I am so humbled by your loss, I am just in tears thinking about you. Call Loma Linda University, they have grief support groups including Compassionate Friends. Their number is ###-###-####. Grief is like a spiral, you don't start at one end and go down a path to "get over it". You may have a better day one day, then be right back at square one the next day with really intense fresh pain. If you don't have a Pastor that can help you, I can recommend going to the Packing House (Calvary Chapel) in Redlands, or Harvest in Riverside--call them; our own church, Community Cross in Highland, ask for Pastor Bob or Pastor Rob. ###-###-####. My dear, I am just sending you a hug and crying with you over the internet. I am so sorry. I hope you can at sometime begin to have some peace and memories of her that bring you joy once again. Lee Ann