J.F.
I am so glad that I really made an effort with my girls in explaining this because unfortunately for her and myself, she was molested (by a 16yr old boy while in her fathers care) she was sleeping and she woke to this, she screamed (like someone had shot her) slapped him about 30 times (my ex had to pull her off of him, she was trying to rip out his eyes etc) the boy had pee'd himself b/c she was beating on him and scared the you knows outta him. He spent 1 yr in youth detention.
Although I did not ever pushed her to be violent that was what her reaction was and I Thank God that she did that instead of not saying anything to anyone like I did (I was molested from age 10-12 before I told my mom)
When they were young and giving them a bath is when I would talk to them about it, so not remembering much of what I said, but today (yrs later) they will both tell you what I said and one thing I said all the time was "No one but Mommy Daddy or the Dr touches your bum" If someone is touching you and you are uncomfortable, you tell them NO" I also added that touching and being uncomfortable could be touching anywhere, not just privates... if someone is hugging you, touching your arm, etc and you feel funny or creepy, you tell them NO