How to Have Parents Pay for 'Extra' Kids at Party

Updated on May 07, 2008
K.M. asks from Tacoma, WA
22 answers

We have planned our son's 9th birthday party at a location for the first time. We have traditionally had parties at home and invited everybody, usually having between 15 and 20 kids arrive. At this place, I have to pay a fixed amount per child, so I have a specific number of children that I am inviting. We do not plan to pay for siblings who are not invited, so how do we make that clear without sounding rude?

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So What Happened?

Thanks, all of you, for your great suggestions! We included a quip about extra kids are welcome for an additional fee, so when parents arrived on Saturday, they all knew their extra kids were, well, extra. It went really well and we had a BLAST!!! I have been nervous about doing our parties away from home, but this one was so much fun! We did Mini-golf and batting cages. The kids divided into groups of 5 and one parent was with each group. No scoring, though...that would have taken too long. All in all, there weren't any problems and I will do this party again.

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A.C.

answers from Eugene on

All you can you is state the truth. You are willing to pay for children invited to the party, however if any siblings attend then the parents to pay for the siblings portion. There is nothing rude in that, and I think most parents would understand. Have lots of fun.

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M.M.

answers from Seattle on

Address the invitation specifically to the child invited. Also, you could write a note inside to the effect of , "Please RSVP and let us know if Chris (child's friend name only) can attend" or "Hope Chris can help celebrate with us". I think you are better off being subtle, rather than directly stating it in the invitation, which may come off to some as a little crass. Anyone with reasonable sensibilities will be able to understand the meaning. If it is in question, then they can address it with you when they RSVP. When they call to RSVP, state, "Oh, I'm glad Chris can make it." If they then state or ask if the little sister can come too. Say she is more than welcome to come, but in order to accommodate all of your child's friends, you were, unfortunately due to budget constrictions, unable to pay for all the siblings of all the friends as well. Most parents would completely understand this. If they all show up to the event without telling you in the RSVP, say how wonderful it is to see them all, and I'm sorry I didn't realize you all were coming. We only paid for x amount of kids to participate, but if the other children would like to participate as well - they can buy some tickets over there.

Hope this helps and you guys have a wonderful celebration.

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A.V.

answers from Portland on

I would send the invitation to the specific child you have in mind. Then add that "Siblings are welcome to join us at $6.00 per child." (or what ever the up charge would be.) that way you can keep with the tradition of the larger party, with out incurring extra expense.

God Bless you, Ang

2 moms found this helpful

K.B.

answers from Seattle on

Have you sent out the invitations yet? If not, then put in them "Due to limited space, please no siblings". I have gotten a couple of these for my son and was not offneded in anyway. This isn't a party for the whole family, it is one for your son and the friends he wants to help him celebrate. If others are offended by this then that is their problem. Now if someone shows up with a sibling then I would take the parent aside and quietly let them know that the party was pre-paid for a certain number of children and if the sibling wants to stay then the parent must pay for them.
Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Portland on

This has happend to lots of my friends. On the invitation say, Siblings are welcome but there is a charge for them to participate. Sometimes that is enough to either discourage them from bringing and leave one parent home or they have to pay. Most parents are going to understand..after all the sibling is not your child's friend. good luck

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

Just make it clear in the invitation:

We're really sorry, but "Location X" has limited the number of children who can be included on the guest list. Siblings CAN attend, but please know that you will have to pay $?? for every additional child.

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D.H.

answers from Portland on

Make sure you let the parents know it is a PAID-PER-CHILD event. You have set aside an amount for say 10 children and their ONE child is one of the "10". You are free to bring along anyone else, but the fee is $? for any extra child. This fee will need to be paid to (you/director) upon entry to the party. I had a Build-a-bear party and the parents were glad to pay extra to make their kid's bears special. You would be amazed at how many parents will pay. Good Luck!

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J.R.

answers from Seattle on

I would think that for a nine year old - addressing the invite only to the child invited would be enough...You could be very specific on the inside by saying in the "time" slot - "Please drop your child of promptly at --- and be sure to come back and pick up at ---"

Good luck!!!

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

I would include it on the invitation, something like "We have prepaid for a party of 10, any extra children will need to be paid for by parents the day of the party"...maybe smaller at the bottom of the invite. Or even a separate note in with the invitation if you don't want to write it ON the actual invitation. I think most parents understand!

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M.B.

answers from Portland on

I would just put the child's name who is invited on the envelope and if the parents bring another child i would say that he can play but it is going to cost ....

