How to Get My 6 Year Old to Go to Sleep on His Own?

Well telling them to go to bed and shutting the door is how you do it, but you can transition more delicately than that. I would have a talk with him about being older now and it's time for him to go to sleep on his own. Make a big deal about it. Tell him what you are going to do. Read, kiss, lights out and leave. Tell him to listen to your sounds in the house to reassure him that you are just in the other room. Tell him to stay in bed not to come out looking for you. Tell him that the first night he does this he gets a prize (small toy). Then once he does this without a big fuss for a week (make a sticker chart) he can get a special trip out (museum - zoo etc). You could even give him a special flashlight before you start.

Continue to praise and talk about when it will happen etc..

My kids do the best when they are fully informed and they also like praise and rewards are nice.

We just got rid of my 3 yo bottle at night with this same system, minus the prizes. Praise was enough for him. Maybe I will take him out this weekend and get him a big boy gift for it.

We like story time.
I like reading a chapter to him at bed time and then I'll turn on some soft music and read something of my own for a few songs (I have a book light so the room is dark but I can still read) until I tell my son good night and leave his room.
Why?
If he's not settled down, he'll sneak read until 3 am and then be exhausted the next day.
It's always been the trick to get him to settle down long enough (20-30 min) so he's sleepy enough to drift off otherwise he just keeps on thinking of something else he needs/wants to do.
He's 14 yrs old and we're not ready to give it up yet.
Sometimes if he pulls a late working homework session we'll skip the story and go straight to the music.
He just took another reading level test and once again he scored off the scale (1700+ is the highest score possible).
He's just finishing 8th grade and his score is the highest his teacher has ever seen.
I credit his reading/comprehension skills to our reading routine.
So really - I'm not sure that NOW - as your son is just starting school - is the right time to do away with a story time bed time routine.
Just modify it so you're not laying in bed with him as he falls asleep.
Sit near him in a chair instead.
Start by cutting back on the frequency of being in bed with him.
First every other night, then every few nights, then once a week (on Friday's or when ever you pick).

Unless you have major issues during the transition, then I don't think you need a prize.

For me us, I just slowly changed things, much like you would transition from breast milk to formula, or formula to milk... you change the amounts. :)

Instead of 100% mommy lies in bed until he falls asleep, and 0% he's alone before falling asleep, you change the percentages... gradually. Mommy lies with him in bed (or on the bed, whatever you do) for 90% of the time, and then gets up (I always had a "reason"--like, I needed to empty the dishwasher, or I needed to fold the clothes from the dryer). So the last 10% of the time you are gone doing whatever, and he is alone (but can hear you doing things, so he has that assurance that you are near).

After a day or two, you up the percentage of alone time, say to maybe 80/20. Then after a few days of that, you make it 50/50. After a week or so of that, you go 25/75... and then you say, I will lie here with you for 2 minutes, and then I have to go out so you can go to sleep. (no arguing, no carefulness that you don't want to upset him, not accidentally asking him if he is ok with that--- you just tell him that matter-of-factly). And then you stick there for a long, long while.
What is 2, 3 minutes? You'll miss that one day. And one day, you will just walk out after kisses and good nights and not even think about lying down, and he will be fine. And that will become the new normal very quickly.

Know up front, that you may not get "relief" from that last 2 minutes for a few years yet... (unless you really want to force that, too)... but it is kinda nice, really. Count in your head to 120 or 150, slowly, and do not let yourself fall asleep, or be talked into staying longer. You must be consistent. I did it this way when my son was 3, and he adjusted just fine. We still read bedtime stories until he was probably 5th grade, though. :)

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Gidget, I totally forgot, but I did that, too! (telling him I would come back in a few minutes to check on him, and then making sure to follow through, for that trust thing. :) And like you, even after he stopped "needing" me to do that, if I SAID I was coming to check on him, I did, even if I knew he was asleep.)

We discontinued the laying down w/ our daughter when she was 3.5 or 4 years old, don't remember exactly. Because at that point she could understand: you stay in bed, you go to sleep now. Your son is more than past that point of understanding this. So focus on that aspect of it: "You're no longer a baby, going into Kindergarten now, and all your friends/cousins go to bed on their own now, too."

