My almost 3 year old daughter keeps getting out of bed and coming over to our room. On bad nights, she can get up as much as 8-10 times throughout the night and this goes on for a few weeks, then she stops for several days, and she is back to the same routine. When she comes over, she just states she wants to go back to bed. Of course, the lack of sleep makes her cranky and crys most of the day, even at daycare. I am wondering if she has some sort of disorder (like sleep or something else). Does anyone have any advice on how to prevent or limit this behavior as I am completely exhausted and sometimes she wakes up her 8 month old sister?
When you hear her getting up, go immediately and pick her up and put her back in bed. You may have to do it a couple times, but don't talk while you do it, and don't say goodnight again, or do anything more than put her back in bed. Oh, and a cup of warm milk before bed is a good idea, too!
Once upon a time, we had this same issue. We resolved it by locking her door from the outside. I know it sounds mean, but honestly she would get up, try the door, and then get back in bed and go back to sleep. It didn't seem to scar her for life or anything. =) She's 4 now, and sleeps all night in her own room just fine. In our case, it turned out to be sleepwalking. She would wake up, talk to us, wander around the house - but just switching the door handle around so the lock was on the outside worked fine for us and I felt better knowing she was safe in her room and not wandering all over the house unsupervised.
One question that popped into my mind as I read your request is where does the 8 month old sleep? Is it possible that your 3 year old is feeling left out because she's the only one sleeping away from the rest of the family? I know that a lot of parents keep the baby in their room or in an adjacent room for the first year, so that's what brought this to my mind.
You might also want to give some thought to how tired she really is when she goes to bed. If her schedule during the day either isn't active enough to have her sufficiently tired at bedtime, or if on the other hand she's too tired before she goes to sleep, these can affect how well she sleeps through the night. Since you say she has times when she does sleep through it might be a good idea to pay special attention to what might have been different on the day prior to a good night of sleep.
One more idea ... and I know this one sounds like an old wive's remedy, but it really can be helpful ... have you tried a cup of milk just before she goes to bed? I have learned from a nutritionist friend that taking a calcium supplement prior to going to bed can help a person sleep better, and now I understand the idea behind the 'cup of warm milk' theory. It must be the calcium in the milk that makes it a good sleep enhancer.
The Sleepeasy Solution has some really good ideas for this age. You might find it at the library.
The basics are:
1)make a "sleep book" for your child about how you want things to be. Have her color it. Read it at bedtime
2)Install a baby gate (hardware) at her door and get her involved in the process. Talk about why you are doing it.
3) when she gets up walk her back to bed calmly, don't talk or make eye contact. Do this everytime.
It may take a few nights of this.
Good luck!
-C.
If you look through old requests (by topic--see column of topics) you will see many requests about babies and toddlers that have sleep issues. You are not alone. = )
It sounds like the whole family must be exhausted, not just the 3yo.
She could be having bad dreams, or there could be strange sounds in her room (I mention this because my husband tried laying in our son's bed at night and found that he was right, it did sound "creepy" in there, because sound was bouncing down the long hallway), or who knows. It will probably correct itself as she gets older. But for now, to let everyone get more sleep, maybe you could lie down with her, or stay the night with her once or twice (if the bed isn't big enough, maybe on the floor next to her). If you are with her at night, you may realize what is causing her to wake up (dreams, sounds), or if she just isn't getting to sleep in the first place---and you can work from there.
We gate our son in and leave him some boring toys and books. Sometimes water if he seems to need it. If he knows anyone else is awake in the house he will want to play and will keep himself awake as long as as it takes (and I do mean as long as it takes!) Sometimes he falls asleep on the floor with the toys but that's ok!
I think Betty has a point where she might be getting out because she feels left out. I saw something the other day that I thought was a cute idea. It was a big stop light that had removeable buttons for the red, green and yellow lights ... they are allowed to get up a total of 3 times and then they have to STOP and stay in bed after that. I felt that was a visual reminder that they have already been up a couple of times and they now needed to stay in bed. I think something like that would help.
Good Luck!
I made my children, all 3, a magic bed next to my side of the bed. It was a pillow and a child sized sleeping bag. They knew if they came in our bedroom, the magic bed was ready and protected them from bad dreams. We all slept GREAT! I never stept on any of them. I don't think it was any kind of a sleep disorder, just a 'busy brained' child. they are all adults and seem to be well adjusted...A.
