How to Handle Another Parent/friend That Frequently Curses in Front of My Child

hmm...chances are the problem will *eventually* be addressed when they start hearing their child repeating those words - nothing like the surprise of hearing a little voice saying @#!% to make parents more careful about what they say around kids

seriously, though, if you don't want to wait that long, is your friend the type of person to whom you could just gently say that you've heard other parents tell of how much language-good and bad- that their kids pick up from them and so you've been trying hard to cut down on using those words around your child? it *can* be a difficult habit to break (maybe she's trying but just slips up a lot?), in our house my husband and I try to make a little game of it by just thinking of some silly word when we catch ourselves mid-swear ("um, 'shish-kebabs,' yeah, that's what I meant, we ought to grill some for dinner")

and when the day comes that your kid utters a word that's, um, not appropriate, a great book to share with him is "Elbert's Bad Word" by Audrey Wood - it's a humorous tale (with hilarious illustrations) of a boy who 'catches a bad word' (illustrated as a fuzzy bug-like creature) that he overhears at a grown-ups party. He unintentionally utters the word when a heavy object falls on his big toe and chaos ensues, fortunately he learns how to express himself more appropriately....actually, it might be a good book to share with your friend now, as it shows (in a comically exaggerated way) how our word choices can have unintended consequences.

If she is a good friend, then kindly just ask her not to swear in front of your boy. I am sure she will understand and it shouldn't be a big deal, really. My friends all apologize automatically when they accidentally say bad words in front of my child. You can just say, (in a friendly and nice way), "shhh...I don't want him to learn those words." and you can say it quietly as if they had made an honest mistake. Don't make a big deal out of it.

Hi A.,
If she is a very good friend, I would just be direct and say that you would really appreciate it if her and her husband would not swear in front of your son. I would not explain why as (a) it's pretty obvious why and (b) it could come across as judging her parenting style. If she asks why, I would just put it on yourself -- something like "Perhaps I'm overreacting, but I'm trying really hard to keep my son from hearing curse words for as long as possible" or "I've worked so hard to stop swearing myself, and I notice that I start to fall back into it when I'm around people who swear." On the rare occasion where a friend has sworn in front of my son, I've usually made kind of a silly, tsk-tsk face and said, "Small ears!" Your friend probably doesn't understand that receptive language begins much earlier than expressive language, but I would not explain that to her. As long as you steer clear of anything that sounds like you are judging her parenting you should be fine. If she cannot handle this simple request, I would question what other areas of your parenting she might undermine down the road.
K.

Honestly, do you think that your friend even realises that she is cursing? I used to curse alot and without even thinking about it, it dwindled big time when I had a kid, even though something may slip once in a blue moon. But you could also bring it up as a "topic of dicussion" next time.
Just ask her, how do you feel about cursing around kids? Because maybe she will say something along the lines of, I think that it is not good, and then in the back of her mind think to herself, ooh I do that. Than after a while, dont expect it to happen over night, talk to her directly if it doesnt dwindle at all.

HI A.,

I would guess that the less of a big deal you make it, the less of a big deal it will be. Next time they curse, simply say "We're trying to not to curse in front of ole virgin ears over here...don't want the first word to be *#*#." Then smile. It's not a big deal to ask them to stop and I'm sure they won't be offended, especially if you are good friends.

Good luck!