Friend Keeps Asking Me to Get Her Son a Job

Just tell her you'll pass on his resume and that is all you can do. You can't guarantee the kid a job. Tell her that you think there is something that they are finding that is causing him to not get a call for an interview. Perhaps he needs to fix his resume .. write a better cover letter to explain why he left his program etc.

I would just tell her that you put some feelers out, but with the job market the way it is, no one is hiring.

It sounds like you've tried to have an honest conversation with her and she isn't open to it, so at this point I'd just start to brush it off "oh yea, I mentioned him but they aren't hiring" or "I mentioned him, but he doesn't have the right qualifications". Try to make it sound like you don't really have any pull and stay out of it.

Something smells funny here. You have a new job - it's not like you're close personal friends with anyone in the HR department, are you? Regardless, I would provide the name of the person to whom this woman's SON should send his resume. After that, I'd simply say - I'm 100% sure if he has the qualities they're looking for, they'll call him.

Why a 25 year old young man needs 2 people helping him find a job is beyond me. If he was a quality candidate, he might not need so much help. Don't let her guilt you into "helping" any more. People don't take advantage of you without your permission.

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Tell her you've tried, but both times the resume was rejected for various reasons and lack of experience. Explain to her that you re still building an identity there and don't have any strings to pull yet since you are new, and you would only recommend someone if you could personally vouch for them and knew them very well... so he will have to submit his resume on his own.

Then tell her your son would have a better chance if he went to career counseling to help teach him how to create a great resume and cover letter, and help him on interviewing skills. poor guy, if he can't get his resume looked at, then how will he do in the actual interview?

I used to be in HR. I had people ask me all the time to "help them" get a job, and interview, review their resume, give them contacts, etc.

I think at this point you should be honest with your friend. Tell her that YOU DID your end. You did forward his resume, and be honest about the feedback.

Tell her if you are willing to help him any more, that he would need to get in touch with you directly. And that you are happy to give him some professional advice, but that frankly, it's not professional for Mom to get involved any more than she already has.

Tell her that you understand she's just trying to help her son. But that at this point, he needs to do THIS for himself. Mom's pushing, prodding and asking friends for help is not the way to get her son off into the adult world.

If you don't want to be involved in helping him anymore, say that too. Tell her you did what you said you would, that you forwarded along his resume and it didn't turn into anything. Sorry, but that's the reality of the market these days. Then change the focus, "Where did your son apply? What interviews has he gotten?"...basically, what is HE doing to help HIMSELF? My guess is that will probably shut her up and get her off on some tangent about how frustrated SHE is that he doesn't have a job yet.

I would tell your friend to have her son send a copy of his resume to your employer and contact them himself. You cannot recommend someone that you can't be sure is actually qualified for the job. Honestly, I don't know why your friend feels that she has to help her son get a job and also expects you to make it easier for him. He is 25 years old already. He needs to start showing some initiative and she needs to stop enabling him.

I like JL's answer. Yes, the economy is tough and networking is a great way to find a job. But he needs to be proactive. It's not HER job or YOUR job to find him a job. If he were mature, he should be asking to meet with you, to "interview" you about the business world you're in, etc. If he's not proactive enough to do the work himself, I wouldn't want to hire him either.

I'd tell her the truth but I would also like you to keep in mind that in this economy even our friends, even with highest honors and great backgrounds, we often cannot get jobs. It is just how it goes. There might not be anything rotten that stinks in Dubuque or whatever, there just might be jobs. I graduated from a particular type of school in the last couple of years along with many others I know none of us have gotten jobs. I was in their honor society and had one of the highest grade averages. I am told I do not have experience, so I do something else. Many people are dismissed from schools for academic reasons, perhaps you should straight out ask the mother if there was another reason just to ease your own mind. Then you can follow another mom's advice and give the name of the human resources person.

You've tried twice. Tell her to send in his resume. My husband works for his parents and we've had people wanting a job. My hubby always says "Mail us your resume so we'll have it on file."

Have you tried being honest with her? Tell her you forwarded his resume to two people and both came back with the same response: not interested. Tell her you are uncomfortable putting yourself out there anymore without more information. You have just started a new job, you need to focus on that!

My husband was out of work for 4 months and EVERYONE I knew OFFERED to take his resume and pass it around. I emailed it to everyone I knew, and then even people we didn't know that knew he was out of work tried to help. He got his job about a month ago by someone I work with knowing he was out of work - and thank God because that is what kept us afloat. And he got his real job (starting on Monday) by having his resume on Monster, but it took almost 5 months to get a call from that. I think in this economy, that it can't hurt to pass it along. Don't pass it on more than once, but defintely do it. Imagine if you were out of work and knew people in your field. You would want them to help you too. This economy SUCKS and at least around here, for most people, it is who you know that gets you the job. My husband knows a lot of people, but still. I would do it once to every new person you can.

