i do this with anyone i care about who has lost someone. besides the initial sympathy note or whatever you give. i let a couple of months go by and do it again.
usually the first few days and weeks are so filled with well wishers and help but eventually everyone gets back to their daily lives.
it is then that the real void is realized. no loved one and no constant support.
sometimes the most important thing is knowing that others remember also.
so many people are suprised when i walk up and say-- so how are you doing and they reply fine and i say- well i know its been 4 months now- or this is the yr anniversary... makes them feel good that they arent the only one with memories.
especially one- this couple always put the church activities together and he passed away 2 yrs ago this april. so when we have church activities now i make a point to chat with her and mention an activity i enjoyed in the past that her and her husband had done.
a note, a phone call, a simple flower.
wait a few more months and do it again. and again on the anniversary.
im not suggesting that these are the ONLY times you talk to her but its a good timeline to make sure not too much time goes by between supportive contact.