where the kid can see them but can't reach them.

The other thing that can be ridiculously calming for 3-year-olds is singing with them. I hope you reeeeally, really like The Farmer in the Dell ;)

Three is about letting them have some control. I.e, put out two outfits and let her pick one. What soap or towel would she like for her bath. Routines are always a good thing. I am a big routine person, but not so much that
Granddaughter cannot function without it. Be consistent.

The 3's were so much worse than the 2's for us! My daughter turned into a little monster when she hit age 3. The only thing that worked for us was to put her in her room and ignore her until the tantrum was over. If she had no audience, the tantrum would stop. It lasted about 6 months and now she is almost 5 and she is a wonderful little girl. This is temporary, trust me. Hang in there.

My son had his first terrible three tantrum at the store this morning. I usually just ignore him, or, depending on the place and his mood, I do reverse psychology --I don't think you are yelling loud enough, how about stomping your feet..or sometimes he is open to me counting to five while he collects himself. At home, I tell him he can go to his room until he is calm enough to talk.

To get him to do something: two choices, both you can live with. If he wants neither, you say, I'm going to count to five, and then it's my choice. Usually they cooperate then. I also put toys in TO. Works great...also, the when you have done X, then you can do Y works great at this age. Mostly, distraction is your best friend and giving them control through offering up choices you can live with..so, do you want to leave in 1 minute or 3 minutes, etc.

To get out of the tub, I ask if he can do it himself....usually this works, as it empowers.....

I taught my kids, how to express themselves. The names for their feelings/frustrations. The words/phrases for it. And tones of voice.
By example and role playing.