How to Explain a Cemetary/death to a 3 Yr Old?

I would get his perspective on it then build from there - there are also books at the library to help - ask the children's section librarian they will probably know what books will help. However - I think the subject is a little over their heads at three unless they have experienced death/funeral etc. I waited to tell my son about it all until he was at a funeral at 4 - and the second funeral at 5 he actually understood what was going on. I think this is a life lesson best understood thru experience to be honest.

Ask him what he thinks it means. Kids understand more than we think.

I always told my kids that some day, a hundred years from now, they will get so old and wrinkly that their body will stop working, and their soul will go to heaven to be with God.

short, sweet, & very simple.....

parents tend to overthink & worry about discussing death....& other life events.

Make it as simple as possible. Explore his thoughts & understanding of the issue.....& take it from there. Kids are curious, & that's how they learn!

This is a great book:
Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryan Mellonie

It explains that all living things have a "life" with a beginning, a middle and an end. Birds, dogs, cats, people, plants, etc. You can tell him that normally, people get to the end of their life after a looooong, happy, healthy life. (So he doesn't worry too much!)

You can add anything you believe about Heaven, etc. You could explain that the body, after death, is a shell, the soul (or living part of the body) lives on, if that's what you believe. But that once a person is dead, they cannot come back to be with him, even though they love him. And you can tell him that memories are a great way of keeping people alive in our hearts after they're gone from earth.

Pull IN to the cemetery next time! Let him take a walk around & look at some of the old names, dates, markers, etc. Cemeteries are usually very historical places. He'll love it! You can also explain that burying a loved O. in a cemetery allows the family to go back, visit and remember the deceased.

I agree with the advice to avoid creepy stuff like "watching from Heaven", etc. My son was almost 3 when he lost his grandfather. They can understand a lot at that age, but no need to give him the heebie-jeebies! LOL

If you've already explained death when your father died, then you can say, "That's where other grandpa's live after they died like Grandpa INSERT NAME".

If you haven't explained death, do so honestly and simply. Do not lie to the child because you will just have to back pedal in a few years. If anything, you can say that "A cemetary is where people go to remember their loved ones that are no longer with us." If he says, "Where did the loved ones go?" Respond with your beliefs on the afterlife - Their souls are taken to new bodies (reincarnation), their souls don't go anywhere, but just cease to exist (materialism), their souls go to meet God (jewish/christian/islam). In the last case, do not specify that the dead go to heaven if you are a jew/christian/muslim, because that is just not consistent with the religious view and it will only confuse your child later on if you intent to offer religious instruction.

There are numerous sites out there with lots of helpful information on this topic. I liked this essay: http://www.funeralplan.com/askexperts/explain.html

I think it's important not to use euphemisms like "sleeping" or "gone away to heaven."

Here's the shorter version. You could likely simplify it further.

"Dead" is when the body stops working. It doesn't breathe, eat, move, play, or do anything anymore. When the body dies, some people (myself included), believe that the part of the body that makes you YOU, the soul, goes to another place to be with the souls of all the people they love. A cemetary is where we put the dead bodies of the people we love so we can come and visit and remember them, since we have to wait until WE die before we can visit with their souls.

Tell him it is another place (vs. the mantle) where people go to remember people who are in heaven.

My great Aunt recently passed away and I had to take my just turned 4 year old to the funeral. I explained that at then end of people lives they go and live in heaven with God. Their "old" bodies are buried etc. here on earth so we have a way to remember them with respect. When they are in heaven with God they get "new" bodies that are healthy and they watch their families and are happy to watch us.

Hope this helps!

My son was 3 when his great grandfather died. I explained that he was very old (just turned 100) and people die when they get old. Their bodies get worn out just like his toys when he plays with them a lot. They get broken and worn out. The better you take care of your body and toys the longer they last. Two lessons for the price of one. I always tried to relate abstract ideas like death to concrete things relevent to my kids lives. They usually understood. They're 13 and 16 and don't seem to have any major traumas. lol