How to Help a Friend Get over a Serious Relationship

Is there any way you two can take a cooking class together? I could have written this nearly verbatum of my best friend (in texas) except he at least called it off before the wedding could take place. She got involved in a local church and started taking cooking classes and singing lessons. She had to do this on her own but I would have figured out how to be there with her if I were still in Tx with her. I suggest going with her b/c it will still show you support her but also support her moving on. Helping her to get going with new things and activities to boost her self esteem and to show her there is more to life than finding a husband she will be over the greiving process and onto Mr RIGHT not Mr Right NOW in a year or so. It does take time and if you are willing to be the friend to help pull her out this may be a good step in the right direction.

What has helped me get over having my heart broken is the support of my girlfriends and keeping myself active with activities that are just for fun, not about picking up or meeting men. Now is a good time for her to start trying out some pursuits that she has always put off because there has been a man in her life, like art or hiking or learning a foreign language. If she gets on with the business of living her life, then eventually she will meet someone who is more suitable for her and hopefully shares some of her same interests. But it does take time to get over a relationship when you were the dumpee, not the dumper.

I'm not a big fan of Dr. Laura but her 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives actually offers some really good advise. Also, the book, He's Really Not That Into You is something that I should have read way back when, before I met my husband. Maybe you can find a way to gently mention the books to her during one of your conversations, it will perk her interest and she'll go out and buy them.

Hope this helps.

There is a time at which it's appropriate to suggest she see a counselor. It sounds like she has worn you out. So it's that time.

Good luck to you and to her.

I'm not sure what stage of break up she is in, but if she is still dwelling on thoughts of him and that's keeping her from getting on with life, she needs to stop the thoughts as soon as they start. Seriously, when she realizes that she is thinking about him, about their future, about the way he walks, about his touch, any time those thoughts come into her head, she needs to tell herself - No, I'm not thinking of that...and then go vacuum or clean out the fridge or paint a room. She needs to retrain her mind. Sorry to say it, but she needs to do this about the little girl, too. If she can do this for a couple of months, her perspective will be totally different. Right now, when she's putting together Christmas gifts 6 months after he left her at the altar, she's holding on to a fantasy that her mind is making better all the time. Push the thoughts away. Then sign up for eharmony or match.com - this works. She'll be married within 2 to 3 years.