How to Let Daycare Family Go Without Hurting Anyones Feelings-

if you already have a set number of children why are you taking on more babies? I think that a repeat paying customer thats been with you that long, should have priority over you taking on MORE kids. I dont know I guess I would be seriously offended and angry to get booted from a daycare like that.

I wonder if you can build a relationship with another in-home care provider that is trying to grow, that you can trust to refer business to. That way, you can refer business and also not damage relationships. Another mom made a good point about the teacher family - do they pay enough in their weekly attendance to cover the 3 months they don't come?

I would wait until the new babies come and if then it truly is too much for you, make a decision then. Good luck!!!

Do you have a set number you watch? I think it is really crappy service to say you will take these NEW baby/kids when you know it will be too much then let go of someone you already have made a commitment to. It would have been more professional to tell this family with with new ones that you are unable to add more kids to your daycare so they would either have to find other care for the new kids or find a new daycare.

There is NO good way... feelings will be hurt because you are asking someone you have made a commitment to to leave so you can have different new kids who are paying more.

To be honest I would be pissed. Now if there are other reason like not pay on time, not following the rules, or closing that would be a reason to say you are no longer going to watch their child(ren).

My feelings would definately be hurt. I would think you didn't like my child or something. If you told me it's due to overcrowding, I would think - we were here first, dont take on new kids. Sorry, just preparing you for what the mom will be thinking.

If it has been 4 yrs, I think the children would be going to school and naturally progress to after care at school. I think that will take care of itself. I know for me, the whole reason I chose an in home daycare was so that my children would have consistancy and a familial setting. I wanted them to be with family. Our caregivers become family to us. If my caregiver "quit" me, when I had honored our agreement, my feelings would be very hurt. There is an unspoken understanding that my children will be with them until they start school and that they will always be family to us. If it's a money situation, I would give her the option to pay the full time rate, before dumping her.

We've been with our daycare provider since she opened her doors two years ago. We love her and she loves us.

There is one family that started before us, and they are having another baby in May...this means that is one too many kids. She has told me that she can take two, but not 3 of my kids. REALLY?! I'm hurt and mad. I was paying her over for holding spots for my other two kids that are in school full-time and immediately stopped that. I told her out right it's not fair and I don't appreciate it. I am hurt. There is no way around it. She is opting for the baby instead of my kids for 3 more months (they will all be in school next year,) but it doesn't change that she could have picked another family. We did take them out for one summer when my husband was out of work and we had to pay our mortgage before anything else. But she understood.

And I agree with the others. You should NOT be taking on these babies if you have to kick other kids out for it. It's bad service and your name will go around as such. I am no longer overly recommending my sitter for what she did to us. If she did it to us and we get along so well and are so close, she will do it to others more easily. Bad business all around.

ETA: I just read your added section. I get the position you are in, but I think it makes more sense (for your reputation) to find a new kid instead of taking on two new babies. The family that has been with you the longest is the one you have the loyalty too, in my opinion. I know this economy stinks and you have to look out for you, but I can tell you from being "that family," that it's a bad move on your part. I got my sitter 3 other families by the recommendations I gave. I am not giving anymore nor am I advertising for her with open spots. I am not going to help her when she screwed me.

have you ever heard the phrase: "you had me, & you threw me away"?

no matter how you twist it, that other family will feel that way....& your rep will take a hit.

& as LiveBold said, there's no guarantee with the new baby. Lived it, hate it. My tax person recommended last year that my income:profit ratio was a concern & suggested that I raise my fees. The problem is that my fees are maxed out ....as far as my current families are concerned. I have one mom cleaning houses to pay me, & another mom tutoring to help pay me. Small town, small incomes. I am slightly below the licensed facilities & slightly above the "fly-by-night" babysitters. I cannot change my fees.

