Help! My son is 6 1/2 years old (will be 7 in June) and has just asked me last night to explain to him "exactly HOW me & daddy made him". Luckily, I was doing some work on my computer at the time, and deflected his question by telling him that I was working and would get back to him when I was finished.
We have always told him that God took some of mommy & some of daddy and that's how he was made and that he was given to us by God to take care of and grow into a strong young man. That he has some of mommy's features, like my feet, and some of daddy's like his eyes. He started public school this year and I know that they hear way more than we want them to at way younger ages than we'd like. Of course I want to be honest with him about his body (we have always done that) and about these issues, but exactly WHAT is appropriate for an almost 7 year old? Gosh I was dreading this day.....LOL! Help!!!
I went to the bookstore yesterday and sat in the parenting section and read ALL the choices of books available for his age group (4-10). I am realizing that I am the one having the problem with exactly how much information is too much information and was blown away with the age level on some of the books - 4?? Anyway I picked a book I liked that explained about sperm & egg get together in mommy's tummy and the baby grows - the ONLY book without the specific details on inserting what where. I do not feel with my son's emotional level (behind where he should be) that he could handle the nitty gritty either. I showed daddy and we will sit our son down and read this book to him together and answer any questions that arise from the book. Thank you ALL for your suggestions! They were wonderful!
There is a good book called "what is the big secret". It is a good way to explain to children about the birds and bees.
http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Big-Secret-Talking-about/dp/0...
Good luck.
J.
(1) I like the idea from the person who suggested you ask your son "why" he's interested in "exactly HOW" he was made. There's a part in the Bible that says "You did knit me together in my mother's womb" (Psalm 139:14). You could start there and say God took the parts from Dad and sort of knitted them together with the parts from Mom and made your body. Sort of like when someone knits a sweater only better! Actually, if you have a picture of DNA he could see how the molecules are "knit" together and when all the DNA parts are put together in a mother's womb, a child is formed! (2) Get pics of babies in the womb and show him the progression. You might be able to get some pics like that from the Solutions Pregnancy Center, 837 Broad St., Shrewsbury, NJ 07702, or call them to find out what materials they can offer: 1-888-595-TEST. (3) Another idea is to go to a library and get an age-appropriate book to share with your son. (4)Or, you can use this idea: The oak tree has a seed that is planted in the ground. The seed opens and lets in the nutrients (food) from the soil. Then God "knits" the seed and the nutrients into a tiny sapling that sprouts through the ground and grows into a big tree. It's the same with children. Dad puts a "seed" into Mom in a way that was designed by God. The seed gets nutrients from Mom and God knits the seed and the nutrients into a little baby. The baby "sprouts" out of the Mom the way God intended and grows into a big boy! ... Maybe your son will grow up to be a very good doctor! All the best with the talk. Please let us know how it works out for you!
I was really honest with my son. It helped I was pregnant at the time. I was matter of fact, about naming the parts their proper names. I also talked about privacy and private parts and it is something he should only talk to me or daddy about. It was not nice to talk about it at school or with his friends etc.
There are several books you can get to. IMHO The more honest and blase about it the less taboo you make it.
ALso you may ask why he asking. May put your whole talk in a different perspective if it is not the info he is truly looking for too:)
A.
When my mom gave me "the talk" some thirty-odd years ago, she was very straightforward and accurate but used a sort of "boring science lesson" tone. She also gave me a lot of information about pregnancy, so the taboo aspects sort of got lost in a tangle of fallopian tubes.
As an aside, at around that time I was a big fan of fairy tales, including the ones about a king and a queen who really wanted a child but couldn't have one. I remember thinking, "why didn't they just do that thing?" It was many, many years before I understood that sexuality existed for purposes other than conception.
That's the approach I plan to take when my son asks me -- straightforward and scientific. I think that if you don't present these topics as taboo and don't make a big deal out of the talk, you can actually preserve a child's innocence while maintaining your role as a source of correct and reliable information.
Hope that helps!
Mira
