How to Do It All.. Kinda Long

You figure out what is the priority and ONLY do that. It is NOT a priority to dust and vacuum every single day. You know what I mean...that has really helped me get by when I'm hit with a lot at once. Then when things get back to normal, you get the rest of the stuff done as needed. Don't be so hard on yourself and only do what is really, really necessary. Good luck!

you HAVE to make sure to eat right and get rest. I take care of one child, a disabled husband, and an 83 year old relative who has no one else.
It is EXHAUSTING if you don't take care of you.

If your grandfather has appointments, you might be able to change them until after your M. is recovered. You will be driving her I assume. The doctor visits really take up a huge chunk of time, usually waiting.

I would also precook and freeze casseroles and pasta meals. It is amazing how many times I grab one of those during crazy times like these.

You'll be just fine. It sounds more overwhelming than it actually is. Get your dad's cash from his account before your mom goes in for surgery, then it will be there for him to take every day. If you don't want to take your baby out on every errand let your fiance do some of them, or go to the store and catch up on laundry when he's home to watch the baby.
My older two were 4 and 6 when my youngest was born. Yes, I was tired a lot but it wasn't too hard for me to keep up with everything, it's just a matter of being organized and efficient. You can do it! And good luck to your mom, I hope everything goes smoothly :)

Lists. I live for them. Remember that this is only temporary, and it sounds like you guys are already responsible for yourselves. A couple of weeks with some added responsibility will be hard, but doable. Fill out a wall calendar with the bills that are due and your additional daily responsibilities and put it up. Start the list making now, with your mother's help so it's all set when she goes in.

And when it's all over treat yourself to something nice :)

Take a big, big breath.....
Give yourself and your little girl a hug.
Take it one day at a time.
Don't think of it as getting it all done. It's not possible anyway.
Keep your meals simple: Baked chicken and baked potatoes and a frozen veggie, hamburger, spaghetti, tacos, etc.
Lower your expectations and plan on visiting your Mum in the hospital.
Make a daily list and place it where ALL can see it, so when they ask if they can help, they can check the list and help you.

I have been in your situation, with kids at home, one a newborn, hubs travels and I ran his parents to their dr appts and shopping needs....I survived.

Play music and KISS - keep it simple silly!

Since you know when her surgery is, the two of you should make a list right now and go out and buy as much as you can now, eliminating any big shops later. Maybe make a bunch of meals and freeze them, including food for grandpa. Do grandpa's laudry when you do your own. At least other than your father making a mess, it seems everyone else works together.

And by the way, you are probably just overwhelmed thinking of it all...when you are in the moment you will do what needs to get done, and what doesn't can wait! Good luck to you and hope your mom's surgery goes well.

Lists help to keep you focused. Have your dad put a plastic bag from the grocery store in the sink when he cooks and toss everything in that, easier clean-up.
Do you have any other family members who can help take care of grandpa? Aunts, cousins could step up and help for a while.

Streamline your work. If you need to do a grocery run ask grandpa what he needs do his shopping as you do yours. Get 2 receipts and show grandpa his and have him pay you then.

Same with laundry. If you are tossing in a load go and get grandpa's laundry and do his with the regular household laundry. It might sound like a lot of running back and forth but your hubby and dad can help with the running.

Give everybody else a piece of this puzzle. Put a hamper by you father! Put a big bowl by the sink for his garbage like Rachel Ray does. Get all the money your dad needs before she has surgery. Tell people quietly that they are going to be Needed for a couple weeks. You can do it but not everything at once and really there is no need to. You have other full grown adults in your family. But I would sure tell your mom how amazing she is to do it all!

You can't do it all. There will be complaints, but you have to try and ignore them. I know it's hard. I scream, I yell, then I realize nobody knows what I want help with if I don't ask. I've learned to delegate and not look for perfection. So what if the toilet paper it's hung the way I like it. It's done. I also let the least important stuff go and tell everyone, "Things get done, when they get done....They will get done sooner or later, but not right now." No one is going to die, because you changed the sheets on Sunday when you had time instead of on Saturday. Yes, your house will look rather messy while you're taking care of your mom, but that's just how life is and it's only temporary. Now, throw some bread out for the birds and get yourself some flavored coffie and watch them. Those birds just do their own thing. They don't worry about what someone else thinks. Some have a job to do....feed their babies, so that takes priority and everything else goes on hold. They don't stress out about it and neither should we. Now, if I can only follow my own advice! lol.

