Un-invited Siblings at Birthday Parties

You would hope that people are considerate enough to know that their other children are not automatically invited, but that's usually not the case.

I have 4 children very close in age. If one is asked to a party, I NEVER assume that the others are invited, nor do I 'invite' myself to bring them. I simply make arrangements for me to either stay with them without other siblings (when they were younger) or drop them off now that they are older.

Kids have to learn that they can't always do what their siblings are doing.

With that said, people unfortunately don't always think that way.. So my suggestion is as others have said ,,put it plainly on the invitation. Either 'invited children only',,, or siblings may attend, but must pay $x.xx extra per child. (of course, more nicely put than I said it, haha)

My 2 cents worth!

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This has always been a sore spot with me. I don't understand why everyone thinks that siblings should automatically be invited to attend parties of their siblings friends. Even when I have hosted parties at my home it is time consuming and expensive. If my son has 10 friends it turns into 20 with siblings and I think it's ridiculous. Children should learn early that they don't get to go to everything.
I think you could politely add something on the invitation that says due to space limitations please advise if siblings will be attending. Charge is $5.00 each. Or you can mention it when people RSVP. I've found that many people still don't RSVP though, so the invitation covers it.

It's a tough spot, but I'd most definitely say something on the invitation. Maybe at the bottom you could include something in small print like "Additional children/siblings - $X.XX". Or you could simply put "RSVP by June 1 - please ask about cost for additional children/siblings". That way, even if they don't ask, they should still know there's an additional cost.

Maybe you could include a P.S. that says something like "Additional children $___"? Of course, that would be if you're addressing the invitation to the specific child being asked.

You need to be upfront. Most parents would be very understanding. Just write on the invitation that siblings are welcome if paid for in advance by the parents. hope this helps!

My children are two years apart. If one were invited and the other NOT, I would want to clearly know in advance.
I would suggest thinking about How many extras you have to worrry about. If it is only one or two that may be extra, I would call the parents and explain in advance. If there are a lot of people with extra children, I would consider doing a party that is not in one of these expensive places. Another choice is limit the invitations to only those you know for a fact will comply with your specific child only rule.
The fact is that YOU are in charge and have to feel comfortable with your decisions.
If you have to worry about a situation, it may not be the right way to go. Once children are older, things change.
And who's to say we can't just do a cake and icecream party at home with everyone like in the good old days?!
Children just want to have fun. That should always be the focus and most of the time, fun does not equal costing lots of money.

You could put "no siblings, please" on the invitations. Usually, parents have called me to ask if it was ok to bring a sibling. Also, let's say you are planning on 20 kids but only 15 can come - you could pay for an extra sibling or two ans still come out ahead.

Just put that on the invite. "Due to the expense, we request only one child per RSVP. If you want to bring more, we request that you pay the expense of the extra child yourself. I apologize for the inconvenience and thank you for your cooperation." My sister lives in a small trailer park and had to limit parking for her son's first birthday party and put on the invites "parking limited please carpool" and sure enough, there was 5 families at her little trailer, but only 3 cars (including hers) in the driveway. You'll be surprised at how well the info on the invites help!!

My son has a yearly party at our local skating rink and I state clearly on the invitations that admission is stictly to those who RSVP. I have been questioned on this and once I explain that I must pay in advance for the number of children attending, I don't have anyone that minds at all.

Hope this helps and enjoy the party!

I have 5 children (the oldest is 6!) and this has happened to us often (from both sides)! Definitely let the parents know on the invitation. And don't accommodate one family if you can't do that for everyone...it's really not fair for a mom to go through a lot of trouble to have the siblings kept just to get there and see younger kids at the party (excluding family members).

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I have to agree with the majority here. Just put something short and sweet on the invite so no one can say they didn't know. I have kids that are 3 years apart but they have alot of the same playgroup friends (or friend families). When my kids had their parties earlier this year, I really limited the # because I knew siblings would be coming and would also be invited. We left people out because the #'s were just getting to be too much. I would address the invite to the child only. Most of my friends (and myself) never just assume that the other children are invited and can participate with the party children. I automatically assume that if one of my children is not on the invite, that if I decide to take the uninvited child (if it is an offsite loaction) that I will be in charge of paying for that child. JMO

Just be up front. You can put something like 'any additional siblings will be at parents expense'. Parents understand that you can't foot the bill for everyone and if they don't then they need a reality check. I have 5 children and if I took my extra kids with me then I paid for them.

I wouldn't wait till the day of the party, just in case. So stating that on the invite, IMHO, is the best way to go.

