How to Fire Nanny Because of Language Barrier?

ETA:

I think the car seat thing isn't necessarily related to language - that sounds like she's not up to date on what's safe. We had the same problem with my MIL and other relatives. We just provided all car seats/high chairs/gear - period. Lesson learned - problem solved.

As for language - If you say 'you cannot handle an emergency situation for us' - it might make little sense to her, because you hired her when she would have had less english.

That's the part I'm not fully understanding.

Plenty of people leave their children with relatives with little english, who may be even be older (e.g. grandmothers) and feel perfectly safe. Not to be judgmental - but maybe you're just anxious because of her recent accident. Keep in mind, emergency situations are pretty rare and typically they have someone who can handle different languages.

I do think it was unrealistic to expect her to learn a new language in 5 months.

My brother hired nannies who were not english speaking from another country to care for his children, and to live with them. They had enough basic english to get by. He hired them through an organization. They met the requirements.

He could make his concerns known (if any) back to the organization. I don't know if he had any, but I don't think safety was ever one of them. I don't know if you went through one or not.

If you have to let her go, I think you just have to be honest and say you thought you'd be ok with the language barrier but realize, you're always feeling somewhat anxious. You feel this isn't a great fit and you are sorry - you hadn't thought things through fully. Own it. She really hasn't done anything wrong. You say she's sweet and the kids adore her.

I'd give her PLENTY of notice, and great recommendation and work with her while you look for someone you feel more comfortable with.

Good luck

"I knew that she didn’t speak English well when I hired her but she said she was eager to learn and wanted to nanny in an English speaking house."

So you placed above everything else, the concept of giving this stranger, free (even better - paid!) language immersion lessons.

I sense that there is something you're not telling us. (She must have been a "good deal" in some way.) Whatever it is, shame on you for putting that above being able to form a strong "team" with your nanny for the care and safety of your children.

You should replace her with someone you can communicate with.

i'm flummoxed as to why you hired her in the first place. did you think she'd become fluent in a week or two?

if she were my nanny, i'd take a couple of days with her and hire a translator. i'd spend two full days going over EVERYTHING to make sure that she understands car seats, meds, diet, discipline, safety and i'd run a few emergency drills with her.

but if you want to fire her for your own lack of accommodation, rip off the bandaid. 'maria, this is a difficult conversation to have. i made a terrible mistake, and this is not your fault. i really want a fluent english speaker for my kids, and the language barrier is creating situations that make me too uncomfortable to continue our business relationship. i'll give you two weeks severance pay, and promise to give you fantastic recommendations with the understanding that i'd be frank with other parents about the language issue. thank you for trying so hard and doing so well, and i apologize sincerely for my own lack of clarity in my expectations of you.'

khairete
S.

I'm afraid I have a lot of questions. I don't want to be disrespectful of your worries, but I'm not sure I get it. Are you married? If so, what does your husband think? How old are your children? How many hours a week is she working? It kind of sounds like you are present when she is coming to "help"? The car seat thing is a misunderstanding, lots of people would feel differently than you. I'm not saying you weren't right, I get that, but I think it would be a problem if she didn't honor your request, and she did.

Your nanny must have some English, unless you are speaking to her in Spanish? Your children adore her? To me, that relationship would be paramount for young children. Even with limited English in an emergency, Spanish speaking people call 911 all the time, especially in the Chicago area. Are your kids learning Spanish? To me, that would be another added benefit.

Obviously, if you can't get comfortable with her, it's a bad idea for her to be caring for your kids. But, I think you might want to see if you can get more comfortable, maybe by spending more time together doing an activity at a museum or shopping trip or something so you can see how she communicates with your kids and others. At the very least, please give her a good recommendation.

Find someone who speaks Spanish and have her/him translate. Honestly don’t see a big deal.

I guess I think it's a real shame that you both have not made more progress in 5 months. You like her, the kids like her, she likes you all. She tells you all kinds of stuff and you understand her just fine. She needed her husband's help with the police to describe the details of an accident, but maybe she was stressed, and truthfully, in an emergency, I think the police would have managed to find someone. Dispatchers, first responders, hospitals, courts....all have people who speak various languages.

I wonder why your anxiety is greater now than it was 5 months ago. Did something else happen? Maybe not related to her, but something else to stress you out and make you unsure? I know that, when I made a mistake with my son, it was easier to blame someone else than to say, "You know, I could have shown her hot to put my kid in the seat properly to begin with."

I tutor Spanish to adults, so I know what's involved in learning another language. However, there are all kinds of tools available to help - Google Translate is just one. They aren't foolproof, but neither is basic English-to-English communication. You could also hire a translator to write out for you 50 basic sentences or vocabulary words in a side-by-side chart. That could include basic emergency information. You could print our diagrams from the carseat company (or your appliance companies or anyone else) that show proper usage. Your nanny isn't learning English in part because she's with kids and not adults.

But you kind of hired her, from your post, to help her, even knowing her limitations. To throw in the towel now, after your kids are attached to her and she knows your routine, seems a bit hasty. But if you've made up your mind, and you're sure that your anxiety isn't part of the problem (because if it is, you'll have trouble with the next person's vigilance too), then you tell her that her English isn't good enough for you after 5 months, and you're making a change. Personally, I'd put in the effort to make this situation better, but that's just me. You may find that babysitters are really easy to find and you're willing to pay even more to get what you want.

It is not helpful or necessary to get into the various details of the situation because even you aren't clear or at least fully transparent about your reasons for wanting to terminate her employment. Is it really the language barrier as you say in your title, or is it that you really don't feel your children are as safe as possible with her?

Regardless, this isn't working out for you. The reason for having a nanny is for someone to step in and perform childcare duties when you cannot be with your children.

I don't know what kind of contract you have with this nanny. If you have a written one, you must abide by those terms when you release her from employment. If you simply had a verbal agreement, you should provide her notice immediately so she can find other employment and give her at least two week's pay. Please don't think of letting her go without doing this.

Using a translator (preferably one that you obtain -not her husband- so that you can keep this short, sweet, and to the point) just tell her that her services are not necessary at this time, that you wish her well and thank her for the time she cared for your children, and that you will be staying with your children for the foreseeable future (because you will be until you find a new nanny).

I would not have a long or protracted discussion. This is a business arrangement that is not working out for you, and you have the right to end this arrangement.

In the future, for your own sanity and out of fairness to the nanny, be very clear with yourself and with her/him about your "must-haves" in terms of qualifications, experience, and expectations for your childcare workers.

I'm having difficulty believing that you hired someone to look after your kids that you have no way of communicating with.
I guess you will need a translator to help you out when you tell her - you tell her thank you for your service but it's just not working out.
Never mind language, if you feel she's not safe to look after your kids then you can't even in good conscience provide a reference for her.