How to Get Someone to Believe the Truth?

You don't. If there is a valid reason for suspicion because you have cheated in the past, you may never be able to regain his/her trust. Sometimes the breach is irreparable and breaking up is inevitable no matter how long you draw out the process.

If there has never been a reason for the distrust, then he/she is showing you very clearly that they are not capable of being in a healthy relationship. You must end it, even if you L. them. L. won't be enough.

I wonder if he's cheating. You can't make someone trust you. If he has trust issues because you cheated in the past that is one thing, but if he just thinks you cheating then you have bigger issues. Control, would be one of them. You need to decide if this type of relationship is healthy for you. Personally, I would tell him to sod off. But that's me.

if someone is determined not to believe you, you CAN'T force them to accept the truth.
a good relationship is based in mutual trust. maybe you've given him good reason not to trust you, maybe he's just a controlling jerk who is using this as a whip to keep you in line, maybe he's hopelessly paranoid and projecting it all onto you.
regardless, you can't fix it. the real question is, is he willing to try and fix it with you, and are you willing to stick around and put up with it?
khairete
S.

Julie - that made me chuckle.

Well - there's so little info here.

Typically it's either because you've cheated in the past and he can't get past it or he has insecurities or control issues.

What's the history here?

Why would you want to be with someone who calls you a liar? You have a choice here.

You stop feeding into his insecurity. Many times when someone accuses you of cheating its because THEY are cheating and trying to gaslight you. One of the basic things a relationship needs as a foundation is trust. Either you have it or you don't In his case he doesn't have it. Suggest seeing a marriage therapist and if he doesn't go along with it then go see a therapist yourself to figure out if this is a relationship worth saving.

Have you ever given him a reason to think you are lying?

What type of relationship are you in.... Married? Live together? 1st marriage? Did a previous relationship end due to cheating?

I would not be able to live in an environment like that. It's unhealthy for both of you.

You can't make someone believe you. I wonder if he is super insecure, cheating on you, or you've given him a reason to believe you are cheating.

You can't.
Belief and facts rarely have anything to do with each other.
If your significant other is having trust issues, then you need marriage counseling.
You need to find out why they are feeling so insecure - you may or may not be able to do anything about it.
If that doesn't work, then you'll be headed for divorce.

he is not happy with him self. if he cant be happy then he desntt want you to be happy.

You can't control what other people think.

1. He's probably cheating.
2. It's a way to control you so that he knows where you are and what you are doing every minute of the day.
3. Run!!! Run away from him as fast as you can. It will only get worse.

Uh--you don't.
You leave.
Without trust? There's no relationship to salvage.
Good luck!

Answer depends on if you have cheated.

If you cheated, there is massive insecurity. You both need to work together to fix that. Couples counseling, etc.

If you have NEVER cheated - this is all on him, you need to leave. This isn't healthy. It's abusive and controlling, and NOTHING you do will fix this.

I used to be best friends with a lady that had the ex from hell. She worked at a glass manufacturing company here in Oklahoma. They would often have stuff coming down the line and need to finish that before they left. So she might be 20-40 minutes late. Sometimes it was something else, traffic, some boss stopping her on the way out to speak with her about something, or even her hurrying to get home would get her a speeding ticket.

He would often meet her at the door with a shot gun. Accusing her of cheating and all sorts of things. She had a bunch of kids with him because he refused to let her use birth control and she felt trapped.

She left him and took her kids one day. He raged and hunted them and didn't find them until the divorce was final and he had visitation.

Years later, when they kids were starting to be teenagers, she would still show her friends and co-workers his picture and tell them if they ever saw him anywhere they should let her know right away. If he was asking questions about her they should say they didn't know that name or if shown a photo and they couldn't lie they were to say they didn't know her well.

She was still afraid of him years later is my point. Things like this, the accusations and more that you're not saying, are only going to grow and grow. Please go to counseling as soon as possible. If he/she won't go with you then go for yourself.

For you, so you can grow and learn skills to recognize when it's normal concern and when it's not.

Wh would you have to stay overnight at work?

That question aside, if they keep accusing you and you are innocent then I would assume they have low self esteem or self worth. Talk with them, explain what their distrust is doing to the relationship. In the end you can not have L. without trust, so if they are unwilling to get help (marriage counseling would be a great first step) then I would, for my own sense of self worth, have to walk away.

When you say "stay over at work" do you mean stay the night, or work overtime? have you cheated in the past? or has he? sounds like he is a cheater and cannot believe you are not.

This man is abusive. Make a plan and leave, file for a divorce. If he is threatening you call the police and file a report. Get as much documentation as you an to prove your point in court.

Marriage counseling ASAP. Then a divorce if you are married. Why? Because he does not want you to live in peace. He wants to control you at what ever cost it is to your health.

You cannot be yourself if you are constantly on pins and needles trying to "please" him to keep him from being a jerk.

A relationship needs mutual respect and trust. If you cannot do this then there is no relationship because there is no foundation. You are only responsible for your own happiness and no one else's.

Hope you do add more to your post and that you figure out what YOU need for the future. I hope you don't have any kids with this guy.

the other S.

PS I stop off after work and hit a fabric store. Hubby called me once when I was on my way out of the store and I had to move away from the counter so that I could respond to him without the rest of the world listening in on my response. When I got home we had a discussion and he does not call me. I appreciate the concern but I do not have to answer to him as a child would a parent. He is home due to medical issues and I do try to take that into consideration but don't call me to check up on me.

Well it depends on where you work. If you work at a bank and you had to stay over at work I would say you were cheating too.

Your loved one has major trust issues. Counseling?

i am often called a liar. so i know how it feels. but since i rarely ever lie i know that he has issues that he needs to work thru. i simply tell him to believe what he wants to believe and that i can't change the truth. i also tell him to spy on me, to watch my every move. i have friends and family that can verify the truth and when he wants to pull his head outta his bottom then he will see that his behavior is inappropriate. and that thinking i am a liar is only hurting the relationship

Let your character speak for you. You never should defend the truth. Its a defense all by itself and speaks for itself. Live in it, and it will show itself every time.
Be well.

There is a lack of trust in this relationship.

Your husband needs counseling. Tell him in order to keep the marriage together he has to start going to counseling to work on himself and his extreme insecurities. Also, do couples counseling for the two of you. ASAP!

Sounds like a bigger issue. I'd seek counseling - on my own if your partner refuses to go. My mother's horrible ex-husband accused her of everything under the moon - when he was the one stepping out on HER. He was emotionally abusive. A good counselor will either help you two get past this or help you get the strength to leave.

Updated

Sounds like a bigger issue. I'd seek counseling - on my own if your partner refuses to go. My mother's horrible ex-husband accused her of everything under the moon - when he was the one stepping out on HER. He was emotionally abusive. A good counselor will either help you two get past this or help you get the strength to leave.