How to Get My Daughter to Shower Without Nightly Fight

I have a daughter and the exact same problem. I do the every other night thing it is better for thier skin and their hair to be showering only every other. One thing that has worked for me is I do the warning after we are done w/ this you will be taking a shower. I also remind in the AM tonight is shower night or the night before tomorrow is shower night. I remember as a kid my younger sister used to carry on about the shower one day my mother had enough gave her the last warning and picked her up and put her in the shower clothes and all! Oh the shock......for me too! I don't remember a whole lot of problems after that because she knew what the final consequence would be. I tell my daughter that story sometimes when I am getting a really hard time.....I think she knows I might do it :)

Hi K. -

I have the same issues with getting my boys into the shower. First off, I only make them shower every other day unless they have been running around getting sweaty and need it more often. When it's time for them to get into the shower I don't fight with them. I've made a game out of it and it works like a charm. At first I would get out the water squirt bottle that we use to mist hair in the morning if needed and set it to a straight stream. If they don't listent the first time I start squirting them until they comply. (Works well with getting them up in the morning, too.) I've told them time and time again if they aren't going to get into the warm shower in the bathroom then I'll give them a cold one with the squirt bottle. Now all I have to do is ask if I need to get it and most often they comply. The times they don't it's more or less because they're in a good mood, want to play around an get squirted. No more arguments here. Withn minutes they are in the shower. I also made it a game of who can take the quickest shower, the winner gets to pick the movie, have a treat, etc.

Hope this helps - S.

Unless she's been playing hard in the dirt and whatnot, showering every night isn't a must at 7, and can be bad for her skin as the soap will dry it out. That's one way of lessening the fighting. How to not fight with her about it? Only if you give up or when she hits puberty and she becomes obsessed with her appearance and how she smells. Getting her out, the only thing I can suggest is turning off the water supply after about 10 or 15 minutes. By that time she should be clean, especially if she's showering nightly. A few times of that and she's not likely to play around.

When I was 7 I was allowed to take baths and play in the tub. I also only bathed every other day. Would you she maybe prefer baths? Or, could you try this?? Immediately after dinner, send her to the bathroom on her own, shut the door and leave. Tell her she can't come out to play until she is finished with her shower. (I don't mean to lock her in or trap her in, though). Take anything she could possibly play with out of the bathroom. Then leave her alone. With no attention from you and nothing else to do in the bathroom, maybe she will take a shower because there is nothing else to do. If she comes out without a shower, silently lead her back and shut the door again. That way she isn't being entertained by negative attention from you but you are still enforcing the plan. Maybe I'm off my rocker, but it seems worth a shot.

try one of those shower radios, then maybe since she likes to sing in the shower that'll make her want to get in faster.

Does she really need a shower every night? Maybe you could dial it back a bit and have her take one every other night and it would cut down on your aggravation as well as the stress level. It sounds like you are really busy and maybe your morning is just as hectic, but what about showering in the morning, even if it was with you. My 7 year old daughter still showers with me on occasions especially when time is a big factor. Maybe take her to the store and let her pick out some "fancy" shampoo or soap. Or make it into a game or start a reward system. It is hard to figure out their currency, it obviously isn't sleeping with your or watching a show, since you have tried using those as bartering tools. And maybe it is just that you find yourself bartering. Maybe a firm approach is what is needed. Set out your expectations very clearly, i.e., you will brush your teeth and get in the shower at 7:30 pm no ifs and buts about it. You will be in my arms by 8 pm so I can brush your hair and read you a story and that is what I expect. It is surprising how just sitting down with them and explaining to them your expectations can have a real impact. I have a 7 year old daughter and she is in la la land half of the time, but trust me it is just a phase, I also have a 10 and 12 year old too and showering is now a breeze with them, they do it now without even being asked. It is a likely a control issue too. Good Luck!

does she like baths better? or do showers everyother night, especially now when they are not outside all day like in the summer we do showers everyother day, do you have two girls let them take a bath together, my girls are 5 and 1 1/2 and love to take baths together.

I would put her in the tub and bathe her like you do your 2 yr old (just running water no filling up for playtime). If she wants to throw tantrums like a baby, treat her like one. She won't like it and will want her independence back to shower by herself. You can bathe her in 5-10 min. She won't like it, but that is the point. As for the showering everyday, that is way too much. Every other day is plenty for kids - unless they are outdoors getting sweaty and dirty.

