How to Decide on the Baby?

Finish up you freshman year of high school first, actually finish high school first, actually, just don't.

Well, my first simply appeared in my belly after adult activities. It did not take long for me and my fiance to realize we were not going to have another. I think it is something you either know or do not know.

You've decided to be serious and ask a real question this time? (Unlike the 3 questions that MP removed yesterday.) Good.

Now if you really mean this, there are a lot of reasons to have a baby and a lot of reasons to NOT have a baby. They vary according to the person and the couple. But a good representation are the following:

Are you in a committed relationship? Being married is really the best, to a man who is caring and loving and who actually WANTS children. Unmarried couples have kids, but it causes many complications.

Do you make enough of a living to afford children? Kids cost a bundle, and I really mean, a bundle. When you commit to having children, you have to give up a lot of monetary possessions because THEY come before you do.

Maturity. Are you willing to give 18 plus years of your life to take care of another person, 24 hours, 7 days a week? Are you willing to put aside the person you have been who does whatever they want, in order to become responsible and serious? With your prior questions on here that were so trollish that they were pulled, you seem to have a need to shock and say very inappropriate things. That's really immature. If you want to become a mother, you need to give this type of behavior up. INCLUDING the answer you just posted in a foreign language. You need to grow up.

Love. Most mothers automatically love their children. But just becoming a mother doesn't mean that a woman automatically loves their child. Will you? If you love a "guy" so much that you'd let him take first place in your heart OVER your child, then you shouldn't consider having a baby. Your child comes first. Every single time.

Think hard before deciding to be a mother.

Dawn

You're not mature enough -- that's obvious from your previous posts and that fact that you can't even take the time to write out "too." Do your future children a favor and don't.

We had been married for 2 years before we decided to try for a baby. We had discussed how we wanted to raise the children. We lived on one salary for a year before we decided to try because we wanted to be sure it was possible financially. We made a commitment to each other and to our family to do what was best for the children.
Those middle of the night feedings, poopy diapers, ear infections, cranky and fussy times were hard. As the children get older they get more expensive and they need just as much time if not more than they did as babies. Diapers and formula are expensive, but as they get older the things they want and like are far more expensive... And the clothes get bigger so you end up doing a whole lot more loads of laundry than you did when they were little. Trust me on this!
I stayed home. I volunteered in the classrooms. I was available to do the housework, the cleaning, the doctors' visits, the dentist visits and more. If it had to do with the children, 99% of the time I handled it. That's not to say he wasn't involved. If the kids had a doc's appointment, he wanted to know how it went. He expected a phone call or a quick email.
We always presented a united front for discipline. This is not easy, but we did it and our kids turned out pretty darned good.
My husband has never ever missed a performance at school, a game, a swim meet, a track meet, a parent teacher conference, or an extra curricular activity the children were involved in. He has helped with activities, hauled equipment, and kissed booboos.
You need to be willing to put yourself aside for 18 years. You need to be willing to give up some things to which you may have become accustomed. Hair cuts are a twice a year thing for me. Shopping is virtually non-existent. Fashion - eh... I've never been fashionable, but now that my children are college age, I'm getting my groove back.
So - should you have a baby?
If you haven't been married for at least 2 years and can communicate completely and honestly, can live on one salary, and aren't sure you want to start a family, the answer is No.
Do not bring a baby into an unstable environment. Do not bring a baby into a marriage or a relationship to save it. It won't happen.
Think. Plan.
YMMV
LBC

N.:

For you to procreate? man...that's tough. There is a line from a movie that I love..."to call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people."

I would strongly suggest you finish middle school, high school and college before you procreate....learn to spell, write and so forth...

other than that? if I were you? I would keep my legs closed VERY tightly.

A wise friend once said "No one should have a baby unless they want a child so badly their teeth hurt."

She said this (she, who chose childlessness without regret) because she understood the incredible amount of sacrifice and commitment it takes to parent well. Financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually-- and dare I say it, intellectually... children will strongly demand these resources of us.

If you are 'not too sure', don't. Just don't. No child should have to grow up with parents who were ambivalent about them to begin with. Ladybug C had a good, practical breakdown of it. But really, if you don't want a child so much it hurts, probably best to wait.

Big bouquet of flowers to Dawn, too. I didn't see your questions yesterday, however, inferring from others comments, maybe you need to grow up or seek lots of therapy first? Trolling a parenting site is NOT what any real parent has time for-- or they're a *really* crappy parent.

Well, N., it's clear you should not have a baby. If you are not sure, then your answer is a big NO.

After you are married, and it's a committment you and your husband want to make together, then you decide.

Dawn, you always say the right thing just right!

Once I was married I figured that was what comes next.

When you're ready, you'll know. For sure. No doubts.

If you have doubts, you're not ready. So table this idea for a while.

After your previous question's it's hard to really put forth the effort to explain how did I know experience

I *always* knew I wanted to be a mother. Once my husband and I were married and in our house, we decided to start our family. But it didn't happen right away; it took almost 2 years to get pregnant with our first. Our 2nd and 3rd happened our first tries - go figure! haha

Personally, if you're hmming and hawing about it, you're not ready.

Well.....we just knew it was time. We wanted them close in age so it just happened right away. Good luck with your decision. Its something that there will never be the perfect time to have a baby. (finances,work, life, school etc.)When you feel that little tingle of baby fever, you will know...then that is the time.

lol, well ours were both surprises so God made the decision for us :)

Well my first kid was a girl and she was a handful! I was done with having kids and didnt want anymore. But then I got to thinking about how I wanted her to have a sibling in life. How my hubby wanted a boy to carry on his name. How I wanted many grandkids when I get older. So 6 years later I lucked up and had a boy. Wish I wouldve had them closer together tho. 12 months after my son we had a unplanned pregnancy with twins! omg! I will never forget that doctor's visit. Children are a joy and is a gift from God. If you are physically, mentally and finacially able..then go for it!