Soooo, right after my tax prep last year, one of my families announced they were expecting & asked if I would take the baby. I said "yes" knowing that this extra income would offset part of my losses. We got all the way down to the week before the baby was to start with me...& they pulled their older child! They enrolled her in a licensed daycare in another town.....to begin KG prep at age just-turned 3! I was stunned!

That was NOT the original/complete game plan. The "plan" was for both children to be with me- until KG. & in the end, I paid the price.

Things change, life changes, & I would hold onto the "good"...... If you're not over the legal limit, then I would take on the new baby, too. Booting somebody out the door is awkward, a breach of contract (in a sense), & never ends well....unless there is just cause for it - such as financial or social issues.

I just re-read this again... I didn't realize that the children putting you over are summer kids. Those of you giving this woman grief should be ASHAMED. Do you really expect a provider to hold spaces 9 months out of the year to provide you space for 3 months in the SUMMER?! And who will pay her bills when she's being a bleeding heart? ... TAKE the babies and give notice to the summer kids. Summer kids are NEVER a priority with me. I take them if I can and don't if I can't. We have a right to make a living..... HOWEVER, my other advice still stands.

The only problem I see with this is that you are counting on both those babies being with you. I've been at this 26 years and learned some painful lessons. Many mothers have every intentions of going back to work after the birth of their 2nd baby. But, several things come into play. Many won't pay for the time they are keeping the first child out at all or you can't agree on the # of days if they will agree to part-time for the first child. Even if all that is ironed out, they often go back to work for a few days and or a few weeks and then throw their hands up and quit. If they don't feel they are making enough to pay for 2 children in daycare or they feel like it's likely their last baby, they suddenly want to stay home with this baby.

If I were you, I'd wait until both babies have been born and then give notice to one of the families if necessary.

On top of these concerns, are financial ones for you. If you have been toying around with increases in your weekly rate, then give the parents a notice towards the end of the school year that rates will change at a certain time. Then if someone leaves because they just don't want to pay more, then you haven't let go of this other family.

I know you believe you have great relationships with them and I'm sure you do. But when push comes to shove, they will protect themselves and their own budget and you will not be a high priority with everyone all the time.

I do have to say that I understand your thinking. Unlike some of the other posters here, I know that you need to look out for your openings long term. A full-time infant will be with you for many years and a part-time child that will move onto school sooner than later, is not the highest priority. But as I said here, there is never any way to be sure how things will shake out.

When my mothers get pregnant, I always hope to keep them and make it work out. I frankly would go over on kids for a few months until someone else moved or lost a job, before I'd tell one of my moms that she can't bring her new baby. BUT, that is not something I have ever had to do. It always works out one way or the other on it's own.

As a childcare provider, I would not give the pink slip to your long-standing family. The mom is your greatest advertisement in your community and will serve you well for many years to come if you treat her with respect and her position in your childcare.

Babies are no guarantee. One of the babies could come early and be sick. One of the mom's could decide to stay home (even though they say they are going back to work), one of the parents may lose a job and decide to stay home with their kids...the options are endless.

I think it would be easier for you to find another kid to fill your spot than risk the bad publicity for booting a longtime family. I actually had to do this with a family that had been with me for 3 1/2 years when just this year, THREE of my moms were pregnant (don't drink the water!) She understood and had told me that she had actually thought about pulling them as they only needed one more year but that my hours didn't quite jive with hers. I was surprised! She also told me that another longterm family considered the same thing as they wanted longer care during the day but decided against it as her kids are happy here and she trusts me.

My point is...you never know what people are thinking and if you have a family that has stood by you through thick and thin, don't risk damaging that relationship and future references.

Just my humble opinion...

Keep all the kids and soon the one with the oldest child will be going off to kindergarten---problem solved. I wouldn't boot the family that has been there the longest---word of mouth gets around quick and if you let that one go, your business could go down the tubes if you offend her. Hang in there.

M

Will any of the current kids be moving off to Kindergarten in the fall?