Hi K.,
I don't know if you've tried this but you said she likes it once she's in it so maybe you could tell her that you will start taking away minutes in the shower. Start with a 20 minute shower and if it takes 15 minutes to get in the shower she has 5 minutes to enjoy her shower. And if she doesn't have any time left then she gets in and you wash her hair then gets out, no fun time. Or you could try an award system. You could make a chart and if she gets in the shower in under 5 minutes she could get rewarded with something really fun and if she goes under 10 something maybe not as rewarding ect. Just a couple thoughts. Good luck.
Chris

I don't make my kids shower everyday unless they need to. Every other day has worked fine. If they want to shower more I'm not going to tell them no but I set a routine of every other day and have stuck to it and now they just do what they have to do. I made bathtime playtime for my 2 year old and he loves getting in the tub. Whether he stays in for 1/2 hour or 10 minutes as long as he has toys he's happy. It's exhausting but routine and persistance pays off in the end. Good luck!

Granted, my kids don't get very dirty, but they take a shower or bath(their choice) only once or twice a week and we have no problems. Taking too many showers may increase dry skin/ cause more sensitive skin issues, too. They are 10 and 7. Like I said, they just don't get very dirty, have homework to do, etc. Maybe you could do washcloth/soap quick washes at the sink before bed in between showers?

She has a bedtime routine, just one that you don't like, or one any Mom would like for that matter! Stop the control issue. Relax on the daily showering if you can, as she gets older she will shower more as she needs to. Right now it is about control and playing you. Be firm. She has no consequence, other than your yelling, to not taking the shower when you want her to. So start disciplining her, and be very firm with it. Take something away as another poster suggested. She will get it after a few days, and realize it is not worth the fight.

Well, here is a sure fire way to cut the fights in 1/2. She doesn't need a shower everyday. Now, for the way she is acting, I wouldn't fight with her. She knows that you will fight back and she is obviously getting a rise out of it. I would simply set her down and talk with her calmly about the situation. Let her know that she will be in control, but the are consequences for her actions. If she is not going to take her shower when you tell her to, then she can simply go straigt to bed. No tv, no reading, no playing, whatever. I guarantee that after a couple days of you sticking to this, you will no longer have this problem

K.

First, she doesn't need a nightly shower at age 7 unless she's getting in messy stuff all day, so maybe try a reversal and say she has 5 min to start it and then it'll be bed immediately. I do well giving choices: Shower and bed or just bed. Also if I talk to them about a problem after the fact (before falling a sleep seems to be a prime heart-to-heart time) and say "I need you help with this. When you don't shower and get to bed on time, it upsets me because its my job to keep you clean, healthy and safe. I need ypu to cooperate so we can be happy and get 2 year old in the good habit, too..." whatever you want to say, but I appeal to their desire for control, Thats pretty much what they're all about! She's young enough that you can offer the choice of shower in 15 min on your own or I'll bathe you in the tub. Good luck!

You didnt mention how old your daughter is. I just went through something similar with my 3 1/2 year old. I think you need to stop the arguing. You are the boss, you need to take that back. Start doing the 1 2 3 method. If she argues or complains, give her a 1, DO NOT ARGUE with her, just let her try to correct her attitude. If she doesnt fix it give her a 2, again NO ARGUEING. On 3 she goes into time out or take away a priviledge . It will definitly not be easy, especially at first but you have to be consistant. Hard to do when you are a busy mom with things to do. But if she sees a window of opportunity to act up or take advantage of you being tired she will try again. Also the timer only works if you enforce it everytime! If she enjoys the shower time so much then time that, and if shes naughty then shorten that time.
Consistancy. Hang in there.

Start taking away privileges. Give her 5 minutes to get undressed and then in the shower. If she doesn't, take away something. Take away something else every 5 minutes... and stick to it.

When my son was this age, I had to make a schedule for him. I filled in dinner an bedtime, made a list of the other things like homework, bath, and playtime or tv/video game time and let him put them in the schedule in the order he wanted them to go. We posted it on the wall, and if he wanted to do something, I referred him to the schedule that he made. We would review it every couple of weeks, so if he complained that he didn't like the way it was laid out, I just reminded him that he could change on the next review day. When the time for one thing was up, it was over, therefor, if he procrastinated, then it was bedtime. Good luck. This is normal for this age, at least it was for us. In a few years, she will be taking 3 a day if you let her. Probably every other day is good until she starts to perspire. Maybe getting her the american girl book about her body and caring for it would help.

I wish I had advice - I am actually looking forward to reading the advice given. I have been battling this same problem forever now and my daughter is 11. Just know you aren't alone. My daugther is great - until it is time to shower than it is an all night ordeal to get her there and once you get her in you can't get her out. Same exact problem - I wish you luck!

I would first stop yelling and arguing! I would tell her to make the choice of when she wants to take her shower, but she is getting ready for bed at 9. Then at 8:30 give her a 30 minute warning. A 15 minute warning and if she doesn't get a shower, but her to bed. If she is just 7 and not outside all day...oh well. She will live and you'll probably only have to do it once.

I have three kids that shower every morning and I simply wake them up and expect them to be ready for the bus at the designated time. At 7 she should know her schedule and should be learning to manage her time. Let her fail a couple times and learn her lesson and quit fighting about it. She need to learn.