I know you are saying "so". However its not right for you to position yourself that way unfortunetly. If he was to end up getting hired/fired from your new job it doesn't look good on you. As you said you have in the past gotten others jobs however, they are not calling him. There are reasons' for this.
Let on that you did him this favor and leave it at that. I know my son has had many ppl. ask for him to get them a job where he works. Like I said to him, if something happens, they kind of look at you. "Like why did you ask for him" In turn you feel like your bein chastized. If you really don't know this person, hes' not your immediate friend dont' do it, I dont' condon lying but in situations like this sometimes a little white lie is better than you not having employment either.

Why don't you offer to look at his resume and see if you can help it out. Maybe it is just something dumb on there that is turning employers off. I would also coach him on not mentioning the fact that he had to change programs for whatever reason. It sounds suspicious but the reason is not something he has to disclose. Basically, he go the degree and that is what the employer has to know.

After you have gone that route, then forward the information of the human resources people at your company and tell him to send it in. That way you are not the one connected to the applicant but you are helping him in his job search. If your friend still asks you to forward the resume personally then just tell her you haven't been there long enough to have any pull with anyone.

In short, my guess is he just has a very poor resume and needs help there. I have a pretty strict rule of not using my name for job referrals too often but I am ALWAYS willing to help beef up a resume or throw out ideas in a job hunt.

Hope this works.

give the young man the HR contact info and stay out of it. if she keeps pushing, tell her kindly that referrals put you in a very awkward position vis-a-vis the referee's future job performance and you cannot take the risk. she might huff off for a while, but if she's a friend she'll cool down and get it.
good luck.
khairete
S.

Speaking from experience, go with your gut. I was the vessel (like you), that passed on information for a friend's daughter. She ended up getting the job and was a terrible employee. She certainly didn't last long and git fired for various misconducts. I was so embarrassed, that I was connected to a bad employee. Fortunately, my supervisors were understanding and didn't judge me by her actions. Not everyone is so understanding, though. Sometimes you get branded for those that are associated with you.

I agree with Mari. Just give them proper resoucrces as to where he can apply and such..... You may also tell your frined that it is hard for you to make a personal recommendation because you honestly do not know of her sons work ethic.

Clearly your friend is putting way too much pressure on you to find her son a job but in order not to add any stress to your friendship I would tell her you'll forward his resume...then don't actually do it unless you are comfortable doing so.
I think a 25 year old should be able to get his own resume out there and start making some contacts! Headhunters may be able to help him as well and the online job sources (Monster, etc...).

tell her you did and they werent interested.

Since networking is key to getting a job, try to sympathize with your friend..for only a minute! then, politely inform her that you did pass his resume on to "whom ever". Explain that is all the pull you have. advise her to have her son do the follow up. If she really is your friend, you should be able to explain that there is nothing else you can do and you don't want to put any weirdness into your work environment.

Ask her if she wants you to lose your job to be in pusuit of a job for him as you are new at this company and need to get your footing. Let her know that you would be willing to talk to him briefly about his resume. Also if he is only 25 the professional assistance office where he graduated from should be able to give him pointers. He also should take an interview/success in business type class. He should also get any job that would not conflict with both his ability to interview and work a new job should he get hired. Also suggest to mom that maybe he is not intersted in his chosen major or profession if he needs others to work so hard to get him there and not do the work himself.

Maybe just tell her that your employer is not hiring at this time but you will let her know if something comes up. That's a tough situation. Good Luck!

You could take the resume and when you send it to your new employer you can preface by saying "attached is a resume forwarded to me by a friend. I do not know this person's work eithic or background, but his resume does appear to fulfill some entry level qualifications, so I am passing it along. If this resume is of interest to you please feel free to contact him as I have no further info on him, if not thank you for reviewing it" This way you do your friend the favor and it completely removes you frm responsibility if your boss passes or hires him. I have passed on many resumes for real friends and friends of friends, the ones I knew well I prefaced with a glowing recommendation , those I didn't know I alerted my contact that I didn't know them professionally or personally but was just passing the info along. With this recession everyone is passing resumes's along, I'm sure your new boss has done the same. Good luck

Cooking Mom nailed it.

Let her know that you forwarded his resume and that you received a response stating that they do not take in house referrals to avoid conflict etc. or you can tell her you did and never heard back even after you followed up