Just address the invitation to the CHILD and just put that due to the large invite list, as you don't want to tell them it is due to the financial part, that only the named child is invited.

I have never assumed nor have had a problem about siblings although this past year and I am not sure if it due to us homeschooling but I had one parent call and ask if the 'family' was invited or just the invited child. I just clarified that it was the invited child only.

I think it is rude to assume otherwise. Even if the event was being held at your house... you invite the children with in your child's age bracket, not older or younger unless of course it is YOUR immediate family.

I would address the top of the invite to the child included and if there is room in small print on side or bottom - "siblings will be additional cost of $__ each - thanks" and if you need to know in advance for cake, goodie bags, etc. say that also....
You shouldn't have to pay for more than child invited but if Mom shows up with another child but didn't bring any cash it could be embarassing if they didn't know in advance.

Definitely put something on the invitation to make things clear up front. Most parents will have no problem with that--who doesn't like details? Anyway, clearly address the invitation to one specific child, ask for an RSVP (and follow up on people you don't hear from in time), and put a little note at the bottom of the invitation like: Entrance fee to X is covered for invitee only. Or: Party limited to invitees only; X charges $_ for additional kids. Good luck!

Hi, I have 4 boys and learned the hard way about this. Put it on the invitation! If there is room for additional kids then put something at the bottom saying the price if siblings will be present and participating.

I would say so and so is invited to ______ birthday party, If siblings want to come, it will be an extra charge due to the high cost. thanks for the cooperation. Something like that, I am very verbal and I would just tell them in person, I can't afford it. good luck. J.

when they call to rsvp let them know that. just like you said due to costs that if they need to bring the siblings they need to pay. say i just cant afford it this year im sorry. plus this is a birthday party for your child and his friends not there brothers and sisters :) have fun!!

Hi H.,

I've had a number of paries at offsite facilities. When parents have asked about siblings, I've simply told them that they can come, but they can't participate as a member of the party (ie - They have to sit with you, not the kids, and you have to pay for their food and drink). When I send the invitation, I address it to the invitee and one parent (my kids are 5 and 6, so the parents often stay). I've never had anyone complain about being asked to pay for the extra kids.

Good luck!!

We know who we are inviting and we know how many children they have. We budget to include siblings at birthday parties. If we cannot afford their siblings to attend we plan a cheaper party.

H.,
I know exactly how you feel. Most parents who throw parties for their kids, or even price these parties, know how expensive it can be for the host. They should know better than to bring other children to the party and expect you to pay. It would be tacky to put it on the invite, so make sure you write PLEASE RSVP in large letters along with your contact info. The time to tell them is when they call to rsvp. Let them know it's just for your son's classmates and that you wouldn't mind if the parent would like to stay (or whatever your preference is). This should help you avoid any additional costs and embarrassment on the part of your guests. I hope this helps. Have fun!

All my friends have multiple kids and it is just assumed that the siblings will attend and I assume I will pay for them. We have usually done parties at home or at parks where I am only paying for extra food. I am also having to pay for enough food for the parents and enough cake for all too. Consider that. As far as friends in my son's class, those siblings I do not know. This year I am giving each invited child a goodie bag and each sibling will get something too but it is a much, much cheaper, smaller goodie bag. I would suggest that on the invite you say, "siblings are welcome but there will be an additional charge for each if they want to participate. Please RSVP so that I know how much food to order and can prepay for those invited" and that is enough. Don't over word or overstate. Other moms would have no problem saying it to you! I have learned to be polite and to the point b/c no one else cares when they are up front with me! Good luck! W.

I would put it on the invitation so the day of the party you will not be stressed out about it and you can enjoy the party.
As a mother of three and all my friends have multiple kids, I would not be upset at all if I got an invitation that said it would be $x amount for extra siblings to go skating (or whatever you will be doing)
K. G

I would simply address the invitation to the invited child only with a please RSVP. I personally don't think any explanation is necessary but you know the people better than anyone so if you feel the need, when they RSVP, just explain that you have budgeted for the invited child only.
Good luck and have a great party!
T.

I would send a note w/ the invite. Short, sweet and to the point. You don't want the family of 4 kids to show up and not know they have to pay for 3. But you should not feel obligated to pay for the kids your child doesn't know or play with.

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Tell them in advance! Though it is rude to assume that a sibling is invited along with the invited guest...and most people understand that these events are costly. I usually use small print something like: "Siblings are welcome...{name of place of party} charges $xx per extra child."

Good luck!