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H.B.

answers from Spokane on

Hello,
I have 3 kids, a 14 yr old son with my ex husband, and 2 girls 6 and 8 with my husband. When it comes to B day parties, I have done both out ie chucky cheese and at home. When we had the party out, I simply told the parents that I could only afford a certaing amount of kids, that their siblings were welcome to come, but at their expense. I think they appreciated the honesty. And it makes it a lot less awkward if they know before the party. And really, no parent should expect you to pay for kids that are not invited, and no parents should send their kid to a b day party that they are not invited to!
Just be honest, it will always get you far!

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H.G.

answers from Portland on

Easy, include a little letter with the invitation saying" Siblings are welcome at the party, although there entrance fee is not included in the party cost. Entrance fees are... and list them". This should take care of any confusion.

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

Kristine,
What we did was put in the invitation that if sibblings are coming the party place charges an extra $5 fee per each.(Or whatever the extra price is.) That way, you don't have to feel guilty and it is basically on the shoulders of the party place.
I don't find it rude, I find it taking control of your spending. Most parents won't find it offensive and if they do, that's their problem. They are most likely not worth having.
Best of luck.

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K.V.

answers from Portland on

if you can fit it, put on the invitation something like: "jack is welcome to come along. there is a $5 fee," or whatever. that way there is no awkward situation at the party. my neighbor just experienced this and had to fork over an extra $35 for the kids that were not invited. don't let it happen to you! good luck.

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E.K.

answers from Seattle on

Similar to what other's have advised, I would suggest saying on the invite, somewhere small at the bottom...

"We have happily covered the entrance fee for <your child's name>'s friends to celebrate with us. While we do welcome siblings to join us, they will need to cover their own entrance fee of $XX.00 each. We look forward to seeing you!".

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

I am going to sound like a broken record at this point. If you havent sent the invites I would make a note on them that Siblings are welcome at such and such a cost per parent. Let them know you had to pay ahead for the actual invited party if you want. Parent have to understand how this goes at this point. If they dont well then their child doesnt need to be there in my mind!! GOOD LUCK!

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D.M.

answers from Anchorage on

A simple RSVP requirement should suffice. When a parent calls you back, edicate (sp?) would dictate to also RSVP the number attending at which point you would elaborate. I'm not sure if you will find that everyone knows this. I would follow up with any that do not RSVP just a day or two before the party with a "just need to comfirm the number of attendees so I wanted to check if Johnny could make it"

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

I look at the invitation. If it has both daughter's names on it, then I send them both to the party. If it has one, I just send the one. Most parents are aware that unless the person has been invited, they don't stay.

D.J.

answers from Seattle on

Send the invitations with the kid name on it. Actually for my son's birthday all the parents called me to ask if it is OK to bring a sibling. If you don't think that it will work put a note in the invitation and apologize that due to limited space (or safety reasons) the siblings can't join the party. You can be even more honest and put financial limit. I'm sure they will understand that. Good luck!

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D.H.

answers from Seattle on

Usually by the age of 9, my children's friends came alone to the party. I had parents drop the child off at our home and we then transported the guests to the location in our van. If you are having the child dropped off at the actual party place, you can word the invitation to be clear that it's only for that child, not the parents, extra kids, etc. Something like this. Address the envelope to the child *matthew* and when opened it says:
This year since Sam is 9 years old, he's decided to invite a few of his friends to a party at Chuck E Cheese. (child's name) is invited to a party at Chuck E Cheese. Please drop him off at 3:00 and pick him up at 5:00 pm. RSVP so we can plan the party. End of story,the hint is given without being unkind. In the event a parent calls and questions siblings invitation, let them know that since Sam is getting older, you are trying something new this year and inviting the children his own age and won't be having siblings. Don't open the door to parents coming w/younger kids and staying. As the kids get older they don't really want to deal with all the siblings anyway. It's his party, and friends siblings need to learn they aren't always invited to everything.

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T.F.

answers from Eugene on

I would understand if you would write in the invitation or a separate note (like TJ said) stating that you have prepaid for X amount of kiddos and any extra kiddos have to be paid by parents or guardian. I would rather know. But most of the time I usually am prepaired to bring out the debit card.

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M.B.

answers from Spokane on

Have you already sent the invitations? If not just put a little note at the bottom that siblings are welcome but parents must cover the siblings and put the price of each additional child. I have done this before and it worked fine as the parents then could decide to bring the siblings or just drop off the child that was invited.

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