How to Get a 5 Yo to Do Things When Told

Updated on December 17, 2009
T.S. asks from Buckeye, AZ
4 answers

My 5 yo girl is in this phase where she won't listen and do what she is told when she is told. It's like a teenager in a 5 year old's body. I spend the entire day yelling for her to do something, which is neither productive or helping my sanity. I can't even get her to put shoes on, much less pick up. I have tried making games out of it (that worked for about two seconds), reward system, etc. I don't know what else to do. I would be happy if she did as told within the first 5 times of telling her! I even asked her one time when she was going to start listening better. Her response was: "Mommy, I think I well start listening better when I'm 10 years old." At the very least, I only have 5 more years of this :-) Please help me keep my sanity.

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M.B.

answers from Phoenix on

I love "Love and Logic" too!

Only ask once. Never raise your voice, just let her know that you need her to do...x,y,z. Give them a measurable amount of time to do it in (ex. I need to do this now or I've set the timer for 10 minutes and I need you to do this before the timer goes off.) Then if it's not done in the time frame, do it yourself and then charge her for your labor.

I'm so sorry that you couldn't get what I asked you to do done when I asked you to do it. I had to go ahead and do it for you and I have taken your...(favorite toy) as payment for doing your work for (a day a week, whatever.)

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Sounds like she's testing the waters. You need to let her know what the consequences will be if she doesn't do as asked, when you ask. Then, follow through. You may have to take away TV time, a favorite stuffed animal, playdates, a favorite toy, etc. Find out what is is she really can't live without and take it away. Once she realizes that you mean what you say,she should start responding a little better. Hope it helps!

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A.

answers from Phoenix on

Have you heard of the book, Have a New Kid by Friday, by Dr. Kevin Leman? I also have a 5yo (boy) and seem to be going through the same thing. I am in the middle of reading this book and he seems to have some great ideas. I have not started using them yet but I am hoping it will work.

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K.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Read "Love and Logic" by Fey and Cline. It will change your life instantly.

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