M.B.
I love "Love and Logic" too!
Only ask once. Never raise your voice, just let her know that you need her to do...x,y,z. Give them a measurable amount of time to do it in (ex. I need to do this now or I've set the timer for 10 minutes and I need you to do this before the timer goes off.) Then if it's not done in the time frame, do it yourself and then charge her for your labor.
I'm so sorry that you couldn't get what I asked you to do done when I asked you to do it. I had to go ahead and do it for you and I have taken your...(favorite toy) as payment for doing your work for (a day a week, whatever.)
Good luck!