Since the issue will not occur until after the second baby is born in May, I would wait to talk to the part-time Mom. The May baby wouldn't be at your house until August, so no need hurting part-time Mom's feelings right now. I would wait until June to say anything. That would give her 2 months to find something new. Also, the May mom may decide to stay home. I wouldn't burn your family bridges too soon.

Also, by August, Sept. would the part-time kid be going to pre-school? You could use that as a way out. Since you'd be watching 2 babies, you wouldn't be able to go pick up the girl from preschool.

I have to agree with everyone who has advised you to not boot the child you've already been watching in favor of two new babies. It's really unfair. You agreed to watch her part-time so it would be wrong to ask them to leave for that reason alone. I think you should be loyal to your oldest customers, and tell the newest mom-to-be that you'll be unable to accept her new baby until one of the older kids "graduate" from your care. If they leave, then find another full-time child to replace them. I think it make sense, maybe not from a business perspective, or from a convenience perspective, but certainly from an ethical perspective. Just ask yourself how you would feel if your child was booted from a wonderful childcare center so that another family could send their newborn. How would you REALLY feel about it? I think you fear of it ending on a bad note will definitely become a reality if you do this. The mom with the newborn might be unhappy as well, but she wouldn't be able to say it's unfair.

Can you hire a teen or another older woman part time to cut your mom's hours? that way she works less hours. Up everyone's fee slightly and keep all six kids for now. As others have pointed out you never know when you will lose a child, a mom could decide to stay home, a family could move, kids go to preschool or Kindergarten.

Are you licensed?
If so, then aren't there laws about how many children/babies you can have in your care?
And if you exceed that, you can be risking your licensing etc.

What are the laws in your area, about the ratios of children to supervising adults?

And is your Mom, a formal "employee" or yours or is she just helping you because she is there? Is she a formal part of your operations as a Daycare Provider?

To me, the State's laws of an in-home Daycare Provider, has to be met, as well. Right?

Have those families, that are having a baby, actually said, that YOU will be caring for them too?
Hasn't this been discussed at all?
Or are you just assuming, you will be taking them all on under your care?

And, do you have the accommodations to take on 2 more infants?
Cribs, for example.

I don't think you can break this off without hard feelings. I'm sure her daughter has bonded with you and I'm sure she relies on you and is happy with the situation. I understand that you are making the best financial decision for your family but, even if she knows and understands this, she is probably going to be upset because now she has to find alternative care and explain to her child why she isn't going to your house anymore. News tends to travel in child care circles so even if you don't tell her you are letting her go because someone else is going to pay you more money, she might find out and then, yeah, feelings are going to be hurt or she is going to be outright angry. You always have the option of telling her that your fees are going up and then she can decide if she needs to find a new provider. Good luck.

I don't think it's fair. The child is attached to you. The family has been loyal to you. It's not their fault someone else had another kid.

I would ask the newest family to go, personally, whether or not they had 2 kids in your care. There is always a single family child out there looking for childcare that could take that last spot. Either that, or find some extra help.

Personally, I think it's pretty crappy that you are more worried about the impact this will have on your finances than the little kid whose world you are considering turning upside down.

If you were to do this to me & my child, I would not be giving you a good reference, nor would I ever speak to you again. I would think that being someone who's worked with kids for a long time, you'd have more of a heart.

I would up your rates on the families with the new baby. that should cover the one child your loosing. having said that I would not get rid of the family who's child you have had the longest. have you considered asking that family to up their pay? it seems like you have been fine with the amount you have the one you need to get rid of is the one who's having the baby.

I would tell her what you said here, modified.

"I'm sorry, but I have to make some changes for the fall. I have to ask you to find alternate care for your DD. This change doesn't need to be done til x date and it's not about any problems with your daughter. It's purely business. I hope you understand."

When I left our daycare, I said much the same, in reverse. It wasn't that I didn't love them (I did!!), but I had a different job and couldn't keep her there.

