How can I help my husband find a job without being insulting? He recently finished school, has never really had to look for a job before (always employed and didn't have to try hard when found others), and doesn't understand some things I take for granted, such as followups and keeping a list of where contacted/when/whom. When I make suggestions, he acts as though I don't believe he's looking or that I "don't think he knows what he's doing/isn't a grown man." Suggestions for delivery?
Thanks everyone for your suggestions. I feel very "stuck between the rock and hardplace" where this effects our family either way, and micromanaging isn't what I wish for... just want to give a SMALL suggestion (like once a month!) and not get my head chewed off!:) I guess for the most part, that's not possible.
He knows he's unemployed and he knows he needs to get a job.
We can all list off all of the "shoulds" in the world like follow up, resume advice etc., but he's a grown man and this is his gig.
To micromanage his job search will emasculate him and sound like nagging.
Let him go.
Unless he asks you for your advice, leave him alone and let him do it on his own, his own way. Men are different than women, they handle things differently. Let him be! I know it is frustrating, my husband was unemployed for almost 2 years!! It is a tough market right now, just give him space, be supportive, and don't give advice unless you are asked for it!
Yes, you're not his mom or his keeper. Let him succeed or fail all on his own. If he wants your help, he'll ask for it. Until then.... not your job search. This mentality goes for your kids too, even though you are their mom!!!! lol
Seriously - you can give him a pointer or two, but then back off. he will need to do this all on his own. And yes, it's really really really really hard. I still struggle with being naturally organized, which I think EVERYONE would benefit from... but really it just pisses most people off.
So you can have a conversation with him that if he wants your advice, you are more than happy to help but you trust him can't wait to celebrate when he gets his job offer. But that's it.
Follow through is VERY important in today's job market..
Sending thank you notes, researching the company and going into the interview with knowledge...
Tailoring your resume to fit the position - DO NOT LIE - but use your experience to show them you are the right candidate for the job...
cover letters - stating HOW you would benefit the team. What your past experience can do for the team....
No real suggestions for delivery....can't help you there...I'm too blunt. I'd just come out and say it - i'd rather say it than have the elephant in the room!!
I was going to write the same thing as Cheryl O.
I must be honest however I strongly disagree with most peoples comments about not saying anything, let him do it on his own, etc.
I went along with that when we were first married and we are still paying off the debt we got into due to only one of us working.......if you two were dating I'd say back off, but you are married and this will affect you as well.
stop making suggestions. that sounds like nagging to a man.
stop micromanaging his job search. that sounds like a lack of faith.
Im not saying that to be mean. I'm telling you from experience. My husband has been off work for over a year. He's ridiculously unorganized and has zero follow up. I could've gotten a job within the 1st week. Drives me nuts.
But, I've learned from all these fights we've had to let go and let him do it his way. He was already experiancing depression over it and all the "help" I was trying to give just felt like I was belittling him and taking his manhood away. I had to learn to start building him up and telling him how much faith I had in him. (wasnt feelin it, but I put on a brave face) What he doesn't mind me doing is helping on my end. I network for him, ask everyone I come in contact with if they know of any open positions. I have a copy of his resume and I often apply on his behalf to positions online and fax it to area businesses.
I'm happy to tell you he finally got a job. Even though he was late to the interview, did not have his paperwork, and took my kids to the interview! Its a temp job, only lasts a month. But he loves it and he did it with no 'help' (nagging) from me and he couldnt be more proud.
I've gotta agree with the other gals who say to leave it up to him. Men have a LOT of their self-worth tied up in their jobs and he needs to do this himself, his way.
I looked on line for merchandising jobs for my guy. I told him here is the website and please apply for some jobs,and now he starts his new jobs next week. May be hook him up with an employment agency that could help him out. They can help with his resume and job placement. Can also look into to temporary to permanent jobs with a staffing agency. Good luck
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Get his resme tweak it, and then review the cover letter and apply for jubs for him. Let him know you like doing ti to help,. Indeed, hotjobs, careerbuilder, craigslist, look up the industry hes in and go to the firms around you company websites and apply that way. After he does an interview, you can send the thank you notes...sometimes team effort is required ust ask if you can help
How recently did he graduate? I suggest you give him some time to do it on his own before you micromanage. Micromanaging is insulting to anybody.