For our daughter, we gave her one time per night that she could call us back into her room for whatever (water, one more kiss, etc.) If we heard from her more than that (barring any illness going on, etc.), then some sort of privilege was taken away the following day ... ours was TV) Good luck! Your son can do this for sure!

i'd do everything in your current routine except stay in bed with him after story time.
khairete
S.

I did it much the same way as Isn'tthisfun?. I hadn't lay in bed with my oldest (now almost 7). Our routine had been for me to lean on his bed, rub his back and continue singing until he fell asleep. Ug!

I started out by just singing a song or two and then sitting next to the bed. That much was really nice for me at first! Then I did things a lot like Isn'tthisfun?. I made excuses to leave the room (dishes, laundry, bathroom) and promised to always come back. And I did always come back! At first I really was just gone a minute or two because I really wanted him to trust me that I would. I gradually lengthened the time I was gone - 5 minutes, 10 minutes. Soon I would come back to a sleeping boy. But for awhile I still always came back. It really wasn't too long before we were able to shorten the routine to bath, pj's, brush teeth, read 2 books (ok, sometimes more), prayers, kisses, I leave.

My youngest is 4, and after books, prayers, kisses, lights out, I sit and read my Nook. He is much more of a wiggle worm than his older brother, and he will often try to get out of bed. So, I've kind of been hesitant to try and leave the room. Guess I might need to adjust the weening process for this one, but isn't that the way it goes. What works for one kid doesn't necessarily work for the other.

I agree that the transition is totally worth the amount of time it takes. I really want my boys to know that Mommy and Daddy are there for them at night, that we're not leaving them and just saying, "Go to sleep." They know we're there and really feel safe.

Read a book, tuck in, goodnight!

We just delt with this with out 4 yr old daughter. We are living with her dads parents until we can afford a house n it got to the point where only grandma could put her to bed, shed wake grandma up before we could get up the stairs (shed shoot right up n start knocking on the door) of course shed get in trouble but I finally said enough is enough one night n grandma stopped laying down with her and going to sleep. Now anyone can put her to bed and she's good. Grandma still puts her to bed about 4 nights a week but she is fine with dad or me. It all started when we moved her bed room and grandma started laying on her floor holding her hand. But she's only fallen aeep with her a couple times which isn't a huge deal

I had this issue with both of my boys until they were about age 9. So maybe I'm not the best source of information for what works! However, I just wanted to chime in that I agree with those who recommended a gradual transition. I think a lot depends on the temperament of your child, which you know best. My kids were both too "spirited" to go the "cold turkey" route. I also wanted to let you know that my boys are now teenagers and sleep like very normal teenagers. My youngest even went to bed at 8:30 one night last week without any prompting on our part because he said, "I'm tired; I'm going to bed early." I had books and well-intentioned family members tell me that I was setting them up for a lifetime of sleep problems, but that didn't happen. I am a firm believer in that you have to do what works for your family and your child. I also frequently recommend the book, "Sleepless in America" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (also author of the Spirited Child books) because her methods were very child-friendly and very helpful for us. Good luck!

I'd try the supernanny approach. She sits in the midde of the room without looking at or paying any attention to the child. If they get out of bed, she puts them back into bed without a word. The child gets bored pretty soon and finally falls asleep.

You move your chair closer to the door every night until your chair is outside the door. At the point that he stops coming out of the room, move your chair down the hall. You won't have to sit there anymore at some point.

He's old enough to listen to you. He's old enough to understand. What I'm offering here is a kind way to wean him.

Good luck!

Haven't read any of the posts so sorry if this repeats but create a bedtime check list and let him know that since he is such a big boy now that he gets to do it himself. I saw this once on Supernanny I think. Read the bedtime story or have it as one of the checklist items. And mommy or daddy laying down with him is not one of them. Maybe will work. I keep saying I'm going to do the same for my kids bc they like to stall going to bed sometimes. Good Luck

cold turkey. He is old enough to understand he will sleep on his own. Start now so that by the time school starts he is sleeping on his own. Do all your regular stuff then say good night. If he does the whol mommy mommy mommy thing tell him each time you have to come back he will go to bed that much earlier. This exact reason is why I have never been a fan of co sleeping. which I know is not really what you do but it has the same effect kid can't sleep without a parent next to him.

I would not start off with a shut door. I would say ok good night don't get up again. and if you do there will be a consequence. whatever consequence works for your family. no tv next day or video or computer whatever.