That said, if it's about rates, do you think they would meet your minimum? Is their child going to preschool soon? Maybe that will give you the flexibility you need without having to let anyone go.

Now, the flip side is if the babies will put you over, you might also be honest with those families that you can't watch that many children and give them the option to find care for the infants. I know many families where, for various reasons, their kids are not in the same center. Infant care is HARD to find and many families put baby in one place and the toddler in another. It would not be unheard of. Watching the older child doesn't guarantee that you have space for the younger one. Everybody is on a wait list here, even if priority is given to the families that already attend.

I would give the family that is there 4 days a week the option of paying more before you kick them out. That way it becomes their decision in a way (is this the family that is home during the summer--that may be the family I would choose since they aren't paying you for those 3 months, whereas a family that is paying you 4 days a week full year, it may come out financially the same).

The sooner you let her know the better she will be able to make arrangements for a new daycare situation. This is just business and there shouldn't be any hurt feelings.

If you truly can't bring yourself to part with these extra kids, it may be time for you to consider bringing in more help. Hire a reliable and trust worthy teen for those summer months when you will have the extra kids. That may be a win/win solution.

You have to make the best business that meets your needs.

I think you need to re-evaluate this situation. End of Summer is a long ways away. The family that is having the baby may not even come back. Some of the children you are caring for may get job transfers or lose their jobs, 7 months away is way too far in advance to tell someone they are getting booted.

You have 4 families, one child from each family. Then 2 of these families have pending siblings starting at some point. So that would be a total of 6 kids in your care? Two under 1 year of age, that would be hard.

Since this is not even an issue until the end of Summer I would not say anything to anyone until perhaps May 1st. Then I would let everyone know that after Summer you are changing the ages of children that you care for. Lots of centers and homes are not taking kids after 3 yrs. of age due to so many of them starting a pre-school program.

That would take some of the stress off you and let the parents have plenty of time to decide what they want to do. They can also start checking out other situations.

I think you have the right to make the most profitable business decision. Have a nice conversation with the woman you've had for years. Discuss with her in advance, that you will have full time kids, and this is a better financial move for you. Unless she is willing to pay you more money? That is another possibility. But LiveBold gave you GOOD advice!! Don't get burned, make sure it's solid. A bird in the hand...you know.

I hope I'm never in your boat. But before making any decisions. Are any of the children entering kindergarten? If so, change your contract to say that you no longer provide before/after school care.

As another mentioned, the people having the new baby could decide to stay home, or any one of your parents could lose their job. You never know.

I am assuming you are licensed, if the ages of the children don't disobey your license, don't kick anybody out. I'm sure you can handle 6 little ones until your oldest enters kindergarten.

Now, if you MUST let someone go. I might suggest you tell the new baby parents that you unfortunately don't have enough room. Yes, they may choose to take both kids out, or they may choose to take the baby elsewhere and keep the older one at your place. Or put the older one somewhere else and keep baby with you. You never know. From a 'personal' perspective, it's not fair to kick someone out. While it's still 'rude' to say I can't take baby#2, you've got yourself covered because you have to follow state rules.

As far as money goes if you lose 2 children instead of 1. You've still only lost the income for one child because they haven't started paying for child #2. Or I presume anyhow.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I think you need to be upfront and honest, first of all, and do it as soon as possible. Just ask the mom and/or dad to come in and sit them down and explain that it is not anything they did or their child did but that you will be over your limit in the fall and you needed to make a very difficult decision about cutting back. It is logical that you would cut back the only part-time child, since that impacts your bottom line the most. By giving them plenty of notice to find a new provider, you will be most helpful. You can even offer to help locate a provider (if you know of other providers in the area or are networked with any through your re-cert classes or whatever) or can get recommendations from your licensor. I have used the same provider for 4 years and would be devastated if she said I had to go, but would be most appreciative with plenty of time to interview and integrate with a new provider. Good luck. Sounds like a tough decision and not a fun spot to be in :)