You've gotten some great advice so far. I would add do a good cleaning (dusting, vacuuming, etc) before the surgery and talk as a family and let them know if you see them leave something out you are going to ask them to put it away (ie clothes) and that if everyone does a little it will help a lot. =) Focus on the things that have to be done, care for your mom, grocery shopping and laundry and dishes. If you get them to pick up after themselves then it will be a lot easier. I hope your mom has a speedy recovery. =)

Take a deep breath, you will and can do this.
I heard that lists work really well.
Make sure you get enough sleep and have some time with friends so you keep yourself sane.
Your mom is most important so she comes first.

Meals can be simple like Hamburgers, Spaghetti, Crock Pot, Chili etc. etc.
If you cook, have your fiance clean the kitchen and do dishes
As soon as you get enough laundry for a load, do one then, and don't let it pile up for days. Get Grandpas while your at it.
I wouldn't worry about keeping the house super clean but tidy.
Maybe run all errands together
Could you do the grocery shopping at night and have your fiance watch your daughter and mom for you?

Whew! I'm tired already? ;0)

Deep breath, pull out paper & pen and start that list. Make it generic at first, everything you need to do for each person or family. See what you can combine into one. Like shopping for everybody. Make sure you make a list of what each person needs, and make the list over a period of a couple days, to make sure you don't miss something, and then hope you didn't miss anything.
Don't worry about where baby fits into all this. Lil Miss Bri will fit in just fine. Maybe not at those moments you find ideal, but she'll be fine and so will you!
Laundry, if you have a washer & dryer at home, do a load or two everyday. I try to do mine in the eve when everything is settling down. Sometimes I start a load and leave it in the wash until the next eve when I can throw it in the dryer and start a new load. One eve in the washer will not, or should not leave you with smelly clothes.
If you can do laundry in the eve, while you're waiting for the loads to finish, you can work the books.
Cooking, ahh, I love my crockpot. There are several bloggers with great recipes for this handy item. Here's one site http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2008/09/jalapeno-pot-roas...
She has recipes for breakfast, appetizers, dinner. This will save you a ton of time and leave an easy cleanup in the kitchen. Maybe even prepare some of the meals now and freeze them. You run out of time, or forgot to turn on the crockpot, reheat what you already made. Have a hoagie night. Who doesn't love a great sub sandwich. As for Dad throwing garbage in the sink, put a bag out, or even better, lay newspaper in the sink for him. Grab the mess and toss it out in one swoop.
Hubby is already cleaning the bathroom.
As for Dad going to the ATM, no reason to withdraw money daily. Find out what Mom takes out daily, and get it all at once, then ration out the money daily.
Btw: if you have money to spare the new ninja crockpot is amazing! Oven, steamer, stove top in one! You can make spaghetti in one pot! Water, sauce, dry pasta, frozen meatballs, 30 mins later you have a complete meal, and never had to drain the pasta! Crockpot on crack! Love it! They have it a Macy's or you can buy online and make monthly payments. About $40 a month. But you have to use a credit card, not debit card, to do that. Totally worth the price, and you will save an enormous amount of time in your daily grind. Here's the link if you're interested. http://www.ninjakitchen.com/PR/index.html?utm_expid=40328...
And stock up on paper plates, paper/plastic cups, and plastic utensils. It's only for a week, so utilize these great items to help with clean up. We're so busy in this house, that it's almost a daily used item for us. We don't have a dishwasher and we don't have a lot of time for clean up, so these work great for us.
And don't worry too much about the rest of the house. It's lived in! You'll know what needs to be done and what can wait. You don't have to do everything! :0)

Take another deep breath and call it a day.

Best of luck!

You've already gotten a lot of good suggestions, but I just wanted to resonate some of them and also point out that it is stressful enough being a first time mom and having a newborn to care for, but add in a major health/medical event and that can really put you over the edge. My mom went through chemo last year and my dad was forced to take on a whole new role. However, at a certain point, he also took on the persona of superhero caregiver, feeling like he HAD to do everything. He was so resistant to help and just said he could do it all, that it wasn't a big deal (laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping). The thing is, if you do it all, you won't be such a good emotional support for your mother and the rest of your family, which is what they really need. Since you know that your mother will be having surgery:
- have a family meeting so that you can put everything out there. Prepare with your mother beforehand and delegate some of the to-dos, like have husband and dad have a turn wiping down the bathroom with lysol wipes, put in a load of laundry
- try to start a meal train with some close friends and family so that at least 2-3 meals a week are covered
- prepare some frozen meals in advance
- Peapod grocery delivery (if available in your area)
- also, if you haven't already, feel out if you have any friends or family who have gone through something similar. It can be really helpful to have someone that you can reach out to with a quick phone call if you need to.

Good luck! You will get through it. I wish a speedy recovery for your mom.